Best Buy + Windows Guru = Apple Store Experience?

CWmike writes "As part of Windows Vista's $300 million marketing rehab, Microsoft will hire an initial wave of 155 'Windows Gurus' to walk around Best Buy and Circuit City stores to answer customer questions and defend Vista's reputation against skeptics, reports say. Gurus will earn $20 an hour or more, plus benefits. (Apply here.) One way Windows Gurus will differ from Apple Geniuses is that they are not intended to be sources of free technical support for existing Vista users. 'The Guru role is to help sell Windows-based PCs. It is not to be an alternative tech support channel for Microsoft as this has no financial return beyond improved customer satisfaction,' Baker said. One reason: Windows Gurus could end up 'lightning rods for customers' frustrations with Vista.'"

Comments

Now we know who's been Bogarting the Sativa

[Anonymous Coward]

We'd... um... like to be like that company... that sells that O/S... that every one like... likes.

So we're going to send out these expensive sales people... to hype our product... but not stand behind it like the other guys do... because that would... be like work, man.

Anyone named Bruno instantly hired

[bigtallmofo]

FTA: The good thing is that Microsoft will be able to get Windows explained appropriately on the sales floor.

Oh my God, does this sound ominous. Any Best Buy employee explaining Windows "inappropriately" will be taken out back by a Windows Guru and "evangelized".

Re:Anyone named Bruno instantly hired

[Stanistani]

As a newly hired Windows guru, I pledge to teach breathing exercises, tantric meditation, and contemplation of your inner penguin.

Re:Anyone named Bruno instantly hired

[orclevegam]

FTA: The good thing is that Microsoft will be able to get Windows explained appropriately on the sales floor. Oh my God, does this sound ominous. Any Best Buy employee explaining Windows "inappropriately" will be taken out back by a Windows Guru and "evangelized".

It's Windows we're talking about here; not OSX.

Precisely, if it was OS X it would be the customers taking the employee outback, not the company rep.

Re:Anyone named Bruno instantly hired

[Ethanol-fueled]

That's why they're paid 20 bucks an hour!
Slashdotters - give 'em hell. Here are a few questions to ask:

"Where can I get that Linux thing that everybody's talking about?"

"What's the point of those stupid commercials we keep seeing? It's like Bill Gates has money and likes to mock us."

"Do windows PCs suck as much as the Mac ads say they do? I want to be cool, not old and dumb."

"Why did Windows Vista fuck my wife? I heard it also eats babies and starts wars with defenseless countries."

Re:Guru? Not really ...

[ColdWetDog]

Only people in marketing could come up with the term "guru" to mean "someone who can't help, and exists to market to you until you give in".

OK guys, let's help:

Windows Warriors?
Vista Vultures?
Ballmer's Boys?
Hardy Heron?

Apply here?

[PotatoFarmer]

While the application link is a nice touch, for some reason I think Microsoft may be wary of anyone coming in with a slashdot referer.

Good luck with that

[Fishbulb]

they are not intended to be sources of free technical support for existing Vista users

Until the people they convinced to buy Vista come back to the store in a black fart of rage looking for blood or someone to kidnap until their machine works like it did before.

Good. Freaking. Luck.

Re:Good luck with that

[Just Some Guy]

Until the people they convinced to buy Vista come back to the store in a black fart of rage

Either you mistyped "fit" or you have some seriously unpleasant anger issues.

Re:'lightning rods' for customer frustrations

[CaptainPatent]

So does the $20/hr include danger pay?

Danger pay is covered, but they don't reimburse you for the cost of your soul unfortunately.

Who comes up with this crap?

[dave562]

What tool in Microsoft land decided to create a highly visible position that can't actually help people with the system? One of the most frequently asked questions directed toward me when I enter any retail establishment is, "How can I help you?" As consumers we are conditioned to expect that people who are employed at a store are there to help us. This is just a PR nightmare waiting to happen. I can see the PC vs Mac commercial already....

[Enter PC and Mac. Each of them has a friend.]

Mac, "Hey PC, who is your friend?"

PC, "This is my [Microsoft store tool]. She's here to tell everyone how great Vista is. I see you have a friend. What does he do?"

Mac, "This is my genius. He helps everyone USE their Apple and answers any technical questions that they may have. PC, does your friend answer technical questions? Does your friend do anything other than try to convince people to spend money on a product and then leave them out in the cold when they have questions about it? Huh? Does he? Or is he just another over paid, worthless, Microsoft marketing..."

PC, "Shut up Mac!"

Re:Best Buy + Windows Guru = Apple Store Experienc

[dzfoo]

And the products would, you know, not suck.

        -dZ.

Oh Boy, a Living, Breathing "Clippy"

[retiredtwice]

Just what MS needed....

Re:The Application Form is a CIA intelligence jog

[eln]

19. All positions require the successful completion of a thorough background check and multiple-panel drug test prior to the start of your employment.

I think you're reading this requirement wrong. "Successful completion" of a multi-panel drug test means that you need to show proof that you are actually taking some sort of mind-altering drug or they won't allow you to work for them. The reason for this is simple: Being willing to work as a Windows Vista evangelist without being under the influence of narcotics is a sure sign of dangerous mental illness.

Re:The Application Form is a CIA intelligence jog

[John Meacham]

Sure you can

"With Vista, you will find yourself working harder than you ever have before"

"I cannot recommend vista too highly"

"I am pleased to say I am a former user of vista"