How Would You Design Your Dream Office?

An anonymous reader writes "My company is building a new office. As the local IT Guy, I've been asked to design my new office from the ground up. If you were given the opportunity to design your dream office, what features would you include? What things would you try to avoid? I get to determine absolutely everything. The catch? I have to share my office space with all the network equipment. Just 4 standard racks, and all your basic telephone and network wiring. Can anyone help me get started? I have no idea where to even begin."

Comments

Step One:

[Anonymous Coward]

Ban All Negroes.

Re:Step One:

[Anonymous Coward]

Believe it or not, the majority of Slashdot readers are male, aged 12 to 24, are computer literate or computer proficient, introverted, and homosexual. Slashdot creator and self-avowed homosexual Rob Malda, who, in 1997 in his Holland, Michigan dorm, was running a gay singles' list, had the following to say:

If I hadn't had Slashdot when I was coming out, I don't know what would have happened. There would have been no one to connet with, no twinks to share my rage with, no bears to gain knowledge from. Slashdot was the ultimate gay hookup and for that alone am I thankful I created it years ago.

Obviously, Slashdot serves more than the tech community it purports to cater to. In 1999, Slashdot hired then-Wired columnist Jon Katz, another openly gay literary genius. Sporting blue hair and multiple facial piercings, the angst-ridden Katz expresses in his writings are clearly visible in real life. I'd found a home with Rob. Wired was too straight, but at Slashdot I fit right in.

Finally, in early 2000, public homosexual and Nazi censor Michael Sims joined the Slashdot orgy crew. I wanted to introduce goat sex and a lot of non-Slashdot, homosexual, erect male penises to the group, said Sims, So ESR got involved with donkey dicks and we all like to suck each other off. Without Rob Malda, Michael Sims would be nothing except an aggravated gay male without a place to call home.

Slashdot is definitely the place to be gay concluded Sims. Definitely the place to be gay.

Re:Step One:

[Anonymous Coward]

troll? I guess somebody never heard about the geek compound. I interned there the summer of 99.... damn, they had some nice offices. High-end VA Linux boxes with dual 21" monitors (this was before widescreen LCDs were available). Nice chairs (not herman miller, but quality). Everybody had their own office, but often we hung out in the dungeon with a our laptops, discussing neat perl hacks and db caching strategies. There was a linux box hooked up to the stereo playing mp3s, and the air was heavy with the scent of astroglide, shit, and semen. Empty beer cans and poppers littered the floor. I'll never forget my first fisting experience. Hemos was licking out my asshole when cowboy neal walked in the room. Neal held me down while Hemos tied my hands and feet. I was scared, hurt, and humiliated when Cowboy Neal raped my ass with his fist, but I learned to enjoy it. Unfortunately, the summer ended and I had to go back to school.

Office design

[Anonymous Coward]

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Re:Office design

[Anonymous Coward]

Lies!

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