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Homeland Security Department Testing "Pre-Crime" Detector
holy_calamity writes "New Scientist reports that the Department of Homeland Security recently tested something called Future Attribute Screening Technologies (FAST) — a battery of sensors that determine whether someone is a security threat from a distance. Sensors look at facial expressions, body heat and can measure pulse and breathing rate from a distance. In trials using 140 volunteers those told to act suspicious were detected with 'about 78% accuracy on mal-intent detection, and 80% on deception,' says a DHS spokesman."
In other news today, Homeland Security has detained the entire Chili Cook-off Carnival event after their new FAST software registered positive hits on EVERYTHING there, including some domesticated animals and a squirrel with three legs.
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." -Groucho Marx
I was just about to finish up my patent application for a device that could accurately detect a human pretending to be a monkey 80% of the time when a human test subject is asked in advance to pretend to be a monkey.
Why do I even bother?
I'm a big tall mofo.
Can the sensors even handle that much mal-intent and deception?
Monstar L
All you need to do now is post signs reminding any potential evil-doers to "act suspicious" and the system will work perfectly.
It can't be sued for being racist...
In other words, 22% of the time it is wrong. Saying it's right 78% of the time is pure and simple market speak.
The interesting thing about this is if people started to intrinsically act suspicious, the numbers become fudged and mostly meaningless. One way this could be accomplished is by standing around handing out complimentary eye patches, telling people it is act like a pirate day.
Once you start despising the jerks, you become one.
All we've got is a device which can spot normal people trying to be visibly "suspicious".
Doc Brown: Get yourself some fifties clothes.
Marty McFly: Check, Doc.
Doc Brown: Something inconspicuous!
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Baclava is a pastry. I'd be suspicios if somone were wearing it. I would suspect that they are a really messy eater.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
because they're usually bug-eyed, sweating, twitching, and frequently high
Based on that alone they would be catching a lot of nerds out on the first date too.
Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification
Fair warning, you should go trademark the phrase "magical terrorist detector" before I do.
Check out my sysadmin blog!
Unfortunately, sarcastic bitching is not the solution.
No, but it does make it a little easier to handle as the problem gets worse.
The Internet is generally stupid
Great. So now every time I return from a business trip to Thailand where I had relations with young men of questionable age, and I call my wife from the customs line the machine will catch my guilty face and my increased heart rate from trying to pass a lie off to her. And I'll be stuck in the airport for a good six hours under arrest.
Welp, those "Business Trips" to Thailand are over.
The Internet is generally stupid
I'll give that a shot...
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Especially since their suggestion for acting suspicious was to wear a top hat, fake moustache, and black cape.