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Microsoft Seeks Patent On Brain-Based Development

Posted by timothy on from the patent-on-defying-parody dept.

theodp writes "With its just-published patent application for Developing Software Components Based on Brain Lateralization, Microsoft provides yet another example of just how broken the patent system is. Microsoft argues that its 'invention' of having a Program Manager act as an arbitrator/communicator between a group of right-brained software users and left-brained software developers mimics 'the way that the brain communicates between its two distinct hemispheres.' One of the 'inventors' is Ray Ozzie's Technical Strategist. If granted, the patent could be used to exclude others from making, using, or selling the 'invention' for 17 years."

19 of 173 comments (clear)

  1. BOFH by AnotherBrian · · Score: 4, Funny

    So they just patented the concept of a manager. I really hope Microsoft enforces this one.

    1. Re:BOFH by l0cust · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hey! Continue ffs! I have tissues ready and who cares about some microsoft patents anyway..

      --
      Politicians and Pedophiles: Two groups of exploitive bastards who are most dangerous when they're thinking of children.
  2. You say that as if it's a bad thing by JonTurner · · Score: 5, Funny

    If granted, the patent could be used to exclude others from making, using, or selling the 'invention' for 17 years
    Not sure I understand your point of view on this one. I consider any legal device that prohibits selling software like Microsoft's to be worthy of praise.
    1. Re:You say that as if it's a bad thing by AsmCoder8088 · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...Might as well patent "bi pedal motion", sue everyone in the world and get it over with.

      Except that would only affect people with two legs, not everyone.

    2. Re:You say that as if it's a bad thing by arotenbe · · Score: 2, Funny

      ...Might as well patent "bi pedal motion", sue everyone in the world and get it over with. Except that would only affect people with two legs, not everyone. Yeah, people could avoid being sued by crawling around all day instead of walking.
      --
      Tomato wedge sperm darts that are Republican.
  3. Maybe... by MrKaos · · Score: 5, Funny

    The left brain doesn't know what the right brain is doing at Microsoft.

    --
    My ism, it's full of beliefs.
  4. How telling, and how sad by Eternal+Vigilance · · Score: 4, Funny

    How sad that Microsoft considers metric-driven software development that connects users and developers a new invention. :-(

    "At Microsoft, these two halves of the brain come together in the colon."

  5. Wrong title by gmuslera · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft should seek patent on brain-damaged development. At least with that one they will have the monopoly on prior art.

  6. Microsoft Seeks Patent On Brain-Based Development by hidannik · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...which is a significant improvement over our established posterior-based development process.

  7. This must be patentable... by Genda · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think anyone who reads the article can plainly see that Microsoft has apparently invented a nearly perfect process for blowing their smoke up someones else's ass... I believe this makes them the proud inventors of the remote smoked ham... Bravo Gentlemen!

  8. When they market it... by icebike · · Score: 1, Funny

    Will it finally mean you can have a meaningful conversation with a Mac user which does not include chanting the mantra about how easy the Mac is to use because it only has one button on the mouse?

    --
    Sig Battery depleted. Reverting to safe mode.
  9. Two degrees of separation... by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 4, Funny
    invention ... mimics 'the way that the brain communicates between its two distinct hemispheres'

    Microsoft can pry my Corpus Callosum from my cold, dead brain. I think either God can claim or Darwin can demonstrate some sort of prior art here. Just need to schedule a court appearance for one of them...

    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
  10. A idea by ozonearchitect · · Score: 3, Funny

    They need to patent their OS releases... it mimics the way a human being takes a dump.

  11. Re:The patent office - retarding development? by something_wicked_thi · · Score: 4, Funny

    > Cheap +5 Insightful: just say "All Americans suck because {insert generalization here}"

    All Americans suck because all generalizations are false.

  12. Re:Metric? by Eternal+Vigilance · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, it certainly confirms their usual methodology is to just pound it out. ;-)

    "I'm nearly two kilometers tall."

  13. Prior Art. by mikelieman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Tom Smykowski: Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

    --
    Technology -- No Place For Wimps! Grateful Dead and Jerry Garcia Chatroom -- http://www.wemissjerry.org
  14. Re:It's even funnier by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The people who posted the ad must be missing a few numbers for their patent. Using the patent number supplied you get a patent issued Jan 17 1888.

  15. Re:Karma Bedamned! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    You have a hotmail email address.

  16. Prior Art by dreamchaser · · Score: 2, Funny

    I am prior art, having served as a Program Manager on various occaisions. I would like to see them sue me over my resume.