Microsoft Battles Vista Perception With Prizes

LambAndMint writes "In what can only be described as an act of utter desperation to overcome Vista's mostly negative public perception issues, Microsoft has put together an online "Fact or Fiction" quiz about Windows Vista. Every person who submits themselves to Microsoft indoctrination gets a free shirt and the chance to win a $15,000 prize. Some of the supposed 'facts' will make you feel like you're reading a document from an alternate reality. Get ready to get a job as a computer salesman for a mass-market retailer as you go through the quiz."

Comments

All I read was...

[csguy314]

Woohoo! Free shirt!

Re:All I read was...

[irby0]

Free shirt for OEM system builders.

Re:All I read was...

[coolhaus]

Woohoo! Free shirt!

I dropped an "r" or two when I first read that. It made better sense at first, honestly.

Re:All I read was...

[edwardpickman]

Great, a free t-shirt that...

You have to type in Allow before you can put it on.

Can only be washed in Microsoft approved detergent

And isn't compatible with any other clothes I own.

I'll stick with my plain white open source t-shirt

Re:All I read was...

[somersault]

Meh.. I don't care if it's free - I'm not going to get one unless they provide access to the source pattern..

Re:All I read was...

[harry666t]

Would you like to see the questions?

The first was: you're trying to get a free t-shirt. Cancel or Allow?

Re:All I read was...

[durnurd]

And you have to get a new torso before you can put it on, otherwise you can only walk really slowly... right? And when you do get your new torso, all of your clothes will become slightly transparent.

Re:All I read was...

[calebt3]

It's not free. You are selling your soul.

Re:All I read was...

[Mahjub Sa'aden]

And you have to get a new torso before you can put it on, otherwise you can only walk really slowly... right? And when you do get your new torso, all of your clothes will become slightly transparent. This being the internet, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that slightly transparent clothes really flatter me. Women have commented, or should I say drooled, when I wear something sheer. And I own the Golden Gate Bridge. True story.

Re:All I read was...

[ozmanjusri]

Wanna bet I can find myself a free Linux shirt somewhere

I've open-sourced my Linux shirts.

Just copy the text below into a word-processor, scale it up to your shirt size, and print it onto the shirt.

LINUX

You can thank me later.

Sheesh.

[Divebus]

I'm glad they're not running an airline. They'd be in the side of a mountain by now.

Re:Sheesh.

[csguy314]

Sure, you make that sound like a bad thing. But for all the people that *live* on the side of the mountain it'd be pretty darn convenient. ...
Uhh... Don't mind the burning fuselage, it's a feature!

Re:Sheesh.

[Stormwatch]

1990s called, they want their joke back...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?

DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.

OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Once they finally finished you're offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.

Wings of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.

Mach Airlines
There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived.

Newton Airlines
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, th

And the grand prize......

[edwardpickman]

is a free upgrade to XP Pro!

I went to Camp Microsoft...

[Anonymous Coward]

...and all I got was this lousy operating system.

(But the T-Shirt wasn't half bad)

How Software Companies Die

[lobiusmoop]

Got to get some better packaging. Yeah, that's it.

Re:Propaganda

[Divebus]

Oh. It's just a way to seed Silverlight. Nevermind.

Fact or fiction

[Opportunist]

This test is interesting enough to clog your system with silverlight.

[ ] Fact
[x] Fiction

Re:Fact or fiction

[Jugalator]

This quiz will change people's perceptions of Windows Vista.

[ ] Fact
[x] Fiction

It's a Silverlight app

[schickb]

I love how the silverlight download wants me to run silverlight.exe to install it... on my Linux box. Probably not going to work. How about some better user-agent checking with a message like: "For your own good, please go away. We are only planning to provide half-baked implementations and lip-service to non-Microsoft platforms".

Fun

[whitehatlurker]

Okay, so I went and installed silverlight to try this out. They won't let you give a "wrong" answer.

Q: Vista faces significant compatibility issues with hardware devices
A: Fact!
MS: Are you 100% sure? We supported 1.4M devices at launch and have doubled that number since then. Are you sure
YES / NO
A: YES
MS: You're wrong WRONG! WRONG! Too stoopid to have a computer TRY AGAIN
Q: Vista faces significant compatibility issues with hardware devices

I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that.

Silverlight

[Kamineko]

I'm not too familiar with this 'Silverlight'.

Is it equally devastating to both werewolves and vampires?

Re:Silverlight

[geekoid]

Yes. Also Browsers.

Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required!

[Timothy Brownawell]

Windows Vista sold more copes than any other Microsoft Operating System (including Windows XP) In the first month following launch.
(Fact) Fiction

Sold more copies of what? XP?

Windows Vista faces significant Compatibility issues with hardware devices.
Fact (Fiction)

It's the hardware devices that have Compatibility issues with Vista.

Windows Vista faces significant issues in terms of integrating with other software applications.
Fact (Fiction)

Similarly, it's the applications which have trouble integrating with Vista.

Windows Vista delivers all new levels of security compared to previous Windows operating systems.
(Fact) Fiction

How low can you go?

Windows Vista is expneisve to deploy and run.
Fact (Fiction)

Compared to the hardware you'll need, the OS is downright cheap!

Windows Vista hasn't been popular with businesses.
Fact (Fiction)

Microsoft is a business, and they certainly like it!

Windows Vista is unreliable and requires more technical support than Windows XP.
Fact (Fiction)

This one's correct, because it is reliable -- reliably slow.

Microsoft has been swift to diagnose and rectify initial issues with Windows Vista.
(Fact) Fiction

Due to the size of these issues, this "rectification" has produced many goatse look-alikes.

Windows Vista can help deliver peace of mind for parents in terms of their children's online safety.
(Fact) Fiction

You can't get in trouble online if the computer doesn't work.

Windows Vista won't truly be ready until the first complete Service Pack is released.
Fact (Fiction)

I'd say it'll take until the second or third.

Their answers, not mine!

But the snarky comments are all mine.

Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required!

[MichaelTheDrummer]

No, you have to look at the wording of the question more carefully:

Windows Vista won't truly be ready until the first complete Service Pack is released.

Clearly, this means there will be at least a second service pack before Vista is actually ready! :P

Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required!

[Tolkien]

Their answers, not mine!

Wow. They got every answer wrong on their own test!

First prize is a copy of Vista

[sizzzzlerz]

Second prize is two copies.

An Ignorant Buffoon has qualified

[david_craig]

I actually did this a while back (the promotion has been running since December 2007 IIRC). They send both a shirt and a certificate (as a Vista certified salesperson) to whatever name you fill in the form. I did it several times with the names "A Retarded Monkey", "Someone Brain-damaged", etc.

I have a certificate on my wall that states "This certifies that An Ignorant Buffoon has reached the level of excellence to qualify as a Vista Certified Salesperson".

(I'm paraphrasing as I'm not in the office at the moment).

What to do with your shirts.

[gnutoo]

Donate your shirt to charity. Your feelings will go like this:

• Actually receiving your shirt after suffering through 30 minutes of Silverlight dribble - neutral.
• Cleaning your closet of dated shirts that make you look old or gullible - satisfying.
• Giving those shirts to charity so some kid can groove on the pretty colors and designs - very satisfying.
• Seeing all the local pan handlers in MSFT shirts - priceless.

Living well is good revenge. Being kind can be better. You will never get back the time you wasted but someone can make good use of the results.