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Towards an Exercise Pill
aztektum among many other readers sent us news that medical researchers have developed two drugs that can build muscle tone in mice without exercise. While such an advance may inspire dreams of a "couch potato pill," the article mostly talks about other medical uses, should the drugs prove safe and effective in humans. The doctor in charge of the research is working with sports authorities to develop a test to detect the drugs in athletes. "Researchers at the Salk Institute in San Diego reported that they had found two drugs that did wonders for the athletic endurance of couch potato mice. One drug, known as Aicar, increased the mice's endurance on a treadmill by 44 percent after just four weeks of treatment. A second drug, GW1516, supercharged the mice to a 75 percent increase in endurance but had to be combined with exercise to have any effect. 'It's a little bit like a free lunch without the calories,' said Dr. Ronald M. Evans, leader of the Salk group."
Stand in line for a pill to make me muscular, or stand in line for the new iPhone?
At least the iPhone won't leave me as soon as I talk.
How do you get the couch potatoes to the pharmacy in the first place?
How much does the pill weigh? You can damn well bet I am not going to move my hand to pick up more than 8-10 grams.
Like the Grinch?
Taxation is legalized theft, no more, no less.
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Never in history has there ever been a better time to be a mouse!
Once they develop pills for big dicks, fashion sense, personality, and odor elimination, Linux development will cease!
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
Thing is, steroids aren't exactly without side effects. Forcing every MLB player to take steroids isn't a good solution. (But, you still haven't solved your problem - how are you going to force every player to take the same AMOUNT of the required steroids?)
That said, Bruce Banner did this, like, a million years ago. Changes user color to green. Incompatible with mood stabilizers. Lame.
DATABASE WOW WOW
I want a pill that will improve critical thinking skills! And logical reasoning ability!
And while we are at it, lets make it inhance one's capacity for impartial objectivity when making important decisions.
I would spend my entire life savings on this stuff just to dump it in my city's tap water.
One can dream...
'It's a little bit like a free lunch without the calories'
Isn't that a bit like. . . no lunch at all?
How about "universal soldier MICE"?!?! Have you not seen all the wonder drugs made for mice? The world, fooled by the tiny size of mice, have overlooked all the scientific breakthroughs in the field of "super mice enhancement". Everything from "mental performance enhances", "cancer curing medicine" and now "muscle building drugs"... The days of humans are number. Fuck Asimov, Mice dont follow no rules.
Can we please get a tag called "supermice"?
20th century Marxism is not progress...
Why should we limit enhancement to chemical means? Why not give the pitcher a cybernetic cannon to launch the baseballs?
100,000, eventually.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
Your server got slashdotted again, Rick? better buy more gerbil wheels for that generator!
mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
There are quite a few people who cannot exorcise.
Your mother runs on the treadmills in Hell, Karras!
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)