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Microsoft Battles Vista Perception With Prizes
LambAndMint writes "In what can only be described as an act of utter desperation to overcome Vista's mostly negative public perception issues, Microsoft has put together an online "Fact or Fiction" quiz about Windows Vista. Every person who submits themselves to Microsoft indoctrination gets a free shirt and the chance to win a $15,000 prize. Some of the supposed 'facts' will make you feel like you're reading a document from an alternate reality. Get ready to get a job as a computer salesman for a mass-market retailer as you go through the quiz."
Woohoo! Free shirt!
This is left as an exercise for the reader.
...and all I got was this lousy operating system.
(But the T-Shirt wasn't half bad)
Sure, you make that sound like a bad thing. But for all the people that *live* on the side of the mountain it'd be pretty darn convenient. ...
Uhh... Don't mind the burning fuselage, it's a feature!
This is left as an exercise for the reader.
Oh. It's just a way to seed Silverlight. Nevermind.
Most of the stuff on
I love how the silverlight download wants me to run silverlight.exe to install it... on my Linux box. Probably not going to work. How about some better user-agent checking with a message like: "For your own good, please go away. We are only planning to provide half-baked implementations and lip-service to non-Microsoft platforms".
I'm not too familiar with this 'Silverlight'.
Is it equally devastating to both werewolves and vampires?
Sold more copies of what? XP?
It's the hardware devices that have Compatibility issues with Vista.
Similarly, it's the applications which have trouble integrating with Vista.
How low can you go?
Compared to the hardware you'll need, the OS is downright cheap!
Microsoft is a business, and they certainly like it!
This one's correct, because it is reliable -- reliably slow.
Due to the size of these issues, this "rectification" has produced many goatse look-alikes.
You can't get in trouble online if the computer doesn't work.
I'd say it'll take until the second or third.
But the snarky comments are all mine.
1990s called, they want their joke back...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?
DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.
OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Once they finally finished you're offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.
Wings of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.
Mach Airlines
There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived.
Newton Airlines
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, th
Circumcision is child abuse.
Second prize is two copies.
I actually did this a while back (the promotion has been running since December 2007 IIRC). They send both a shirt and a certificate (as a Vista certified salesperson) to whatever name you fill in the form. I did it several times with the names "A Retarded Monkey", "Someone Brain-damaged", etc.
I have a certificate on my wall that states "This certifies that An Ignorant Buffoon has reached the level of excellence to qualify as a Vista Certified Salesperson".
(I'm paraphrasing as I'm not in the office at the moment).
Donate your shirt to charity. Your feelings will go like this:
Living well is good revenge. Being kind can be better. You will never get back the time you wasted but someone can make good use of the results.