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Can Static Electricity Generate Votes?

Posted by timothy on from the dc-elections-crack-me-up-and-barry-too dept.

artgeeq writes "A recent local election in Washington, DC resulted in 1500 extra votes for a candidate. The board of elections is now claiming that static electricity caused the malfunction. Is this even remotely possible? If so, couldn't an election be invalidated pretty easily?"

31 of 377 comments (clear)

  1. My friends by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    If I am elected, all charges will be positive.

    1. Re:My friends by The+Redster! · · Score: 5, Funny

      Now that's charge I can believe in!

    2. Re:My friends by n+dot+l · · Score: 5, Funny

      If I am elected, all charges will be positive.

      Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent wants to take away your electrons! If you value your molecular bonds - and what true patriot doesn't? - you will vote against these anti-electronist policies!

    3. Re:My friends by Aranykai · · Score: 4, Funny

      Whomever is elected, I'm sure sparks will fly.

      --
      If sharing a song makes you a pirate, what do I have to share to be a ninja?
    4. Re:My friends by BronsCon · · Score: 4, Funny

      This electron was rigged!

      --
      APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.
    5. Re:My friends by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Let's not let this go negative now....

    6. Re:My friends by rubycodez · · Score: 4, Funny

      just as long as you're not advocating any of that ungodly same-charge attraction and strong force coupling, that queer stuff needs to stay in the closet, dammit!

    7. Re:My friends by Walkingshark · · Score: 4, Funny

      I must agree! I, for one, believe that Shroedinger's closet must stay closed, so that anyone inside can remain both gay and not-gay simultaneously, thus preventing a collapse of the state!

      --
      The world you experience is only a close approximation of reality.
    8. Re:My friends by Shikaku · · Score: 5, Funny

      You have no ground!

    9. Re:My friends by IdahoEv · · Score: 5, Funny

      This story has potential!

      --
      I stole this sig from someone cleverer than me.
    10. Re:My friends by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well whatever. I want my Malibu Palin Doll.

    11. Re:My friends by BronsCon · · Score: 5, Funny

      You don't find it at all shocking, do you?

      --
      APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.
    12. Re:My friends by theMoleofProduction · · Score: 4, Funny

      If current events are any indication, Joule see that despite E-voting's high capacitance for abuse the resistance will never get their Faraday in court. Charges against those in power will simply be dismissed by the judges they appointed.

      --
      Chemists do it with moles.
    13. Re:My friends by KGIII · · Score: 4, Funny

      Ohm my God! Don't you know that 2/3 of pun is actually P.U. and joule go to hell for one that bad.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    14. Re:My friends by QRDeNameland · · Score: 4, Funny

      Now that's going too far, a day later I may feel differently, though.

      --
      Momentarily, the need for the construction of new light will no longer exist.
    15. Re:My friends by pureevilmatt · · Score: 5, Funny

      oh my god, i've just suffered a pun overload.

    16. Re:My friends by KGIII · · Score: 4, Funny

      I didn't have the capacity to resist. No matter watt I try, I just keep making bad puns though I'm sure I'll be charged eventually. I'm not sure what ion besides beer. Stupid beer.

      *goes and hangs himself in shame*

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    17. Re:My friends by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Obviously, the problem has to do with voting in D.C. If they'd voted in A.C. both parties would have received equal votes, thus ensuring a neutral result.

    18. Re:My friends by marcosdumay · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nothing against strong force coupling, as long as direct observation of it is not possible.

      --
      Rethinking email
    19. Re:My friends by JuicyBrain · · Score: 5, Funny

      You have my volt !

  2. don't know about you guys... by owlnation · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... but I'm shocked.

  3. The real question is by Haoie · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is static electricity smarter than the average, uninformed voter?

    --
    If each mistake being made is a new one, then progress is being made.
    1. Re:The real question is by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yes but it's more biased.

    2. Re:The real question is by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is the USA. There is no left wing. Just a right wing and a far right wing.

  4. Religious Perspective by Wowlapalooza · · Score: 4, Funny

    Nah, it's just all those Body Thetans trying to vote Xenu into office.

    Nice try, fellas. Better luck next time...

  5. Static electricity has a right to vote by burnitdown · · Score: 4, Funny

    In addition, it's smarter than many of the voters.

    --
    Anti-Globalism, Traditionalism, and FreeBSD.
  6. This Just In by ThanatosMinor · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Carpeted Man wins the general election by a whopping 6.88x10^89 votes! It was surely a shrewd maneuver to choose a Van de Graaff generator as his running mate!

    This is one for the record books, folks.

  7. GOOD by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm tired of all this damn negativity in politics nowadays.

  8. Re:Solution? by Tumbleweed · · Score: 4, Funny

    Paper ballots?

    Chad disagrees. Ask him yourself - he's hanging out around here somewhere.

  9. Lets get down to Watts what! by Banquo · · Score: 5, Funny

    As the third party candidate, I'd just like to say that I'm completely grounded and I won't charge you AT ALL. Those other candidates say that a vote for me is throwing your vote away, but I say they cause Washington to be so polarized that nothing will get done.

    Sure they talk about delivering a path of least resistance, but I think there is a path which will save us from charge and discharge alike.

    (Also those other two guys support Islamist free radicals, and decreasing the capacitance of the middle class)

    I'm the Thane of Lochaber and I support this message

  10. Shuffling feet.. by JoeCommodore · · Score: 4, Funny

    I wonder how many mod points can I generate if i just touch thi

    --
    "Enjoy what you're doing! If it becomes drudgery, you're doing it wrong!" - Jim Butterfield