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Reducing the Risk of Human Extinction
wiredog sends in a study from the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Center For Biosecurity, assessing risks of human extinction and the costs of preventing it. "In this century a number of events could extinguish humanity. The probability of these events may be very low, but the expected value of preventing them could be high, as it represents the value of all future human lives."
As long as we can round up a hardy crew of misfits and renegades and train them to be astronauts, we can handle anything!
Speak for yourself, human.
The general plan is to perform mass-cloning of the populace, and then send out hordes of colonization fleets to find habitable planets elsewhere in the galaxy... If we hit any rough territory, we'll just sing at the problem until it goes away!
Bow-ties are cool.
If we all die off, nobody is going to be around to lament the fact that we're gone.
Not true, as I have programmed Lamentobot for exactly this purpose, and his nuclear heart will ensure that he will be around to cry over the passing of human kind should we be wiped out any time in the next twenty thousand years.
The enemies of Democracy are
Things like a zombie apocalypse or raptors being resurrected and running amok. We need plans for dealing with those issues too.
-Ours is the wisdom of Solomon, the magic of Merlyn, the fall of Icaris.
If we all die off, nobody is going to be around to lament the fact that we're gone.
Obviously you haven't thought this completely through. Have you considered that the most likely cause of our extinction will be the invention of artificial intelligence robots that need to burn humans for fuel? Of course you haven't. Nobody does. The fools!
(and yes, the robots will lament the fact that they can no longer use carbon rich bipods for fuel)
All the statistitions and the fear mongers on 'B' ark, please.
Here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English.
I've thought about it, and what I came up with was the following: Meter? What? Huh?
If only that partner had a cat. Preferably a pregnant cat.
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Basically, we are all going to die, humanity is going to go extinct (if nothing else, the heat death of the universe will get us), and to think about the issue with any great thought is probably a waste of time.
Thankfully this is perfectly in line with my new investment strategy - Hookers, Blow, Jack Daniels and the Craps Table.
Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
APES! We should give the planet to apes!
Now we just need to figure out what to call the new planted. I suggest Ape World.
"Hello there ladies. Would any of you be interested in participating in my scientific experiment to reduce the risk of human extinction?"
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
The optimistic position is that peak oil is 20 years away. The pessimistic position is that peak oil was two years ago. Few think there's 50 years of oil left.
That's not so bad then. In the 70's we only had less than 10 years of oil left. Now we have 50 years worth. We've gaind 40 years worth of oil in the last 30 years!
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
It's the only way to be sure.
Imagine if there was a disaster in waltz time.
Unthinkable, yes?
The end of humanity should be in a dignified 4/4.
These movements have been around for millenia - predictably, they die out quickly.
Yeah, but even if you managed to do all of that, Madagascar would still close its ports and leave a remnant of humanity. So basically, there's no way to kill off the entire species.
God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
"Hello there ladies. Would any of you be interested in participating in my scientific experiment to reduce the risk of human extinction?"
Hah! That's great! I can just imagine how this would all go down... You'd tell the ladies how you're conducting a program to reduce the risk of human extinction and "preserve favorable genetic traits"... You'd, like, buy 'em a drink, take 'em back to the lab with you, then take a genetic sample, put it in the freezer and send 'em on their way...
Bow-ties are cool.
[Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
If we die off, then some other species will rise to the top, and learn from our mistakes. You'll see Walmarts and K-Marts and law firms run by super intelligent orangutans in snazzy new uniforms...
It's called the free market people. The sooner we learn to accept it, the sooner we can give way to our new furry overlords.