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Microsoft Patents "Pg Up" and "Pg Dn"

Posted by kdawson on from the your-grandfather-had-prior-art dept.

An anonymous reader notes that Microsoft has been granted a patent on "Page Up" and "Page Down" keystrokes. The article links an image of an IBM PC keyboard from 1981 with such keys in evidence. "The software giant applied for the patent in 2005, and was granted it on August 19, 2008. US patent number 7,415,666 describes 'a method and system in a document viewer for scrolling a substantially exact increment in a document, such as one page, regardless of whether the zoom is such that some, all or one page is currently being viewed.'... The company received its 5,000th patent from the US Patent and Trademark Office in March 2006, and is currently approaching the 10,000 mark."

15 of 350 comments (clear)

  1. Ok by me. by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's ok; I don't RTFA anyway.

    1. Re:Ok by me. by spazdor · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, I skipped past your reply using my pgDn button. So there.

      --
      DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
    2. Re:Ok by me. by everynerd · · Score: 5, Funny

      See you in court.

    3. Re:Ok by me. by Shakrai · · Score: 5, Funny

      You're right - porn.slashdot.org is definitely not responding.

      That's a subscribers only section.... try logging into your account ;)

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
    4. Re:Ok by me. by kdemetter · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well's that nothing a screwdriver can't fix. I'll replace Pg Up and Pg Down with Scroll Lock and Pause. I can type blind anyway.

      Good Luck patenting that ! .

      --
      Slipping shoelaces ?
    5. Re:Ok by me. by sqldr · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's a subscribers only section.... try logging into your account ;)

      ok.. *clicks*

      AAAIEEE!!!! JESUSFUCK, MY EYEEEES!!!!!!!!

      --
      I wrote my first program at the age of six, and I still can't work out how this website works.
  2. The real patent they need... by lucm · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... is the three fingers salute. A "standard mechanism allowing end users to terminate faulty operating system processes without having the possibility to save their current work".

    Ok it's an easy one.

    --
    lucm, indeed.
    1. Re:The real patent they need... by PsychoElf · · Score: 5, Funny

      My lawyer will be contacting you for the emotional damage I have suffered as a result of your post. I wasted a mouthful of BEER as a direct result of your post.

    2. Re:The real patent they need... by whosaidanythingabout · · Score: 3, Funny

      The real origin of the three fingers is explained buy the inventor (David Bradley) on youtube. So, Microsoft could not have patented it ... well they probably could have anyway in light of the PageUP PageDN patent.

    3. Re:The real patent they need... by Crudely_Indecent · · Score: 3, Funny

      Not at all, the BSOD is the method used to lose your work WITHOUT pressing any keys.

      The difference here is the BSOD is an automated process for losing your work, where the three-fingered-salute is a manual process for losing your work. Both must exist, because the automated process is sometimes unreliable. When work must be lost NOW and the automated process fails, users have an alternative.

      Same result, different method.

      --


      "Lame" - Galaxar
  3. Re:What now? by Proud+Virgin · · Score: 3, Funny

    If I were you, I wouldn't touch those keys again unless your lawyer says it's OK.

  4. What? by John+Pfeiffer · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think the response my father gave when I read the summary to him nicely sums up what we're all thinking: "Are you fucking kidding me?"

    --

    Friend: "The NIC is misconfigured..." Me: "No prob, I'll just telnet in and fix it." *Silence*
  5. Re:No they didn't by archkittens · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have to imagine that redmond feels frivolous patents like this are an EXTREMELY funny joke. Bet you it went down like this:

    SB: come on guys, you've got to think of some way to simultaneously shaft millions and demonstrate, once again, the inadequacy of patent office oversight.
    HG: well, we already patented double clicking, how can we top that?
    TS: we could patent breathing....
    JD: no, that might infringe on Dell's pending (at the time of this conversation) copyrighting of the term "cloud computing"
    BG: let's patent being fat, bald, and sweaty. SB needs to have his name on something for once.
    SB: fuck it, lets just patent these two buttons on my keyboard, pg up and pg dn. no one but *nix users will notice the difference anyways.
    USPTO: allow us to lick your testicles, mr ballmer!

    no, that's not a leaked microsoft email, but you and I both know it may as well be.

  6. Re:Lawsuit time by spazdor · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey, you're using my patented Intellectual Property Recursive Protection system!

    --
    DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
  7. And, in other patent news by haruchai · · Score: 3, Funny

    Turtle Wax has been granted a patent for "Wax on, Wax off". A federal judge has ruled that "The Karate Kid" cannot be used as prior art in a US court and Ralph Macchio's character was under a "foreign influence" at the time.

    --
    Pain is merely failure leaving the body