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Florida Judge Smacks Down RIAA

NewYorkCountryLawyer writes "The RIAA is going to have to face the music in Tampa, Florida, and answer the charges of extortion, trespass, conspiracy, unlicensed investigation, and computer fraud and abuse that have been leveled against them there. And the judge delivered his ruling against them in in pretty unceremonious fashion — receiving their dismissal motion last night, and denying the motion this morning. The RIAA's unvarying M.O., when hit with counterclaims, is to make a motion to dismiss them. It did just that in one Tampa case, UMG v. Del Cid, but the judge upheld 5 of the 6 counterclaims. The RIAA quickly settled that one. When a new case came up in the same Tampa courthouse before the very same judge, and the same 5 counterclaims were leveled against the record companies, I opined that 'it is highly unlikely that the RIAA will make a motion to dismiss counterclaims,' since I knew they'd be risking sanctions if they did. Well I guess I underestimated the chutzpah — or the propensity for frivolous motion practice — of the RIAA lawyers, as they in essence thumbed their nose at the judge, making the dismissal motion anyway, telling District Judge Richard A. Lazzara that his earlier decision had been wrong. The judge wasted no time telling the record companies that he did not agree (PDF)."

35 of 301 comments (clear)

  1. Opps by Ceiynt · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hi. I'm the judge in this courtroom. I told your ass to get out of here once. you didn't listen. You came back with the same complaint. Guess what happens. I deny any and all settlement offers you offer to the counter-claimer. I will make it pretty damn clear this time your crap will not be welcome in this courtroom again. Prepare for contempt processes. Oh ya, I'm gonna make sure they put you in the same cell as a guy who likes to steal car steroes.

  2. Mass mailing don't work by techpawn · · Score: 3, Funny

    The same process you use to mass mail your legal complaints can not be used to file your legal responses. This is why fellas. This case is going to get messy *grabs popcorn*

    --
    Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country did to you
  3. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by DanWS6 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Agreed. The RIAA should be allowed to break the law and use illegal practices to bring all those horrible copyright infringer's to swift and brutal justice. The RIAA's clients are literally losing TRILLIONS of dollars to people who are worse than terrorists. Personally I think RIAA should be able to hire mercenaries to rid the earth of such scum.

  4. I know it won't happen... by hyades1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...but if there's a supreme being out there somewhere, I'll agree to start praying to it or sacrificing cans of tuna on its altar or whatever the hell it wants (within reason, of course) if only, please, please, please, there's jail sentences for the bastards at the end of this affair.

    --
    I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    1. Re:I know it won't happen... by Adambomb · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...but if there's a supreme being out there somewhere, I'll agree to start praying to it or sacrificing cans of tuna on its altar or whatever the hell it wants I am already aware of such an entity, in its opinion.

      Too bad it just sits there purring for the most part and is fuzzy, and not so big on the implementation side.
      --
      Ice Cream has no bones.
    2. Re:I know it won't happen... by D+Ninja · · Score: 3, Funny

      Queue: "I'm in ur courtrooms, denying ur lawyers."
      Wish it was Caturday.

  5. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by sm62704 · · Score: 4, Funny

    What's the matter, son, the judge upheld all the counterclaims against you? If you litigate as badly as you troll, you're in deep doo-doo.

    --
    mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
  6. Pop quiz for you litigation buffs out there by NewYorkCountryLawyer · · Score: 5, Funny

    For you litigation buffs out there, let's take a quiz.

    The facts.

    A lawyer just filed a 30-page brief in which he (a) devoted 28 pages to repeating the same arguments he had made in a motion that was decided less than 8 months earlier, and (b) devoted 3 pages to telling the judge that his previous ruling was "wrongly decided".

    Question #1

    What will happen?
    (a) The lawyer will win the motion.
    (b) The lawyer will lose the motion.
    (c) The lawyer will have to find a new line of work.
    (d) Both (b) and (c)

    Question #2

    If you are the client who pays lawyers to do things like that you are
    (a) A smart businessperson
    (b) A moron
    (c) A fool
    (d) Both (b) and (c)

    --
    Ray Beckerman +5 Insightful
    1. Re:Pop quiz for you litigation buffs out there by gnasher719 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You forgot:

      Question #3: You bill your clients

      (a) a small number of hours for the three new pages
      (b) a huge number of hours for writing the same 28 pages again
      (c) cost of copying 28 pages
      (d) all of the above?

    2. Re:Pop quiz for you litigation buffs out there by Kjella · · Score: 3, Funny

      (c) cost of copying 28 pages Billing at cost? Epic fail. And you gave away three pages for free, double epic fail. This also invalidates the best answer, so it should read:

      (c) cost of copying 31 pages, if the copies had been scribed on gold leaves by tibetan monks
      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    3. Re:Pop quiz for you litigation buffs out there by NewYorkCountryLawyer · · Score: 3, Funny

      This one made my day.
      Thanks ! Don't thank me.

      Thank this guy. He provides me with all my best material.
      --
      Ray Beckerman +5 Insightful
    4. Re:Pop quiz for you litigation buffs out there by NewYorkCountryLawyer · · Score: 3, Funny

      I trust argument more than I trust consensus; it's more likely to get us closer to the truth. No it isn't. Yes it is.
      --
      Ray Beckerman +5 Insightful
    5. Re:Pop quiz for you litigation buffs out there by Chris+Burke · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ding!

      Good day!

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
  7. Isn't that a reflex amongst corporate lawyers? by 91degrees · · Score: 3, Funny

    It seems like an automated system. I think the RIAA's legal team has been replaced by a server farm.

    1. Re:Isn't that a reflex amongst corporate lawyers? by prockcore · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe the RIAA could make the claim that it wasn't them that filed the papers, but a neighbor using their unsecured wifi?

  8. Re:Defendants not even asked! by Wandering+Wombat · · Score: 5, Funny

    IANAT, but if that's really the definition of "frivious", my dictionary is missing a word.

    --
    I like to place meaningful quotes in my sig, so people will know that I know what meaningful quotes are.
  9. Re:Defendants not even asked! by RobBebop · · Score: 4, Funny

    As Keith Olbermann reminds viewers of "Countdown" regularly, the technical definition of "insanity" is trying the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

    I've seen that quote attributed to Ben Franklin, but I am sure that Olbermann could have very easily been the originator.

    --
    Support the 30 Hour Work Week!!!
  10. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by n+dot+l · · Score: 5, Funny

    Personally I think RIAA should be able to hire mercenaries to rid the earth of such scum. Are you kidding? Comparing them to terrorists? Mere terrorists?! You want us to use mercenaries?! Christ, next thing you'll be wanting us to liberate them from their evil P2P overlords, or reform them, or stop antagonizing them by meddling in their culture, or something.

    No, these scum are far worse than terrorists; they are a plague, an infectious disease that destroys all it touches. Unrelenting, incurable. Even the courts are at their mercy. Mercenaries are not enough, here. Entire armies are insufficient. Not even the Spanish Inquisition (which nobody expects), could handle this. No, they must be wiped out from orbit, with nukes. It's the only way to be sure.

    Signed,
    The RIAA:
    Creators of the Culture,
    Bearers of the Truth,
    Defenders of the Civilization,
    Champions of Liberty,
    Dearer than Life Itself,
    Dread Rulers of the Abyss (in a good way, we assure you),
    Awesome Enough to Have Many Many Titles,
    Your Beloved Content-Owning Overlords.
  11. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by spun · · Score: 3, Funny

    You wouldn't perchance be that certain talentless hack of a lawyer that NYCL has humiliated before, would you? Maybe you weren't cut out to be a lawyer, you know I hear KFC is hiring.

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
  12. Re:Defendants not even asked! by QMO · · Score: 3, Funny

    . . .trying the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results That's also a very close approximation of the definition of chaos theory.
    --
    Exam 4/C again. Maybe I'll do better this time.
  13. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by Lumpy · · Score: 4, Funny

    You missed the update. The RIAA and poor recording artists are losing Quadrillions of dollars a second. In fact it's so bad that bands are now resorting to cannibalism. Metallica Ate DEO's drummer and bass guitarist. and Nobody has seen Robert Palmer for a few weeks.

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  14. Re:Pfft... by Nullav · · Score: 4, Funny

    131.247.210.* - Guilty by association!

    --
    I just read Slashdot for the articles.
  15. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by Eudial · · Score: 3, Funny

    You wouldn't steal a handbag!
    You wouldn't steal a car!
    You wouldn't steal a baby!
    You wouldn't shoot a policeman, and then steal his helmet!
    You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet, and send it to the policeman's grieving widow, and then steal it again!

    The IT crowd is funneh

    --
    GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
  16. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by Capt.DrumkenBum · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the words of the great philosopher, "Nuke 'em till they glow. Then shoot 'em in the dark."
    Words to live by.

    --
    If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
  17. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by DJProtoss · · Score: 4, Funny

    Metallica Ate DEO's drummer and bass guitarist. and Nobody has seen Robert Palmer for a few weeks. You make these sound like bad things
    --
    "Success is based on knowing how far to go in going too far"
  18. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by Aranykai · · Score: 4, Funny

    My mom always called that "selective hearing". Apparently, all the men in the family suffer from it severely.

    --
    If sharing a song makes you a pirate, what do I have to share to be a ninja?
  19. Re:In the End, It Doesn't Matter by dargon · · Score: 3, Funny

    Please don't give them any more lousy ideas, they come up with enough of them on their own, they don't need your help.

  20. Re:I'm curious by lord+sibn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, but they are lawyers. By definition, they not only deserve it, they have *earned* it. ;)

  21. Re:Not unsual at all. by NewYorkCountryLawyer · · Score: 4, Funny

    He means your posts exude smug epicaricacy. I don't necessarily agree, but that's the gist of it. Thanks for the clarification. I don't know why he couldn't say it in plain English like you did.

    Well if I'm accused of feeling pleasure over the RIAA's misfortune, I am guilty as charged.
    --
    Ray Beckerman +5 Insightful
  22. Re:Defendants not even asked! by Artifakt · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm perfectly trasmodic with antipipulation over 'frivious' myself. For a definition, how about "Frivious (Adj.): Any condition both frivolous and trivial.". Since those two words already have substantial but not complete overlap, frivious is very useful for excluding the borderline cases. Now if we just had a word, as the Germans do, for the overlap between sarcasm and irony. (Harlanellisonkeit).

    --
    Who is John Cabal?
  23. Re:More pro-piracy bullshit by Gewalt · · Score: 3, Funny

    It takes years of training to master that skill.

    --
    Modding Trolls +1 inciteful since 1999
  24. Oh, come on by commodoresloat · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Frivious" is a perfectly cromulent word!

  25. Re:Oops by Eivind · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's hardly a smart move to annoy the judge. This is a pretty accurately aimed footbullet.

  26. Re:Oops by MacWiz · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Hardly a smart move" could be the RIAA's secret motto.

  27. Re:I'm curious by JosKarith · · Score: 3, Funny

    "What they did here was flagrantly incompetent. This surprises you? ;)" Yeah - I expected them to be fragrantly incontinent. Talk about taking the pi55...

    --
    'Don't worry' said the trees when they saw the axe coming, 'The handle is one of us.'