Robots Aim To Top Humans At Air Hockey

An anonymous reader writes "You probably knew that the Deep Blue supercomputer beats chess masters, and that last weekend a software robot defeated four poker champions. But you may have missed this one: a GE Fanuc robot is taking on humans at air hockey. The robot is powered by a special PC-board that can instantly switch between 8-bit and its 32-bit modes. The 8-bit version lost to most human players, but the 32-bit microcontroller has defeated even the best human air hockey players by a ratio of three to one."

Comments

The only real sport

[Anonymous Coward]

I won't be worried until computers start to beat us at bear pong.

Re:The only real sport

[Spudtrooper]

How is a robot supposed to get a bear to stand still and open its mouth to throw in a ping pong ball?

Re:The only real sport

[Broken Toys]

Bear pong?

Squirrel pong, sure; monkey pong, any day; but bear pong? That's where I draw the line.

Re:The only real sport

[SomeJoel]

Good thing you cleared that up, I thought it meant hitting a grizzly back and forth across a table.

Re:The only real sport

[electricbern]

if that was the case I'm sure robots would be able to beat us quite easily.

Re:The only real sport

[WinPimp2K]

I don't know about bears and open mouths, but I'm sure the Japanese are working on a robot that can beat all human challengers at tonsil hockey.

Re:The only real sport

[Anonymous Coward]

And thanks for demonstrating the neurological effects of playing beer pong.

Actually, to be fair, it's very likely that similar malfunctions are also the cause of playing beer pong. Researchers originally thought that positive feedback was initiated by "pledging" a social fraternity/sorority, but it now seems most likely that "pledging" is itself but a symptom of a congenital defect.

The evolutionary advantage for the species is obvious: when defective organisms have a tendency to clump together and disable their higher cognitive functions en masse by imbibing excessive quantities of ethanol, then they can be easily eliminated through mass extermination.

However, there is associated risk: if extermination fails, the defectives may begin interbreeding, thus evolving a subspecies, supertards, which may begin undermining the species' broader social organization, due to the supertards' natural inclination for the lowest-skilled activities---business management, marketing, politics---which are, terrifyingly, activities with great potential for reducing the overall species' quality of life if not bounded and carefully monitored by more intelligent organisms.

The results of careless monitoring could be disastrous. In a "perfect storm" scenario, where the supertards are allowed to impress their opinions upon large groups via mass communication and positions of power, then humanity's classical value system could actually be inverted! Imagine, a world where sports, entertainment, and consumerism are deemed more important than science, philosophy, and art! Where responsibility is shunned, work avoided, and a sense of entitlement the rule! Where xenophobia is disguised as religion, and religion derided by faux-scientific antireligion! Where film actors, instead of being recognized as glorified circus clowns, are given society's highest respect & obsessive admiration! Where full-time sportsman, instead of being mocked for wasting their lives, are beloved "heroes" whose salary is greater than the aggregate salaries of entire university faculties! Where conspicuous consumption is a substitute for cultural tradition! Where public schools are run by political committees and unions! Where the front page of Yahoo! recounts last night's television schedule alongside news of war and natural disaster! I could go on, but why? You see the horrors we could face if the extermination of supertards were to be forgotten.

I certainly hope that never happens.

Re:The only real sport

[exley]

I was going to use a mod point here but there's no "+1 Probably True" option.

Re:The only real sport

[wideBlueSkies]

Donkey Pong?

Re:The only real sport

[Majik Sheff]

You, sir, just won the internet.

Unfortunately you forgot to log in, so your prize goes back into the pool.

Futurama

[Anonymous Coward]

Bender: Now, Wireless Joe Jackson, there was a blern-hitting machine.
Leela: Exactly. He was a machine designed to hit blerns.

pfft eight bits to lose?

[way2trivial]

I refuse to be impressed.

I can create a 2 bit air hockey robot that will lose to everyone but Butters!

Re:Boring...

[Hoi Polloi]

Do you really want robots out there who can check you into the boards and beat you in a fight?

Re:Boring...

[mr_mischief]

I'll be worried when they can beat us at Dodge the EMP Blast.

If this is'nt skynet....

[TornCityVenz]

This must be one of the best ways to get a research grant to pay for an air hockey table I've ever heard.

Can this be a good idea?

[idontgno]

First they're beating us at chess, then at air hockey... pretty soon they're rolling around yelling "EX..TER..MI..NATE", disintegrating us, and avoiding staircases.

This is how the human race ends, mark my words.

(Yeah, I know, the Daleks are supposed to be cyborgs. Roll with it, it's supposed to be a joke.)

Computer needed at all?

[CthulhuDreamer]

Wouldn't just setting the arm to oscillate in an arc in front of the the goal at a few thousand rpm make scoring against it impossible? (Not to mention the 200mph random rebounds coming off a blocked shot?)

Re:I for one welcome...

[snowgirl]

I for one welcome our meme-devising robotic overlords.

Re:Unrealistic Competition

[DirePickle]

I don't think I'd want to play foosball against a robot. Imagine how hard a robot would be able to jam the pole into your junk when he grabbed the wrong handle.

better uses

[zazelite]

Good work, GE boffins. It warms my cockles to see our best minds conquer one more idle pastime that robots hadn't already been programmed for. When the Japanese finally achieve their ultimate goal of an android with functional genitals, those air-hockey robots will be left playing with themselves.

Re:Boring...

[scottrocket]

Only if they're fembots - ooooh

Re:Seems like this would be trivial...

[Kingrames]

I'll let your argument stand, but only because Federer lost.

You're getting off easy.