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UK Government Says More Spying Needed

An anonymous reader writes "Our wonderful government here in the UK has decided we're not being surveilled enough, and agreed to spend £12 billion on a programme to monitor every Briton's phone calls, e-mails, and internet usage. According to various sources, upwards of £1 billion has already been spent on the uber-database. Rationale? Terrorism, of course (no prizes for guessing). Needless to say, not everyone is as happy as Larry over this: Michael Parker pointed out how us Brits are being 'stalked.' I'm just looking forward to when the data gets lost."

14 of 297 comments (clear)

  1. Next step by RockMFR · · Score: 4, Funny

    Putting cameras in toilets. We must keep an eye on every movement the terrorists make!

    1. Re:Next step by SupplyMission · · Score: 3, Funny

      Dude! I just had a little accidental movement when I read that.

    2. Re:Next step by Warll · · Score: 5, Funny

      And of course it is the duty of all good citizens to help out where they can, I already placed cameras in all the local women's washrooms!

    3. Re:Next step by Entropy98 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Web cams?

    4. Re:Next step by jez9999 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Giggity, giggity, goo!

  2. They sure do! by trib3003 · · Score: 2, Funny

    With the speed they loose the data they do have to collect much more just to have some left in their own hands.

  3. Re:By George, Let's Have More Spying Then! by Zontar+The+Mindless · · Score: 3, Funny

    The king decries it!

    I do not think that word means what you think it means.

    Perhaps you meant this word?

    --
    Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
  4. Re:I'll take the risk then! by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Terrorism", when looked at number of deaths per year, is basically a total non-issue. How many people have been killed by terrorism in the UK in the last 50 years?

    I know it's a rhetorical question but I've just been looking this up myself. This includes the IRA, so just under 2000 including terrorists being killed, according to Wikipedia. That's 40 a year. Slightly higher than the number of tea cosy related accidents.

  5. Re:Evidence that it's helping? by 91degrees · · Score: 2, Funny

    True. And people are missing the fringe benefits. It's also keeping the tigers out of my bedroom, protecting me from cheese falling from the moon and ensuring my molecules don't fall between the gaps in the molecules of the road.

  6. An Avian IP Network at last. by chris_sawtell · · Score: 3, Funny

    In other news:

    It is with great sadness that the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds report that the wild pigeon population is being totally decimated, yet strangely there is no evidence of the cause of the presumed deaths.

    Wikipedia reports that the hit rate on a page about an interesting implementation of IP has increased by several orders of magnitude.

    The IETF report that the RFC server for rfc1149 and rfc2549 have been pom-dotted into oblivion by millions of Britons determined to preserve their privacy.

    The price of quality eggs of pure racing pigeon breeding stock has suddenly punctured the thousand pound barrier for the first time in history, resulting in the share value of the British Consolidated Pigeon Breeding Co. increasing by 500% per day for the last week.

    Market analysts are dumbfounded.

  7. Meanwhile OUR governments here by mi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Meanwhile, OUR wonderful governments here can not secure the voting rights against the scammers...

    Dead people voting? No computers raising alarms...

    --
    In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
  8. MORE spying? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    They have James Bond. Honestly. What other spying could you need?

  9. Re:Keyhole career. by nizo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wait, so you are saying V for Vendetta was actually a documentary?

  10. Post your term paper here by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    You check over my mid-term paper? I want links to any suppository corrections like his also mandatory. It's nice to find people like you with so much time that he does this for others. I want you to do this for me. Post you're email addy so I may respond with paper.

    Post you're mid term-paper hear and wheel correct it. Once you get the slashdot affect working four you, you are guaranteed to get an A!! I can find any mistakes in your paper, sew this is a good deal.