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Microsoft's Open Source Guru Faces Tough Fight
coondoggie writes "Microsoft's Sam Ramji is like a turkey knocking on Thanksgiving's door. Ramji has the unenviable task of stretching his neck out into the open source world as Microsoft's representative. On top of it, his employer has preheated the oven with years of hubris, sleights of hand and broken promises.
Ramji's Sisyphean task was evident last week in Portland at the Open Source Conference (OSCon) and will likely be fuel for chatter at next week's LinuxWorld gathering in San Francisco."
1 - Getting Started
The female dog normally comes on her first heat between the ages of nine and
fifteen months. Attempting intercourse with her at this time is not
recommended since these changes in her biochemistry are confusing enough
without having you trying to do wierd things to her. I would strongly
suggest waiting untilher second heat if all appears normal.
2 - The right bitch for you
As a rule of thumb, a dog the size of your average German Shepherd Dog is
large enough to comfortably accomodate your average sized human male.
However, this is not always true. I will go into further detail about signs
of discomfort and warning signs later. Saint Bernards, Great Danes,
Newfoundlands and other huge breeds should have no problems accomodating
a human male.
3 - Prepararation is the key!
In preparing to have sex with your dog, you'll need to run down to the local :); and lastly, MilkBones! Buy these with everything :)
drug store and pick up a few things. Namely; KY Jelly, (do NOT use a petro-
leum or oil based lubricant.). Wet and Astro Glide, both of which can be
found at your local adult shop, work as well. Also, if you're near a
medical or veterinary supply, surgical lubricants are good too; latex gloves.
If you're going to be messing around with a stray dog or a dog you do not
own it doesn't hurt to rubber up! You can get infections or a fever from
bitches with vaginal infections or brucellosis, (see the 'Zoophilia and Your
Health' PIP for more information on this topic); condoms. If sharing a dog
or picking up a stray, protect yourself. Although dogs do not carry AIDS,
it has been theorized that the virus could survive long enough inside a
bitches' vagina long enough for you to contract it, or anything else, if
you have sex with her immediately after an infected person. Remember also
that if she has a yeast or bacterial infection, you could get it too;
surgical soap. If you know the bitch is in good health and you'd like to
insert whatever strikes your fancy into her, I recommend you clean it
thoroughly. A bitches' vagina is a very vascular area and, especially when
in heat, is quite susceptable to infection; nail clippers. Nails could
carry dirt on them or scratch the delicate inner lining of a bitches'
vagina. Cut them nails down and file them. You'll also look stunning with
your new manicure
else if you really want to squick the counter people
4 - In the trenches
Once you've got your bitch and your supplies, it's time to get to work. I :) The bitches' "clitoris"
do not suggest attempting sex with a bitch out of season, especially if she
is not your dog. You may wind up getting bit, which may mean changing your
name to John Wayne Bobbitt. A bitch in heat is your best bet, but just
because she's wet and smells nice doesn't mean she's 'in the mood.' How
can you tell if she's in the mood? Check the discharge. The discharge of
a bitch in 'Standing Heat' should be pinkish / creamy white. This cycle
lasts for between seven and nine days and is in the middle of the complete
heat cycle.
If the discharge is a dark, blood red, she's just coming into or going out
of heat. It never hurts to try but DO NOT force her. She may say no the
first time. Bitches are known to tease and may jump forward or fall over
in front of you. However, if she reacts hostily to you, STOP IMMEDIATELY.
Definate signs that a bitch is receptive are; Flagging--raising of the tail
over the back exposing the genitals, Soliciting--rubbing her butt in your
crotch, sitting on your face, etcetera, and Play Posing--being excessively
playful, jubilant, etcetera.
Once you're both consenting, you may consider some foreplay. Fingering her
will bring you both hours of joy and amusement
is located about 3/4-1" (in large breeds) into the vagina. The clitoral
ridge is fairly prominant so ea
I use NeoOffice instead of MS Office.
Have you given OOov3 a try? It's still beta 2 as of now, but I personally like it better than NeoOffice; the only thing that crashed on me was their database software; everything else seems quite stable.
*nawcom prepares to be modded Off-topic by grumpy moderators*
http://openoffice.bouncer.osuosl.org/?product=OpenOffice.org&os=macosxintelaqua&lang=en-US&version=3.0.0beta2