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The Ridiculous LexisNexis Search that the Justice Department Used

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the your-government-ruining-america dept.

jamie writes "The politicization of Bush's Justice Department, which this week was officially determined to be illegal, has a funny side too. Sometime in 2005-2006, White House Liaison Jan Williams attended a seminar on LexisNexis searches, and wrote one herself. When she left, she passed it on to her successor Monica Goodling in an email. Justin Mason, author of SpamAssassin, is skeptical about its accuracy:

[First name of a candidate]! and pre/2 [last name of a candidate] w/7 bush or gore or republican! or democrat! or charg! or accus! or criticiz! or blam! or defend! or iran contra or clinton or spotted owl or florida recount or sex! or controvers! or racis! or fraud! or investigat! or bankrupt! or layoff! or downsiz! or PNTR or NAFTA or outsourc! or indict! or enron or kerry or iraq or wmd! or arrest! or intox! or fired or sex! or racis! or intox! or slur! or arrest! or fired or controvers! or abortion! or gay! or homosexual! or gun! or firearm!

Needless to say, when asked about it, Williams first said she didn't remember ever seeing it, then said she'd used an edited version just once. LexisNexis records show she used it, as shown, 25 times." Note that 'sex!' appears twice in the query. Must be VERY important.

12 of 589 comments (clear)

  1. spotted owl? by Carthag · · Score: 4, Funny

    what the hell

    1. Re:spotted owl? by Oh+no,+it's+Dixie · · Score: 5, Funny

      Spotted Owl Party members are among the most dangerous people to have in the DOJ. If allowed into the DOJ, they will do everything in their power to preserve the environment and wellbeing of this bird, no matter what the financial or human cost.

    2. Re:spotted owl? by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny

      George Bush criticiz nafta for spotted owl gay sex with firearms

      --

      I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

    3. Re:spotted owl? by Dancindan84 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Can't be too careful. What if there was an article in the Times about Iran using aborted, homosexual, spotted owls to smuggle WMD in a plot to cover up Enron? You'd look silly if you weren't "in the know"

      --
      "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde
    4. Re:spotted owl? by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

      Not really surprising. Spotted owls are notoriously poor prosecutors. They also have a well-known bias against rats and other vermin, making them unsuitable for political work.

    5. Re:spotted owl? by Frizzle+Fry · · Score: 4, Funny

      ya rly

      --
      I'd rather be lucky than good.
    6. Re:spotted owl? by gnick · · Score: 5, Funny

      My clock is digital with 1 minute resolution and is set ~30 seconds slow. It's right 1440 times a day - Try that trick with a broken clock.

      You insensitive clod.

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
  2. Oblig. Life of Brian by InvisblePinkUnicorn · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Sex, sex, sex, that's all they think about!"

    1. Re:Oblig. Life of Brian by pla · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Sex, sex, sex, that's all they think about!"

      Well, in fairness, "arrest" and "intox" also appear twice... So they also care about getting drunk and enjoying a bit of the ol' ultraviolence...

  3. Re:The spotted owl is a shibboleth. by Intron · · Score: 5, Funny

    Whereas anyone who said "To hell with the Republicans!" was probably a Spotted Owl.

    --
    Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
  4. Re:Yes, you hate George Bush ... by sqrt(2) · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...the damage good ole [President Bill Clinton]...did to us

    8 years of peace and prosperity ending with a budget surplus?

    --
    If you build it, nerds will come. Soylentnews.org
  5. Re:The problem is the US is a two party state by Random+BedHead+Ed · · Score: 4, Funny

    Disclaimer: I am not a political scientist, and thus can only write from my observations as a lay person. The above statements are IMHO only.

    That's a very short and limited disclaimer. Any casual Slashdot reader could easily take your observation about the shortcomings of parliaments and apply it in the real world with terrible consequences, and you would be liable. Might I suggest:

    Disclaimer: The posting Slashdot user ("the author") who authored the above electronic nested web comment ("the comment") being read by you ("the reader") is not and has never in any previous capacity been a political scientist or professional political pundit, nor has he/she assisted any persons occupying these or similar occupations. His/her comment is provided "as is" with no warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of reliability and fitness for a political purpose. The entire risk as to the quality and veracity of the comment is with the reader. The author posted the comment purely as the observations of a lay person ("IMHO") and should not be construed as a wholehearted endorsement of any political proposal that may or may not have been included within it.