Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

89-Year-Old Woman Refuses To Give Back Football

Posted by samzenpus on from the it's-mine-now-I-keep-it dept.

In a story straight from the stereotype news generator, 89-year-old Edna Jester is facing theft charges because she refuses to give a child back a football that ended up in her yard. Police say there had been an ongoing dispute over the football and a child's parent called to report that Jester kept the ball after it landed in her yard again. "I'm 89 years old and I want a little peace of mind," Jester said. "This is my life here in this chair, looking out that door, and all I see is playing the ball down and all over and all over. If it doesn't come in my yard, OK, but if it comes in my yard, I'm going to get it. No trespassing."

3 of 6 comments (clear)

  1. Not theft by tompaulco · · Score: 1

    How can they charge her with theft? It was put into her yard multiple times, it belongs to her. End of story. I heard this on the radio the other day, and I couldn't believe that the cops didn't just laugh at the idiot who phoned it in. If my kids kept tossing their ball into somebody's yard, and the person didn't give the ball back, I'd tell them that they should have been more careful.

    --
    If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
    1. Re:Not theft by Kneo24 · · Score: 1

      Get over yourself. Kids lack control and finesse to be able to throw and or kick a ball where they want it to go 100% of the time. Ever try to catch a bad throw or a kick, and have it bounce off of you? That is, unless you never went outdoors as a kid. Then I can understand how you'd forget these things. They're kids. It's what they do. Stealing their toys only creates unnecessary tension in the neighbor. Just because you're old doesn't mean you have to be a cranky cunt either.

  2. clearly... by nimbius · · Score: 1

    the only solution is to send in SWAT. im certain theres a nice home for this woman to spend her days sewing wallets and counting the teeth that havent fallen out yet due to malnutrition.
    the ball should be enshrined by the city in a glass sarcophagus and given its own parking space, election checkbox, memorial park, plackard, billboard, road, bridge, seat at the local theatre, and most importantly 11 day state holiday
    . during which the townspeople all burn effigies of the old woman and sacrifice a senior citizen over a tire fire
    once normalcy has been restored and this menace safely put to death, football protection amendments can be introduced into the state and federal constitution so as the next time something like this happens
    the offending old fart is promptly ground into grade B dog food and forgotten about forever; their fillings having long since been used for football championship ring gold.

    the child should be given a 20 million dollar settlement and an invitation to "god old people suck" days, during which a football related speech will be given and van halen will play music about how much footballs rock

    anyone still reading?

    idle is pants.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.