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Do Nerds Have Better Sperm?

Posted by samzenpus on from the better-how dept.

mcgrew writes "The question of how we loveless nerds managed to not be bred out of the species genome may have been answered. According to New Scientist, we have better sperm. According to the article, men who scored high on a battery of intelligence tests boasted high counts of healthy sperm, while low scorers tended to have fewer and more sickly little guys. ... Though the connections between brains and sperm were 'not awesome, they're there and highly significant.' All things held equal, good sperm and good brains go together." Don't start gloating yet. Another recent study found that the gene that makes you good at Halo also makes you a premature ejaculator. A study of 200 Dutch men found that those with a premature ejaculation problem all had a version of a gene that controls the release of serotonin. These men seem to "have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games." Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

15 of 178 comments (clear)

  1. Useless by NuclearError · · Score: 5, Funny

    What good is this if nerds never get a chance to use sperm?

    --
    Nuclear engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
    1. Re:Useless by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Nerds use sperm all the time. It's where they use the sperm that is the problem. Although given they have more, healthier sperm, perhaps that explains how they manage to reproduce. Their sperm simply survive longer "in the wild" and when the next hapless female uses the bathroom...

  2. Re:Up next... by winkydink · · Score: 2, Funny

    Be sure and write back to let us know how it tasted.

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

  3. grr by Kingrames · · Score: 4, Funny

    Okay seriously I read that as SPAM.

    I'm all freaked out now. My freudian slips are working in reverse.

    --
    If you can read this, I forgot to post anonymously.
  4. Worthless study, won't change a thing by Captain+Spam · · Score: 5, Funny

    All right, look, ladies. There's been studies showing that nerds are better lovers, care more about you, we're rich, and now we've got better sperm and will get you better kids, plus we're really interesting to boot. Now would somebody finally go out with me already, damnit?!?

    --
    Demanding constant attention will only lead to attention.
    1. Re:Worthless study, won't change a thing by xstonedogx · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey! A woman choose me you insensitive clod!

    2. Re:Worthless study, won't change a thing by nameendingwith · · Score: 2, Funny

      I can't tell with your spelling and all...Are you trying to refute what gweihir said or agree with him?

    3. Re:Worthless study, won't change a thing by norminator · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...plus we're really interesting to boot.

      And that's where you lose them. Mad CLI skills and a working knowledge of BSD doesn't count as interesting to most of the ladies out there.

    4. Re:Worthless study, won't change a thing by Translation+Error · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah! Who wouldn't want a prize catch like Hans Reiser?

      --
      When someone says, "Any fool can see ..." they're usually exactly right.
  5. Definitions by bobdotorg · · Score: 4, Funny

    If by "better" you mean having a chance to enter a vagina, then... No.

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    __ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
  6. of course! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Condensated and concentrated over years without a proper release, its insemination powers know no bounds!

  7. Common Misconception by pete-classic · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

    Actually, it means you aren't using enough lube.

    -Peter

  8. You mom thought so... by Tetsujin · · Score: 1, Funny

    Your mom has sampled all varieties, and has upheld the result of this study - saying nerd sperm really is best in terms of flavor, texture, temperature, and its aesthetic qualities when sprayed on her face and chest.

    --
    Bow-ties are cool.
  9. I'm bound to have many offspring... by SeePage87 · · Score: 4, Funny

    seeing as how I'm very bright (super sperm) and I'm awesome at halo (they'll be spread everywhere very quickly). Unfortunately my halo skillz aren't going to help me support all my illegitimate children. My brain would, but it's too busy making me feel depressed about my premature ejaculation to do me much good right now.

  10. Re:Up next... by NoName6272 · · Score: 2, Funny
    ... You are a wiki nerd are you not sir...

    ~
    NoName

    --
    Shoot Yourself In the Foot