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Hints at the Future of the Xbox 360 Emerge
CES has brought out quite a bit of news, for subjects across the tech industry. The future of the Xbox 360 seems to a subject Microsoft can't talk enough about. Gates' keynote touched on new media partnerships for Live Marketplace, like the collaboration with Disney/ABC. A post-keynote email to several games writers noted that 2008 will be the company's year to capitalize on strong hardware and software sales from the holiday season, and that several as-yet-unannounced exclusive 360 titles are in the works. Fans of the platform might still have some anxiety this year; a rumour on the 1up site indicates Microsoft is already working on a game for the next-next-gen console to bear the Xbox name.
Gates plans to market the XBox 360 as an alternative to the OLPC. While the price is not $188 yet, his CEO voodoo math has predicted that by 2010 it will be $188. It will have two straps added to it so that it can be worn like a backpack and come with heads-up display helmets which he bought at reduced cost from Lucas after all of his scenes with clones in Star Wars. Freakish looking shock troopers will poor forth from 3rd world countries and create waves of ultra intelligent Xbox live users chanting for more NASCAR and looking to 'kick some ass.'
No longer concerned with rice and potable water, they will demand badges and strive to be atop a point ranking system. Several dictators will realize that equipping the outfits with actual weapons and removing the heads up helmets make them perfect mindless warriors with twitch movements that would put Ali to shame.
All hippie wii players will be destroyed in the great cleansing while PS3 players will live it out safely, unknowingly in their basements.
After that, the XBox 360 will be useless. Used and marketed in more ways than a Singapore whore, the XBox 360 will shave its head in a desperate cry for attention. Then it will start dropping babies all over the place and release an album with the title track ripping into Gates.
The XBox 360 will then spend the rest of eternity in the old consoles home with the NeoGeo, TurboGrafix 16 and Jaguar 32 playing pong and solitaire. Visiting hours will be from noon to 5pm Monday-Friday.
My work here is dung.
Please tell me we aren't going to start using the term "next-next-gen".
Can't we just start calling the current consoles "current gen"?
Microsoft is going to try to continue to market the xbox 360? And write games for it? As well as collaborate with other companies to enhance it's live features?
This is truly remarkable news.
Wrong! As Sony has informed us previously, next-gen doesn't begin until Sony says so!
Bah! I think my Atari 2600 still works, even though it is in my attic. You kids and your realistic graphics, bah. In my time, we had ET and... well honestly, we hated it. Bah again.
In God we trust, all others require data.