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A Fond Look at Some Obsolete Ports

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the tab-a-into-slot-b dept.

StealMyWiFi writes "C-NET.co.uk has a lighthearted look at ten of the best obsolete ports. The biggest surprise is that C-NET claims Firewire is obsolete, which will come as a surprise to the millions of people worldwide who are still using it, especially in light of the story that Firewire is due to get a massive speed boost! The same could be said for their claims about SCSI, although from a consumer point of view I guess that's fairer."

20 of 528 comments (clear)

  1. C-Net by Etrias · · Score: 5, Funny

    C-net couldn't find an obsolete port with two hands, a map and a flashlight.

    1. Re:C-Net by corbettw · · Score: 4, Funny

      Which is ironic, since C-net, maps, and flashlights are all obsolete themselves.

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    2. Re:C-Net by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Cell phone displays.

    3. Re:C-Net by gardyloo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Girls.

          Oh... sorry. I thought you said fleshlights.

    4. Re:C-Net by commodoresloat · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nothing -- it's just that after Bill Gates was asked to change a lightbulb, darkness was declared the new standard.

  2. SCSI isn't what it used to be by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

    SCSI wasn't any fun anymore once they put in auto termination anyway. Long ago are the days when you couldn't get your SCSI disks to show up, no matter how you chained them or where you put the terminator. The only way to get it working was to cut yourself trying to connect the third drive for the 500th time and bleed all over the cables while swearing loudly. After that, everything would work just fine. You see, the dark lord will not allow SCSI to work without a blood sacrifice.

    1. Re:SCSI isn't what it used to be by NMerriam · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh, come on. SCSI will *always* be fun, termination or not. Just the act of putting an adaptor on an adaptor on another adaptor so that you can connect a controller to a disk is an adventure. Just calculating the minimum number of adaptors you need to own to be able to connect any two arbitrary SCSI devices could keep Stephen Hawking busy for an afternoon.

      SCSI is one of those technologies where you inevitably wonder "how can engineers be so brilliant, and yet so colossally stupid, at the same time?"

      --
      Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.
    2. Re:SCSI isn't what it used to be by calebt3 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I found it also helped if I sacrificed virgin RAM it helped also. Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
  3. My favorite obsolete port is #23 by stuporglue · · Score: 4, Funny

    Although I've still had to use it in the last couple years for a couple of odd routers.

    --
    https://www.facebook.com/digitizeicm -- Show your support for the digitization of the Iron County Miner newspaper archiv
  4. This cracks me up by microbee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sadly, PS/2 was yet another victim of USB, which doesn't care what you plug into it, the electrical slut.

  5. What about BSD ports? by Anonymous+Crowhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    Netcraft confirmed their obsoletism years ago.

  6. They missed some obvious ones. by ZombieRoboNinja · · Score: 4, Funny

    The MS-DOS port of "Mortal Kombat" comes to mind...

  7. Why is Kryten's groin on the list? by jameskojiro · · Score: 5, Funny

    He is going to built in the future, he is like totally super advanced by today's standards. Can a USB port whisk an omelette? NO! Can a SATA port trim a hedge? NO! Can a PCI-Express port vaccum off the sofa? NO!!!!

    If you want a port that can interface with anything and do almost anything and plug into almost any sort of appliance, just ask Kryten to dry hump it and your wish will be fulfilled!

    --
    Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
  8. for nerds... by nguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    For nerds, it's obviously the "P" (male) and "V" (female) ports that are, for practical purposes, never used and hence obsolete.

    I know, people like to make sure that their "P" port remains gleaming and in good shape by regularly polishing it, but, seriously, give it up guys.

  9. Re:This is going to sound strange... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    I always found that licking the connectors solved most of my problems.

    That's pretty much a good rule of thumb everywhere in life.

  10. Re:Anyone ever rip a running scsi drive out? by OrangeTide · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... and that is the last time Neil was allowed at the data center.

    --
    “Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire
  11. Re:This is going to sound strange... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did you lick the male connectors or the female connectors?

  12. Re:modem port? by BrentH · · Score: 5, Funny

    Which is, considering there's about eight people living in rural north america, a very likely option.

  13. Re:This is going to sound strange... by stonecypher · · Score: 4, Funny

    You know, in some parts of the world, "connector" is a phrase for public bus, which makes that advice ... curious. Then again, in other parts of the world, public bus is a phrase for connector. So whatever.

    --
    StoneCypher is Full of BS
  14. Re:This is going to sound strange... by Mr.+Underbridge · · Score: 4, Funny

    Corollary: if licking on it doesn't help, blowing will. Always good for Nintendo cartridges and...um...other things.