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What To Do Right As a New Programmer?

Posted by timothy on from the give-your-coworkers-good-nerf-guns dept.

globeadue writes "My company just tagged me for full time App Dev — I've essentially never coded for money, but the last 3 years of support desk gives me the business sense to know the environment I'll be coding for. Now my company will be training me, so I think the technical side of things will be covered, what I'm looking for is best practices, habits I should/shouldn't develop, etc as I take on my new craft."

9 of 662 comments (clear)

  1. Goto is good by corsec67 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Along with the ? : ternary opp.

    Code that is hard to read means job security.

    The IOCCC is a good place to learn style.

    Sql Injection is a good thing. You don't need to escape user data before send it to the DB, users never do anything bad.

    (Go ahead and mod me troll, I can take the hit. Note that this is actually a list of things NOT to do. Except goto is sometimes useful, for breaking out of a few layers of loops/blocks.)

    --
    If I have nothing to hide, don't search me
    1. Re:Goto is good by TheRealMindChild · · Score: 5, Funny

      http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/goto.png

      Moral of the story: Even when you think a goto is OK, you will still get eaten by a dinosaur.

      --

      "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
  2. Get out now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Get out, now, for the love of God, while you still can.

  3. Advice to increase productivity. by radarsat1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't read Slashdot at work. :)

  4. Re:Always.... by Bill,+Shooter+of+Bul · · Score: 4, Funny

    yeah, wheels suck. Instead create a circle that can be attached to a vehicle in such a manner that it allows the circle to roll while the vehicle moves in a straight line. And don't forget to give it descriptive name like

    circleForVehicleToMoveBetterThanDraggingWouldNormallyAllow

    --
    Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
  5. Re:Go with the flow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Tip: Get together with your coworkers after work -- hit a bar on Thursday/Friday night, loosen up, relax, talk shit about your managers, etc. Find out what people do outside of work. Ask the girls if they shave their pussy, the guys if they shave their balls. If you're in the bathroom taking a piss together, compliment them on their cock. Little things like that make the work environment easier and the coding more fun.

  6. Learn by example by Repton · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. Read The Daily WTF. 2. Don't do that.

    --
    Repton.
    They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
  7. Re:Go with the flow by Whiteox · · Score: 4, Funny

    On the other hand, there are some universal rules:

            * Plan/Design everything
            * Document everything
            * Version control everything
            * Test everything
            * Deny everything

    Don't forget:
            * Lots of GOTOs
            * Delete those annoying REM statements
            * Use weird, arcane variable names like 'ORGO' and 'FTOOMSH'

    Good Luck!

    --
    Don't be apathetic. Procrastinate!
  8. Re:Go with the flow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    For the complete list see how to write unmaintainable code at:

    http://mindprod.com/jgloss/unmain.html