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IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops

Posted by kdawson on from the hands-off dept.

theodp writes "You can still leave your handprint in cement at Grauman's Chinese Theater. But as of Tuesday, you best not do the same on a laptop, lest you infringe on IBM's new patent for the Portable Computer with a Hand Impression, an 'invention' that Big Blue explains makes balancing the portable computer on a user's hand easier."

12 of 141 comments (clear)

  1. This is a great idea by Lostlander · · Score: 3, Funny

    I think I'm going to patent a process by which a footprint is left in a SiO2 water suspension and used for tracing the location of an individual.

  2. Looks at his Laptop... by hyperz69 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sees handprints all over it's exterior.

    Oh crap, I hope IBM will lease the technology to me cheaply ;\

  3. Re:what next? by xpuppykickerx · · Score: 3, Funny

    but what if you want to go lefty and pretent it's someone else?

  4. Exactly by JonTurner · · Score: 2, Funny

    Makes me want to patent an impression of my boot in the rear end of the reviewer who approved this patent.

  5. Re:what next? by db32 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think if you are putting digit imprints you probably don't have a girl to worry about as that particular body part is already shaped correctly for it's corresponding girl part. The digit imprints would clearly be for those who lack access to the corresponding girl part.

    --
    The only change I can believe in is what I find in my couch cushions.
  6. The next big invention... by imyy4u3 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...a biometric laptop that is "ergonomically designed" for being "carried" on your "lap" while looking at porn. It is called the Magnum Laptop for the big boys, and the Tiny Laptop in China.

  7. Re:I don't get it... by dreamchaser · · Score: 5, Funny

    I agree. IBM deserves a hand for this. I'm sure it will leave a lasting impression on the laptop market.

  8. Re:just another take... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    What if I really, really want a question? Pretty please with sugar on top?

  9. Re:How about a lap impression? by realisticradical · · Score: 3, Funny

    Daddy, why is there a hole in your laptop?

  10. Insensitive bastards! by DaveV1.0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't have a hand. I have a flipper!

    --
    There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
  11. Re:What if by Smallpond · · Score: 3, Funny

    Then IBM would have to redesign with smaller sensors.

  12. Balance on hand? Who cares? by PPH · · Score: 3, Funny

    First one to the patent office with the laptop with two kneecap impressions on the bottom wins the big bucks!

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.