89-Year-Old Woman Refuses To Give Back Football

In a story straight from the stereotype news generator, 89-year-old Edna Jester is facing theft charges because she refuses to give a child back a football that ended up in her yard. Police say there had been an ongoing dispute over the football and a child's parent called to report that Jester kept the ball after it landed in her yard again. "I'm 89 years old and I want a little peace of mind," Jester said. "This is my life here in this chair, looking out that door, and all I see is playing the ball down and all over and all over. If it doesn't come in my yard, OK, but if it comes in my yard, I'm going to get it. No trespassing."

Comments

Anonymous Coward

[Anonymous Coward]

Unbelievable. If I'm the kid with the ball, I get my mom to buy the old lady her own football and bring it over with a box of candy. If I'm the old lady, I put the ball in the middle of the street. Although being arrested sounds like possibly the most exciting thing that's happened to her for awhile...

problem is what?

[Anonymous Coward]

If you want your kids using my yard as part of their makeshift football field, I'm happy to rent it out to you - I'd probably ask for compensation in the form of something like the kids mowing my lawn very occasionally, some token gesture that helps them learn about mutual respect and trade.

Otherwise, it's her property, and she has a right not to have some dolt regularly kick his football into it. The fact that football happens to be an All-American Sport[tm] is irrelevant - it's no better than some nerd using his USB launcher to shower the street with foam bullets, occasionally hitting my lawn.

Not theft

[tompaulco]

How can they charge her with theft? It was put into her yard multiple times, it belongs to her. End of story. I heard this on the radio the other day, and I couldn't believe that the cops didn't just laugh at the idiot who phoned it in. If my kids kept tossing their ball into somebody's yard, and the person didn't give the ball back, I'd tell them that they should have been more careful.

Re:Not theft

[Kneo24]

Get over yourself. Kids lack control and finesse to be able to throw and or kick a ball where they want it to go 100% of the time. Ever try to catch a bad throw or a kick, and have it bounce off of you? That is, unless you never went outdoors as a kid. Then I can understand how you'd forget these things. They're kids. It's what they do. Stealing their toys only creates unnecessary tension in the neighbor. Just because you're old doesn't mean you have to be a cranky cunt either.

Re:Not theft

[Anonymous Coward]

Nice try, but as much as you try to deflect the idiot mark to yourself, the real idiots here are the ones who brought the police into this.

clearly...

[nimbius]

the only solution is to send in SWAT. im certain theres a nice home for this woman to spend her days sewing wallets and counting the teeth that havent fallen out yet due to malnutrition.
the ball should be enshrined by the city in a glass sarcophagus and given its own parking space, election checkbox, memorial park, plackard, billboard, road, bridge, seat at the local theatre, and most importantly 11 day state holiday
. during which the townspeople all burn effigies of the old woman and sacrifice a senior citizen over a tire fire
once normalcy has been restored and this menace safely put to death, football protection amendments can be introduced into the state and federal constitution so as the next time something like this happens
the offending old fart is promptly ground into grade B dog food and forgotten about forever; their fillings having long since been used for football championship ring gold.

the child should be given a 20 million dollar settlement and an invitation to "god old people suck" days, during which a football related speech will be given and van halen will play music about how much footballs rock

anyone still reading?

idle is pants.