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Microsoft Patents "Pg Up" and "Pg Dn"
An anonymous reader notes that Microsoft has been granted a patent on "Page Up" and "Page Down" keystrokes. The article links an image of an IBM PC keyboard from 1981 with such keys in evidence. "The software giant applied for the patent in 2005, and was granted it on August 19, 2008. US patent number 7,415,666 describes 'a method and system in a document viewer for scrolling a substantially exact increment in a document, such as one page, regardless of whether the zoom is such that some, all or one page is currently being viewed.'... The company received its 5,000th patent from the US Patent and Trademark Office in March 2006, and is currently approaching the 10,000 mark."
That's ok; I don't RTFA anyway.
Microsoft patents the process of securing a patent.
... is the three fingers salute. A "standard mechanism allowing end users to terminate faulty operating system processes without having the possibility to save their current work".
Ok it's an easy one.
lucm, indeed.
Microsoft announces today the patenting of P-En-IS
Gates: "P-En-IS is one of our most stable products yet! in fact at most it'll need a soft reboot now and then"
Ballmer: "Thats right, Buffer overflows are a FEATURE on this one!"
If I were you, I wouldn't touch those keys again unless your lawyer says it's OK.
I think the response my father gave when I read the summary to him nicely sums up what we're all thinking: "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Friend: "The NIC is misconfigured..." Me: "No prob, I'll just telnet in and fix it." *Silence*
I have to imagine that redmond feels frivolous patents like this are an EXTREMELY funny joke. Bet you it went down like this:
SB: come on guys, you've got to think of some way to simultaneously shaft millions and demonstrate, once again, the inadequacy of patent office oversight.
HG: well, we already patented double clicking, how can we top that?
TS: we could patent breathing....
JD: no, that might infringe on Dell's pending (at the time of this conversation) copyrighting of the term "cloud computing"
BG: let's patent being fat, bald, and sweaty. SB needs to have his name on something for once.
SB: fuck it, lets just patent these two buttons on my keyboard, pg up and pg dn. no one but *nix users will notice the difference anyways.
USPTO: allow us to lick your testicles, mr ballmer!
no, that's not a leaked microsoft email, but you and I both know it may as well be.
This is kdawson. I can see who AC posts come from, you were logged on
Hey, you're using my patented Intellectual Property Recursive Protection system!
DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
with the implication that one's compensation and prospects for advancement (or not getting laid off^H^H^H) were at stake.
See you in court.
I'm so tired of this joke, in fact, that I've obtained a patent on "not shutting the hell up." I demand that you cease infringement.
Hey, Maybe that's what MS is trying to do? God bless them!
*ducks*
Invaders must die
Turtle Wax has been granted a patent for "Wax on, Wax off". A federal judge has ruled that "The Karate Kid" cannot be used as prior art in a US court and Ralph Macchio's character was under a "foreign influence" at the time.
Pain is merely failure leaving the body
"Insightful"?
Hello mods, let me disect this frog for you: the parent implied that s/he had developed an 'almost as good' alternative to a spelling patent. The quality of said alternative is to be seen in the misspellings of 'gett', 'arround', patentt', 'sligghtly', 'offf', 'ussed', 'simmilar', 'techniqque', and 'speling'.
Sheesh. Amazing who they let loose – I mean, lose – with mod points nowadays.
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
I've just applied for patents for currency keys as a means of representing currencies. So please don't use the $, euro, yen, etc. keys before contacting me about licensing fees ...
(Since the pound is dropping so much these days, I decided to leave it to the Brits)
Wow, only 7 page downs till godwin.