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Microsoft Patents the Censoring of Speech

theodp writes "On Tuesday, the USPTO awarded Microsoft a patent for the Automatic Censorship of Audio Data for Broadcast, an invention that addresses 'producing censored speech that has been altered so that undesired words or phrases are either unintelligible or inaudible.' The patent describes methods for muting offensive words and replacing them with less offensive versions, and 'a third alternative provides for overwriting the undesired word with a masking sound, i.e., "bleeping" the undesired word with a tone.' After all, there's nothing worse than being subjected to offensive speech when you're shooting someone in the head."

15 of 192 comments (clear)

  1. Re:How original by Kifoth · · Score: 5, Funny

    You don't have to use Microsoft products, just switch to ###########

  2. Re:Useless by CRCulver · · Score: 3, Funny

    And if you disagree; well quck you.

    Dude, don't disrespect your fellow Slashdot posters. That's crunked up.

  3. Re:Oh come on..... by 4e617474 · · Score: 5, Funny

    What is next? "Microsoft wants to eat your babies"?

    No, no, no. "Microsoft Sues Baby Eaters for Copyright Infringement". Pay attention.

    --
    Finally modding someone offtopic when they rant about what "Begging the Question" means: priceless.
  4. Re:Oh come on..... by Throtex · · Score: 3, Funny

    You must be new here.

    IAAPL (I am a Patent Lawyer) ... as an engineer, I loved Slashdot. As a lawyer, I now know better and just come on here for laughs. It's like watching Sarah Palin discuss patent law.

  5. Re:Useless by BrokenHalo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pondering this make me feel a whole lot better about the whole enterprise.

    Good thinking. I often think the standard of cursing in this language tends to be woefully inadequate, consisting of the mindless and dull repetition of combinations of the same four-letter words. For once, Microsoft could be doing something positive to improve articulacy of profane expression. It might not be what they intend, but I won't lose any sleep over that. ;-)

  6. Mother smiling gumdrops! by KingTank · · Score: 3, Funny

    Mother smiling gumdrops! I think that's a bunch of bull smurfs! That sparkle pony happy hole, Bill Gates and his piece of rainbow company, Microsoft, can go flower themselves with a sunshine until they bleed out their bunnies!

  7. Re:Yay! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    (how does first post get modded redundant?)

  8. Mother@*&$%#! by NicknamesAreStupid · · Score: 3, Funny

    What the Luck? Those Gassholes in Redmond can't stop me from sMitting up a verbal storm. I'll BLiss all over their parade!

  9. Re:Oh come on..... by ColdWetDog · · Score: 3, Funny

    Keep laughing. One day, someone like me is going to string you up in a tree by your neck.

    Careful, we're talking about lawyers here. By now, someone has probably patented "a method whereby a human is elevated off the ground be means of large vegetable structures for the purposes of punishment".

    Try it and you'll be in a world of hurt.

    --
    Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  10. Re:Useless by gyrogeerloose · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I need a ruling on 'defecating masonry'. Can we let that go?"

    "Copulate that excrement!"

    --
    This ain't rocket surgery.
  11. Re:Yay! by Sj0 · · Score: 3, Funny

    What's worse, do they bother censoring the ideas, or do they just use softer words?

    Hey, you mother[LOVER] I'm going to skull[LOVE] your [LOVING] corpse and then I'm going to get you down on your knees and get your corpse to [WHISTLE] on my [SKINFLUTE]

    Or would the Microsoft device just change the whole sentence to something like

    [I LIKE YOU. WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER FOR AGE APPROPRIATE SOCIAL BEVERAGES.]

    --
    It's been a long time.
  12. Sunny by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    I...love...Windows Vista. It is a piece of...brilliance. I want to take a sledge hammer and ... gently caress ... it to turn it into a pile of ... sunshine.

  13. Re:Useless by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Fornicate that stool"?

    --
    Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
  14. Re:Useless by xOneca · · Score: 2, Funny
  15. This is a Good Thing! by kiick · · Score: 2, Funny

    Given how zealously MS guards it's intellectual property, now NO ONE ELSE will be able to censor speech without getting sued. Free speech is saved!