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What Are the Best Laptop Theft Recovery Measures?

Posted by timothy on from the eternal-vigilance dept.

BarlowBrad writes "Yesterday my house was broken into and among other things two laptops were stolen. Getting past the feeling of violation, I am looking to the future and how to both prevent theft and recover computers should it happen again. I have found various services that claim to track and recover stolen laptops such as LoJack for Laptops, Computrace, GadgetTrak and Undercover, but I (obviously) have no experience with any of them. I also know that Intel will be coming out with a new anti-theft technology chip, but that isn't supposed to come out until the fourth quarter and I'll be replacing the laptops before then. Does Slashdot have a recommendation between these services or suggestions for another?" Read on for a related question about automating this process. BarlowBrad continues: "I have also wondered if there is a 'home brew' solution that I could cook up myself. I'm not an elite programmer, but I am somewhat computer savvy and open to ideas. At least one of the replacement laptops will have to be a Windows machine, but the other may be a Mac or run Linux, so ideally I'd want a solution for multiple platforms. Perhaps a script that sends an email with the IP address every time the computer connects to the internet? Or is there already something out there like that in the Open Source community?"

11 of 376 comments (clear)

  1. Get Creative by explosivejared · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps a script that sends an email with the IP address every time the computer connects to the internet?

    Dude, the scumbag just stole your laptop. Get creative. Instead of just having the a bot or something send you an email so you can identify them, go this route. Have it send an email to a bunch of .mil and .gov addresses that reads like this:

    ALLAH ALLAH!!! I want to NUCLEAR BOMB the white house!!! I have a sleeper cell that already has a plan in place to kidnap beautiful AMERICAN CHILDREN and teach them ISLAM!!! DEATH TO GEORGE BUSH!!!

    You could add in whatever else you feel like. That stuff was just off the top of my head.

    --
    I got a catholic block.
    1. Re:Get Creative by CSMatt · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm pretty sure the submitter wants his laptop back in addition to catching the perpetrator.

    2. Re:Get Creative by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      All fun and games until you forget to disable the app and homeland security shows up at your house.

    3. Re:Get Creative by fm6 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey, let's do this right. The language you use sounds like a prank. The government probably gets hundreds of similar messages every day. You need to troll some Islamist web sites and copy some standard rants. Lots of "in the name of Allah the merciful" and stuff like that.

      Also copy some Arabic text. It doesn't matter what, since very few of our intrepid warriors against terrorism speak any foreign languages. The text could say, "Gilligan's Island reruns (dubbed in Arabic) will appear on Tripoli TV Thursdays at 6" and it will still come across as a hate message from Osama himself.

  2. Re:There are a few solutions by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mod down parentpost, & don't click the link. But that's like saying don't press the red button or don't drink Drano. It is too tempting!

    Want to click, want to click! The link glitters in my monitor. Maybe there are diamonds or a goatse! Want to click, want to click!
  3. Glue by CSMatt · · Score: 5, Funny

    Glue your laptop to your desk. I won't guarantee that it will not get stolen, but it is a lot harder to steal an entire desk than a single laptop.

    1. Re:Glue by Eevee1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yes, I do it all the time with my car. TRY STEALING IT NOW!!

    2. Re:Glue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Better method. Cover your laptop in Goatse stickers. Thieves will pay you to keep it away from them

  4. Re:Laptop Stolen by Baggage Handlers by dattaway · · Score: 5, Funny

    NorthWest Airlines DOES have a web address where you can get your luggage back:

    http://www.ebay.com/

  5. British's laptop theft prevention tactic by British · · Score: 3, Funny

    1. Don't put social security numbers on your laptop. Remember, the more social security numbers that are left on your laptop, the higher chance it will get stolen and make the front page news!

    I've had zero SSNs on my laptops, and they have never been stolen out of my car nor home.

    Just a little tip from your uncle 'der!

  6. Re:Recovery, Not. Denial, Maybe. by karlandtanya · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do both. He said OR, not XOR.

    --
    "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, it doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick