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What Would You Do As President?
With the elections continually in the news there is constant discourse on what each candidate has done or will do. However, rarely do people get the chance to say what they would do. Here is your chance, you have been elected President of the US (god help us all), what items go to the head of the class and how would you handle them?
And let someone who knows what they're doing operate.
God spoke to me.
0) get in a time machine because you have to be at least 35 years old to be president.
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... any time I was in doubt as to what to do, President McBang would post the question to Slashdot and use the top-moderated answer for guidance.
Oh, and I'd ask Cmdr Taco what he thought as well.
To put a witty saying into 120 characters, jst rmv ll th vwls.
If I was president,
I'd get elected on Friday, assassinated on Saturday,
and buried on Sunday.
If I was president...
If I was president
An old man told me, instead of spending billions on the war,
we can use some of that money, in the ghetto.
I know some so poor, they use the spring as the shower,
when screaming "fight the power".
That's when the vulture devoured
[chorus]
If I was president,
I'd get elected on Friday, assasinated on Saturday,
and buried on Sunday.
If I was president...
If I was president...
If I was president...
If I was president
But the radio won't play this.
They call this rebel music.
How can you refuse it, children of moses?
[chorus]
If I was president,
I'd get elected on Friday, assassinated on Saturday,
and buried on Sunday.
If I was president...
If i was president
Tell the children the truth, the truth.
Christopher Columbus didn't discover America.
Tell them the truth.
The truth
YEAH! Tell them about Marcus Garvey.
The truth YEAH! The truth.
Tell them about Martin Luther King.
Tell them the truth.
The Truth.
Tell them about JFK
If I was President
[chorus]
If I was president,
I'd get elected on Friday, assassinated on Saturday,
and buried on Sunday.
If I was president...
If I was president
Veto everything. With exceptions for bills that repeal earlier laws.
William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
Interns.
I like basketball!!1!
Your mom
Wise men say, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
Absolute number one thing, first day on the job: get a blowjob from a cuter intern than Monica, then post pics of it on MySpace. You know, just to get that out of the way.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
> I would wonder how I got a few million people to vote for me, despite the fact that I refused to be controlled by special interest groups.
Wonder, schmunder. Your pondering can be ended with one simple word: diebold.
"Ask Slashdot"
Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
call up Ron Paul and ask him what he'd do
Now that's leadership.
include $sig;
1;
1. Everyone who ever picked on me as a kid would receive all expense paid accommodations in Gitmo.
2. A Manhatten Project level of effort to develop realistic sexbots.
3. Presidential Security: Bye-bye Secret Service. Hello Mord'Sith.
4. New Marine units composed of the Islamic extremists worst nightmare: superbutch lesbians locked into eternal PMS synchronization. Name? The Crimson Tide.
5. The immediate carpet bombing of Hollywood.
6. Churches? Tax 'em, and require every claim they make about their deities be backed up by documented proof.
7. Abortions would be free for all at sidewalk kiosks and in malls. No age limit. No question asked.
8. Power? Breeder reactors (and other advanced types) that double as desalination plants. More power? Gentetically bred giant superhampsters.
9. Lawyers who lose frivolous lawsuit would be able to keep their license to practice, but they'd have to fight a lion using nothing but a spork.
10. Everytime I get something like "Slow down, Cowboy. It has been X minutes since you last posted!" where X is anything greater than 2, a Slashdot editor is waterboarded.
I think you have as much chance of being president as he does.
Sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Using arguendo in a sentence, correctly, is not appropriate to this forum. Take your dirty Latin elsewhere.