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Spam King and Family Dead In Murder-Suicide
Lt.Hawkins was one of many readers sending in word that the escaped spam king discussed yesterday was found dead in Colorado, after apparently killing his wife and 3-year-old daughter. A teenager was injured, and an infant was found alive in the car.
spam kills
SpamAssassin
The way to corrupt a youth is to teach him to hold in higher value them who think alike than those who think differently
"Attention: You are now escaping. Please turn back immediately."
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You're just jealous because he went one better than you. Right, Hans?
Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
As an atheist, it does make me wish there really was a hell for guys like this.
The christians have it so easy sometimes :)
He got tired of having his box filled with unsolicited male?
(Shamelessly stolen from Fark)
I always say that I'd like to meet the Atheist who doesn't say "god damn it" or "go to hell," and he lesbian that doesn't use a dildo... but they both seem to be very elusive specimens.
if only he had used canadian antidepressants! I am sure I could find the mail somewhere which had extremely good rates from a company called International Pharmacy.
Well, "Flying Spaghetti Monster damn it!" doesn't really roll off the tongue that well, plus he's not as much into fire and damnation. So, you know, it would end up a bit on par with, "Dear Enemy, I curse you and hope something slightly unpleasant happens to you. Like an onion falling on your head."
And the Invisible Pink Unicorn is too cute to be taken seriously when it comes to damning, so that one's out of the question too.
Tooth fairy? I suppose she could get scary if you speak with your head under your pillow, but a damnation that depends on that is kinda unreliable.
Santa Claus? What's he going to do if he damns you? Bring you a lump of coal? With the prices of energy lately, being damned by Santa might actually be a blessing these days, if you know what I mean.
So, you know, as non-existent personifications go, the Christian god wins hands down. Now _that_ guy can damn properly. It still doesn't mean we _believe_ in him, but he's the right non-existent guy for the job.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
I spent a week in a loony bin myself once. We had the same problem with the cards. Apparently nobody in there ever played with a full deck...(wait for it)...
Never argue with a man carrying a water buffalo
Ok. But what about the plastic cock?
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Do I detect the start of a new /. meme?
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Canadian antidepressants tend to require the use of an inordinate amount of Visine and Oreos, he may not have had ready access to these suppliments.
I, for one, am sorry to hear about Spam King's passing. I never read any of his books, but I watched "The Shining" once on TV. America has lost one of its most prolific horror writers. ....
What? Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
Like the old blond joke, eh?
Blond comes home, finds her husband in bed with another woman. She bursts into tears, pulls a gun from the bureau, and points it at her head. The husband shouts, "No, don't shoot!" The blond replies "Shut up! You're next!"
If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
I've worked in telemarketing. About half of them are just regular schmoes, but the other half, well, let's just say that if they were suicidal, you wouldn't expect them to stick a gun in their mouth at home, they'd more likely bring it in to work first and "share".
You were happy when I brought in donuts for everybody. Now I bring in bullets to share and you're upset? Geeze, people are so flighty and fickle, such hypocrites, sometimes it just makes me want to snap!
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