Ultrasound Machine Ages Wine

Inventor Casey Jones says his creation uses ultrasound technology to recreate the effects of decades of aging by colliding alcohol molecules inside the bottle. Mr. Jones said, "This machine can take your run-of-the-mill £3.99 bottle of plonk and turn it into a finest bottle of vintage tasting like it costs hundreds. It works on any alcohol that tastes better aged, even a bottle of paintstripper whisky can taste like an 8-year-aged single malt." The Ultrasonic Wine Ager, which looks like a Dr. Who ice bucket, takes 30 minutes to work and has already been given the thumbs up by an English winemaker. I know a certain special lady who is about to have the best bottle of Boone's Farm in the world.

Comments

What is "the real thing" ?

[Shotgun]

FTA: However, he warned restaurants and bars against trying to pass off a cheaper bottle of wine as a more expensive one just because it had been through the machine. "You would have to tell customers it wasn't quite the real thing," he said.

What's that? Is that the BS detector going off?!! Why, yes it is!

Heh, either the wine taste good and you can charge more for it, or it doesn't and it goes to the supermarket. The snooty people spending money for a name and a year just want the label anyway. It could be piss water and they'd just claim that it is an acquired taste.

That said, I suspect this invention could actually work. Not by banging alcohol molecules together, but by breaking down organic solids that are floating around.
 

Whiskey == Burnt Oak Juice.

[zippthorne]

Whiskey is aged in *charred* oak casks. It takes significant flavor from them. I really don't understand why people debate over the merits single- and double- malt, etc, when the dominant flavor (as far as I can tell) by far is the drum it "aged" in.

 

In fact, I'd wager that an untrained tongue would have difficulty telling the difference between some whiskeys and a decoction of charred oak chips prepared with filtered water.