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Get Ready For the Nerdlympics

jfruhlinger writes "In the upcoming Olympics, competitors will take part in the 'modern' pentathlon, designed in 1912 to simulate the skills a cavalry officer would need when trapped behind enemy lines. ITworld.com has developed a new set of competitions — untangling cables! code obfuscation! — that are a bit more relevant to the modern geek." Don't be too smug, though: Naturalist points out a story indicating that "Exercisers learn faster, remember more, think clearer and bounce back more easily from brain injuries such as a stroke."

19 of 174 comments (clear)

  1. Now thats the shit by unity100 · · Score: 5, Funny

    thats the kind of shit that i would be interested in watching !! running a straight line ? well i can do that myself, even if i cant do 100 m under 9 seconds. but untangling a mess ? now that is a watch for any time of day !

    1. Re:Now thats the shit by Red+Flayer · · Score: 4, Funny

      How does anybody verify that 2 messes are equally messy?

      Simple. Make the messes using identical cables, following the exact same steps. Since it's geeklympics, how about building a robot to uniformly tangle cables? Every mess of cable can be exactly the same (well, to the degree of the manufacturing tolerances of the cables). Program a new mess algorithm for each of the heats, and for the finals.

      What if 1 mess is stiffer and harder to untangle

      I'm not sure what olypmics you're watching, but I like the way you think.

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
  2. Need more evidence by sakdoctor · · Score: 4, Funny

    I demand more evidence before I start exercising. I keep reading about all the positive benefits for the brain, but from observation of jocks, what I actually see is negative correlation.

  3. "think clearer"? by jdgeorge · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Exercisers learn faster, remember more, think clearer and bounce back more easily from brain injuries such as a stroke."

    Hmmm.... Think "more clearly", perhaps?

    I must infer that the author is a non-exerciser.

    1. Re:"think clearer"? by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hi. :^)

      definition: clearer

      Hmmm.... Think "clearer", perhaps?

      I must infer that you are dictionary-non-user. ;^P

  4. Other events by Enderandrew · · Score: 5, Funny

    Obfuscating how you're slacking off
    Convincing suits that you really need that Alienware
    Switching people to Linux without them realizing it

    --
    http://blindscribblings.com - Tasty pop-culture in conceptual fashion.
  5. Excercisers? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    That sounds like a load of rubbish. I'm just as quick as a 700lb antelope. I mean, just this morning, I was doing something... and then it was done. And yeah, stuff. Who am I? What am I doing here?

  6. New Competitions by Quartz25 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ITworld.com has developed a new set of competitions â" untangling cables! writing Perl!

    There. Fixed it for you.

    --
    Most people don't get why the integral of "e to the x" is so funny. Most math majors don't have a sense of humor.
    1. Re:New Competitions by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 4, Funny

      untangling Perl! writing cables!

      There. Fixed it for you.

      --
      No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  7. Re:Insultolympics by reset_button · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're assuming that getting on Slashdot generates traffic for them, but we all know that nobody RTFA.

  8. Re:Insultolympics by CaptainPatent · · Score: 3, Funny

    Gee, great, because you know most geeks only love computers and don't have diverse interests.

    Your statement confuses me. You state a known fact but seem to do it with a sarcastic tone!

    Are you saying there's something more to life than dual booting?

    --
    Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
  9. Re:Insultolympics by 4D6963 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Gee, great, because you know most geeks only love computers and don't have diverse interests.

    What.. what the hell are you doing? You can't just go around talking about how people are not all just the stereotype attributed to the category they fall into! What's the matter with you? That's more anti-American than eating a snail kebab while reading Oscar Wilde! Of course geeks only care about technology and science fiction, hate sports, get abused by "jocks" and can't get with a girl! Don't you ever watch The Big Bang Theory and such shows? That's how geeks are on TV, and TV *is* to an important extent our perception of reality.

    What sort of drivel is to be expected from you next? Are you going to tell us that "jocks" aren't all just a bunch of buffy and cruel idiots with complexes who only enjoy football, locking "geeks" into lockers and dating cheerleaders, bound to become unemployed drunken failures by their 30's?

    --
    You just got troll'd!
  10. Re:Rube Goldberg Code? by Dripdry · · Score: 3, Funny

    I prefer the term "Workplace Efficiency Monitor" thank you very much.

    "insensitive clod" was unavailable at the time of this post.

    --
    -
  11. Re:Insultolympics by Red+Flayer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ah, the Slashdot paradox:

    The hordes of Slashdot can bring a webserver to its knees even though no Slashdotter actually views the webpage.

    --
    "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
  12. Re:Insultolympics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is a dumb article written solely for the purpose of generating traffic...

    The nerve! How dare these commercial online publications print articles for the purpose of drawing traffic to their site in order to generate ad revenue? It's just simply beyond the pale! Somebody should write their Congressman and get a law passed banning this egregious, naked attempt to provide a service in exchange for monetary compensation!

  13. Re:Insultolympics by xaxa · · Score: 4, Funny

    The answer is obvious: There's those on Slashdot who use their eyes, and those who use their mouths. The two don't intersect.

    You type with your tongue?

  14. Exercise? Bah. by 192939495969798999 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've had 8 strokes, and I haven't potato any of my mental sharpness.

    --
    stuff |
  15. Re:Insultolympics by Mistshadow2k4 · · Score: 4, Funny

    You type with your tongue?

    And if so, what are you doing Saturday night?

    --
    I dream of a better world... one in which chickens can cross roads without their motives being questioned.
  16. Re:Insultolympics by jahudabudy · · Score: 4, Funny

    3) Arguing about which is better, 1 or 2

    I have to admit I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying figure our why nerds would argue over which integer is better. Then I reread the list...

    p.s. I'm torn between pride and shame that I managed to generate theoretical arguments in support of either side of the imaginary 1 vs. 2 debate

    --
    ...sometimes, in order to hurt someone very badly, you have to tell that person terrible lies. - PA