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China Vows to Stop the Rain

Posted by samzenpus on from the way-ahead-of-the-germ-warfare-division dept.

Since the Olympic stadium doesn't have a roof, the Beijing Meteorological Bureau has been given the task of making sure the games remain dry. According to Zhang Qian, head of weather manipulation (best title to have on a business card ever) at the bureau, they've had success with light rain but heavy rain remains tough to control. I see a hurricane cannon in some lucky country's future.

15 of 214 comments (clear)

  1. Someone tell John Fogerty? by Fysiks+Wurks · · Score: 5, Funny

    He always wanted to know "who'll stop the rain?" The Chinese.

    --
    P226
    1. Re:Someone tell John Fogerty? by croddy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Really? Have you ever seen the rain?

  2. I know how it is going to work... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Chinese military transport aircraft will take off from Beijing loaded with kids and gigantic loudspeakers. You will hear chants of "Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Back Again Another Day".

    1. Re:I know how it is going to work... by sethstorm · · Score: 4, Funny

      How would they pay off the various goldfarming shops that employ them?

      --
      Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.
  3. Re:Rain's better than smog by randyest · · Score: 4, Funny

    Great idea. They should probably all take up smoking too. That way they can build up a protective layer of soot in their lungs prior to the olympics; that's sure to help their athletic performance.

    --
    everything in moderation
  4. Re:What in the hell? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    doesn't render properly on firefox 2.0 either
    Your mom doesn't render properly in Firefox 2.0 EITHER!

    OH SNAP!
  5. Idly misogynist by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    My wife thinks cooking and fucking are two cities in China.

  6. Mad Scienteists by Laguerre · · Score: 5, Funny

    Zhang Qian, head of weather manipulation (best title to have on a business card ever)
    Mad scientists can't start out being James Bond villains. This seems like a great place for an aspiring mad scientist to work, fresh out of mad grad school.
  7. which meme fits best? by davidwr · · Score: 2, Funny

    Vote:

    *All your weather are belong to us
    *Only old North Koreans need dry stadiums
    *In Maoist China, rain drops YOU!
    *Imagine a Beijing-Wolf cluster of dry stadiums!

    and the obligatory

    *I for one welcome our new weather-controlling communist overlords

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
    1. Re:which meme fits best? by MarkGriz · · Score: 2, Funny

      Not a meme, per se, but this brings a whole new meaning to "Hacked by Chinese"

      --
      Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  8. Re:Cheaper Solution by orclevegam · · Score: 2, Funny

    If it's too expensive to roof the entire stadium, they could just make hundreds of thousands of tiny roofs, and maybe put them on top of sticks. Then all they do is handle these little portable roofs out to all the people attending. The athletes of course might have a problem, but the actual area they compete in is much smaller and it should be much cheaper to build a roof there. Hey, someone call Bezos, maybe he can patent that portable roof idea.

    --
    Curiosity was framed, Ignorance killed the cat.
  9. Missing tag... by The+Damned+Yankee · · Score: 2, Funny

    whatcouldpossiblygowrong?

    --
    "Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand." - Mark Twain
  10. Re:What in the hell? by jez9999 · · Score: 3, Funny

    You must be new to Slashdot. You know how most site developers have a local copy of the site that they test on and then sync to the main site when they're finished? With Slashdot, that's the main site.

    --
    == Jez ==
    Do you miss Firefox? Try Pale Moon.
  11. Butterfly Effect? by EdBear69 · · Score: 4, Funny

    So if they stop a hurricane in China, does that mean a butterfly here will stop flapping its wings?

    --
    I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV...
  12. Re:What in the hell? by realthing02 · · Score: 2, Funny

    This really changes the idea of "Big Game Hunting" doesn't it.