A Guardian Angel In Your Cell Phone

theodp writes "Bill Gates and Ray Ozzie are listed as inventors of the Guardian Angel, which is described in a most unusual Microsoft patent application that should intrigue privacy advocates. In addition to protecting you from possibly diseased people, by detecting body temperatures, the Guardian Angel's 'monitoring component can take note of the number of conversations occurring in a room (and more specifically, a breakdown of the types of people in the room accompanied by a warning for dangerous persons, based on sex offender registration, FBI most wanted, etc.).' The versatile Guardian Angel, Microsoft notes, can also recommend restaurants, advise you on the appropriateness of your jokes, detect that your heartbeat has stopped, display targeted ads on billboards, and block spam."

Comments

Wait, what?

[evanbd]

It displays targetted ads on billboards *and* blocks spam? Aren't those mutually exclusive?

Re:Wait, what?

[Mprx]

The only possible reason you could want more relevant spam is because you might buy spammed products. This encourages spammers and makes the internet a worse place for everybody.

Re:Wait, what?

[kunwon1]

I don't think you can blame people for buying a product that they found out about through spamvertisement, if it's something they wanted. What are you supposed to do? Look at the message and say "Gee actually I was thinking about buying one of those, that one looks perfect, but since they spamvertised it to me, I refuse to buy it." Sounds a little childish and stubborn.
Sounds a little like voting with your wallet.

Re:WTF?

[Anonymous Coward]

"WTF" was precisely the first thing that came into my head as I read the description. Are these guys for real?

Exactly the problem with patents

[Jimmy_B]

This is certainly a neat concept. However, no one has made one - including the patenters. It won't be possible to make one until a lot of technologies have improved (especially battery technology).

Since it's impossible to make, there can't be prior art. Since it's being patented before it *could* be made, it never will be made. This is a very common, very ridiculous occurrence.

Re:WTF?

[mrbluze]

[It can] detect that your heartbeat has stopped

Oh thanks. And am I going to be conscious when it tells me that? Talk about BSOD!

Nobody is going to be walking around with freakin' defibrillator pads on their chest and a Microsoft Guardian Angel in their pocket.

Just wait for the blue screen...

[Taelron]

As it is I have a Windows Mobile "not-so" Smartphone from my work. Just like a PC I have to power it off or pull the battery and reboot it periodically or it acts up and crashes...

If this ever gets made I can just see the news storys and lawsuits... Family sues Microsoft after daughters murder... Daughters Guardian Angel bluesceened while on a date with a serial murderer... Details at 11...

And if its polling information on everyone you are around, just exactly what information is it sending about you back to Microsoft?

Hmmm

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

So, it can display targeted advertisements and block spam? How long before it chokes on its contradictory orders and eliminates all humans?

In all seriousness, though, we have got to do something about the "if it moves, advertise at it; if it doesn't move, advertise on it" culture we have growing. At this rate, the first people with mind control rays won't be the CIA spooks, it'll be Brainpoint Concepts Media, inc. and Your Dreams(tm), brought to you by Ambitrex.

Inventors?

[rastoboy29]

Why grace them with the title "inventors", when they haven't actually made the thing.  They are science fiction writers, or futurists, at best.

And since the thing is only an idea at this stage, does that make science fiction stories with similar ideas prior art?  My God what a mess the patent system is right now...nuke it.

Bunk

[camperdave]

SPAM is not so much a problem because of what it is...

No, it is a problem because it is exactly what it is: Unsolicited messages. TV and Radio commercials are not spam. When I watch TV, I am not paying for the show. When I listen to the radio, I am not paying for the music. I get these feeds free because I am willing to listen to the ads on some level. Newspapers are partially subsidized by the ads, and some are completely subsidized. In all these cases, I get paid something for my attention.

My inbox (and my phone for that matter) is a different thing, though. *I* pay for that communication channel, not the advertisers. It is supposed to be for my private use. If my ISP offered some sort of discount based on the number of ads I have to cope with, then fine. Until that happens, spam is a leeching evil blight. (Well, all ads are pretty much leeching evil blights, but spam is especially so, but with puss, and foul odours on top of it.)

Spam, and telemarketing should be made illegal.