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New Years Resolutions - An Engineering Approach
Hugh Pickens writes "Four out of five people who make New Year's resolutions will eventually break them and a third won't even make it to the end of January says the NY Times. But experts say the real problem is that people make the wrong resolutions. The typical resolution often reflects a general desire. To engineer better behavior, it is more productive to focus on a specific goal. '"Many clients make broad resolutions, but I advise them to focus the goals so that they are not overwhelmed," says Lisa R. Young. "Small and tangible one-day-at-a-time goals work best."' Here are some resolutions that experts say can work: To lose weight, resolve to split an entree with your dining partner when dining out. To improve your fitness, wear a pedometer and monitor your daily activity. To improve family life, resolve to play with your kids at least one extra day a week. To improve your marriage, find a new activity you and your spouse both enjoy such as taking a pottery class. On a lighter note: What was Steve Jobs' New Year's Resolution?"
To me, and this is probably the engineer in me speaking, the arbitrary designation of the end of the year as a time to make life adjustments is very odd. If there is a problem in your life or something that needs changing, it seems like you should work to correct that whenever you discover it. The big push for resolutions around new years seems counterproductive in that many people may wait to make changes until "the new year".
It seems like personal growth should be a cycle of small, incremental improvements made throughout your life.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
All I hear is "Loose weight", "Spend more time with my depressing spouse", "Spend more time at the depressing gym."
Well of course no one keeps those. Who wants to do that crap?
Why not resolve to do something you'll enjoy.
Resolve to have more and better sex than last year.
Resolve to earn more for less work than last year.
Resolve to find something new that makes you laugh.
Resolve to cross more things off your "Before I Die..." list.
Resolve to spend less time around people you don't like.
And it just might turn out that you're spending time enjoying your life that a lot of the other things take care of themselves.
I've been studying this very subject heavily for the past 18 months or so.
We now know a great deal about how the mind works and have applied it to the general subject of "becoming a success". Being successful always involves explicitly setting goals, and this can be done with New Years' resolutions SO LONG AS they are done correctly.
I'm boiling the issues down to a few simple facts, but they are all verified by psychological studies and have their basis in well-known underlying mechanisms. It all comes from your Reticular Activating System, which is a part of your brain that is involved with setting goals (I'm simplifying).
1) Don't make resolutions, set goals. Pick the major areas of your life (personal, work, relationship, church, community) and write down things that you'd like to achieve in the upcoming year.
2) Resolutions need to be written down. No one has explained why writing is needed, but it works. Lots of studies have shown this. (Maybe it's because wirting things activates all areas of your mind at once: you "say" it in your mind while writing it, you see it, you write it, &c).
3) Resolutions must be personal. Use "I" when writing them (as in "I read 15 books by year's end").
4) Resolutions must be positive. If you say "I stop smoking" or "I stop chewing my nails", it won't work. The RAS only deals with positive commands, and not negative ones. To deal with biting your nails, write "I notice every time I bring my fingers to my mouth" or something, and then stop yourself at those times.
5) Resolutions must be in present tense. Write "I earn $80K a year", not "I earn $80K by the end of the year".
6) Where possible, resolutions should be measurable. If you want to lose weight, say "I weigh 175 pounds".
7) Resolutions should be reasonable. Don't say "I earn a million dollars a year", take your salary, add 20% and write "I earn XXX a year".
The more specific and detailed you are, the greater likelyhood that the goal will happen. Want a new car? Write down the make, model, color, options, and everything else you can think of.
Once you have your goals written out, occasionally look at them. Once a week or more will really drive the message home to your subconscious.
People who do this are generally amazed at the results. It's making use of existing well-known mechanisms in your mind, but we've only recently discovered how to make use of them.