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Many Scientists Using Performance Enhancing Drugs
docinthemachine is one of several readers to send word of a new poll published in Nature showing unprecedented levels of cognitive performance-enhancing drug abuse by top academic scientists. The poll, conducted among subscribers to Nature, surveyed 1,400 scientists from 60 nations (70% from the US). 20% reported using performance-enhancing drugs. Among the drug-using population, 62% used Ritalin, 44% used Provigil, and 15% used beta-blockers like Inderal. Frequency of use was evenly divided among those who used drugs daily, weekly, monthly, and once a year. All such use without a prescription is illegal.
So, will they take away your Nobel if you've been found to use science-enhancing drugs?
By this strange scrawney man with black rimmed glases in a tan trenchcoat wearing sneakers and waving around a metal tool with a blue glowing end.
The man was apparently muttering about some kind of oil that supposedly made the brain work faster or some such nonsense.
His accomplices included a blonde bimbo, a middle aged woman resembling a sturng out housewife, her young ethnic lover, and a poorly put together RC dog.
Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
Does this mean there will be mandatory drug testing at the Science Olympiad?
:^p
Just what was in Albert Einstein's pipe?
And how did Stephen Hawking really end up in that wheelchair?
My confidence is shattered.
-- Insert witty one-liner here. --
What is right and wrong will always be a subjective and philosophical definition.
I don't agree with that in the least.
I have seen the future, and it is inconvenient.
So, *cough* which drug did you use? I have a test coming up...;)
Only if that funding is in direct competition with my own slut-related research.
In today's news, Berry Dexter Bonds was informed that his three Nobel prizes for curing cancer and inventing a practical flying car will be revoked. Drug testing revealed that banned brain-enhancing substances were in his bloodstream just prior the prize ceremony. Testing has been standard procedure for the Nobel ceremonies since it was discovered that the inventor of the brain-enhancing drug, IQtrophine, used it to win a Nobel prize for curing the common cold.
It has also been revealed that Steven Nash of the Phoenix Suns NBA team has been taking brain enhancing drugs to help him make smarter, more accurate ball passes. One side effect is that it stunted his growth. College photos revealed that he used to be taller than Shaquille O'Neal. "I wasn't making it as a center, so I decided to become the Mother of All Point Guards", he said at a news conference.
Table-ized A.I.
I mean, if you learned something from a professor who was under the influence of performance enhancing drugs, do you have to forget it?
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
hell with the drugs, where does he get the threesomes?
Right. Carry on. Glad that's sorted. =)
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
NURSE: Doctor! A driver in full drug overdose and no healthcare plan just hit a homeless man, which one do we repair and who will pay for what?
DOCTOR: Arrrg... too... complicated... need Ritalin to focus...
Yep, we're all screwed!
Actually, I've seen first hand some extremely graphic cases of drug abuse and would classify it a little differently than you have. Just to name a few:
* I've seen beer stored in a warm garage allowed to temperature cycle between 40-100 F daily for weeks on end.
* I've seen pot left out on a tray in a well ventilated area for days allowing it to dry out and taste terrible.
* I've seen the SAME coffee brewed 3-4 days running, eventually creating a brown fluid only slightly resembling the intended substance.
Oh, the humanity...
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
"In general: do your research before taking them, and be really sure you know what you're taking!" Isn't the idea to do your research after you have taken them?
Can you stamp an asterisk on a Nobel Prize?