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Moving Between Countries?
An anonymous reader writes "In six months' time, I am packing up and moving from Australia (Melbourne) to Canada (Vancouver). I'm a qualified network engineer. What I want to know is, what sort of quirks and tricks I am going to have to get used to in the Canadian job market? I'm used to Australian recruiters, and all the hoops you have to jump through, but Canada may have different hoops. I've tried contacting recruiters directly for information but they don't really give out much, as I am not actually in the country yet and therefore not worth their time. Is anyone willing to share their experiences on making the big move from country to country?"
They are known to drop from the trees and surprise foreigners with deadly force.
... and then they built the supercollider.
Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
This is a very vague comment about broads...
He's probably a lawyer, looking for work.
Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
I've moved countries too, a couple of times. I've found the best technique is to arm yourself with a good sense of humour then stumble your way into the country making snap decisions as you go. I mean c'mon! You wanna suck all the fun out of it??
Oh, get a local girlfriend as quick as you can, that usually clears up any minor details you missed on your first pass.
Bonne chance!
- X has been employed by us - X has been the cause for a disaster that we don't want to talk about and we have 'suggested' that he ended the employment.
- X has been working for us during N years. - X has been the cause for several near disasters during the years he has been working for us.
- X has been doing a good job - X is not a very remarkable person, neither good or bad. (average joe)
- X has been doing a very good job - X doesn't produce disasters, and delivers a bit above average without any real surprises.
- X has been doing an excellent job - We would recommend you to employ X, but don't pay him too much!
- X has been doing an outstanding job - You are stupid if you don't employ X.
- X has been a cornerstone in our company. - We are fu*d stupid to let him have reasons to leave us.
And in general - if an old employer gives incorrect references that can come back to bite them really hard, so that is very seldom a problem.If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
Richard dies and his soul is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Welcome Richard," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We are not able to dig information related to you and we don't seem to know what to do with you. Why not go around and have a look at heaven and hell both, before we find about you."
So Richard decides to have a look at heaven. It is whitish, full of saintly decent people, talking about all good and nice things. Richard got bored very fast.
He decides to have a look at hell, and to his surprise, hell is full of beaches, nice beautiful chicks in bikini moving around, Malls, restaurants, flyovers, gardens, maple trees...it almost looked like Canada.
Richard comes back and before he could spell his choice, St Peter says, "You have been brought here by mistake. You still have 7 days of life to enjoy on earth."
Richard goes back happily on earth and returns after 7 days. St Peter welcomes him and says, "You have been pretty decent guy on earth. You have choice to make. Where would you like to go? Heaven or hell?" Without hesitation, Richard chooses hell.
St. Peter decides to check on Richard after 6 months. He found Richard in shock and misery. St Peter wants to know what happened with him. Richard looks deep in space and says "I am jobless, and have no credit cards. I got some temporary job but paid heavy taxes. Nobody would give me credit cards. I can see chicks but can't touch them. Last 6 months I have found myself frustrated beyond you could imagine.".
After gaining some control of himself, Richard looks at St Peter, and asks "When I came here first, I wished I was here forever. Why am I frustrated now?". St Peter smiles and says, "That time you were on visitor visa. Now you are landed immigrant."
hilarious
When we called to get the reference of a new woman, her old place of employment went on and on about how great she was. Turns out, they forgot how great of an employee was. They offered her old job to her at a higher pay.
Not a Twitter sockpuppet... but I wish I was.
Here in the UK the reputation of some of the nationalities can be summed up as follows:
Aussies - Loud, but nothing you can't deal with, borderline alcoholics, willing to get the job done as soon as. Frequently complain about the weather
South Africans - Loud, arrogant sods - Why did they all leave to come and work in 'this rainy shithole' - you'll never get a straight answer. Can also be spotted by the conversation starter of "Wheneyes" as in "Wheneyes back in Cape Town"
Kiwis - Often mistaken for Aussies, but eventually their inability to stop stroking woollen garments comes to the fore.
Brits - Lazy, opinionated, unfit, wondering why we work 40 hrs a week when we could have sat on the dole instead.
You also can't call yourself a software architect - architect is another regulated profession.
Besides, when someone at a party asks you what you do for a living, which is the cooler answer:
As for the network engineer, if you're foolish enough to admit to it at a party, you're going to have everyone asking you why their DSL service is so shitty and what you can do to help them. Better off telling everyone you're a pimp, politician, or lawyer (but I'm being redundant).
And also:
X has been given a office desk in the basement - Sometime in the past we decided to discontinue X's employment, but the request never made it through to HR.
Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
The Concise Guide
Number One
Don't say 'oot and aboot' that's just stupid. And if you looked at that and thought those should have been double quotes, I'd hire you.
Number Two
Canadian girls are easy except in Toronto Montreal Calgary Vancouver St John St Johns Halifax Quebec City Gander and lets see where else have I lived...
Number Three
There is one city called St. John and another one called St Johns nobody knows which is which
Number Four
Pants are expected to be worn at work
Number Six
Math skills are important for getting a job
Number Seven
Is a nice number. Too bad that movie had to ruin it for me
Number Three Redux
I just looked it up and St John is where they actually do say oot and aboot
Number Five
Better late than never
Number Eight
Montreal has potholes and Toronto has that smell so take your pick. In Calgary, bring your own cardboard box to live in. Vancouver has a commuter train that takes you into the middle of the woods.
Number Nine
Saskatchewan is flat because the 6000 kph winds blew all the hills into Lake Superior
Number Ten
There are lots of high tech jobs in Ottawa but the only thing to do there in your spare time is laugh at Corel's office building.
Equine Mammals Are Considerably Smaller
- RG>
Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
step 4 throw back out shoveling driveway and wipe out on black ice while checking your mail =)
Canada? Computers? When did that happen.