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Replacing Metal Detectors With Brain Scans
Zordak writes "CNN has up a story about several Israeli firms that want to replace metal detectors at airports with biometric readings. For example, with funding from TSA and DHS, 'WeCU ([creepily] pronounced "We See You") Technologies, employs a combination of infra-red technology, remote sensors and imagers, and flashing of subliminal images, such as a photo of Osama bin Laden. Developers say the combination of these technologies can detect a person's reaction to certain stimuli by reading body temperature, heart rate and respiration — signals a terrorist unwittingly emits before he plans to commit an attack.' Sensors may be embedded in the carpet, seats, and check-in screens. The stated goal is to read a passenger's 'intention' in a manner that is 'more fair, more effective and less expensive' than traditional profiling. But not to worry! WeCU's CEO says, 'We don't want you to feel that you are being interrogated.' And you may get through security in 20 to 30 seconds."
Can it also detect replicants?
"Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado!"
I can see it now...someone hacks the system and substitutes subliminal porn images for the bin Laden pictures. Talk about provoking a physiological reaction...
The NSA: The only part of the US government that actually listens.
"It is possible today to hijack an aircraft using only five or six able-bodied passengers who are well-trained in Kung Fu fighting," he says. "There is no technology in place in airports to detect a threat like that."
Well, no. Not unless you start putting Ninjas on every plane. Everyone knows that Ninjas > Kung Fu fighting.
Apparently, Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting...
tl;dr WTF?
At some point, people will get so pissed off at getting poked, prodded, searched, scanned, monitored and tracked to see if they are terrorists, that they will wind up deciding that it is actually easier to become terrorists themselves.
This is my sig.
as they're the only ones not worried about arriving at their destination late
But what if they are late arriving in paradise and someone else gets the virgins?
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
But what if they are late arriving in paradise and someone else gets the virgins?
I'm sure they've got that covered as part of the normal course of things. After all, the afterlife is the one place where everyone arrives late.
*ba-dum pssssh*
The enemies of Democracy are
as they're the only ones not worried about arriving at their destination late
But what if they are late arriving in paradise and someone else gets the virgins?
Sloppy seconds?
and any one how shows any smarts does not get the job.
And they STAY virgins!
Wouldn't it be ironic if they actually were virgins? "Your going to put WHAT in WHERE?", "Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Stop it! That hurts!" Hardly my idea of a good time ;)
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
Where do I sign up?
Follow the guys in fancy black suits and shades to the white unmarked van? Sure!
It's an israeli company. They'll probably just calibrate it with everyone who passes through their borders. Everyone would get grouped in to two categories. Israeli or Terrorist.
What about someone who is carrying a weapon without their knowledge? That won't show up on the scans.
No problem. All they have to do is ask each passenger if they packed their own bags and if they have been out of their possession at any time. If they lie, WeCU will detect it!
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
...or maybe they shuold keep those metal detectors - just in case.
no worries, there are enough slashdotters for everyone!
Yet another worthless security measure being sold to worthless security organizations.
Let's capitalize on that. We could go into the buisness of selling "anti-terrorism rocks" to the government and airports. I'll get the rocks, you sell it to the security orgs.
Let's not even start about false positives....
TSA Agent: Sir, please step aside for more screening.
Nervous Traveler: What seems to be the problem?
TSA Agent: You set off our Spazz Detect 1000 by your nervous behavior.
Nervous Traveler: Oh, that. Well, uh this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but you see I'm flying home to my wife and it seems I misplaced my wedding ring. Really.
TSA Agent: Uh-huh. Well, sir, we'd be more than glad to help you look for it. *snaps on rubber glove*
No sig for you!!
Guess I'll be driving for the foreseeable future. It's not all bad though -- you get to control the music selection and don't have to put up with shitty food and horrible customer service ;)
You obviously haven't been on a road trip with my wife.
until, of course, a non-marshal gets a hold of one of those guns...
Let's give every passenger a gun with only one bullet in it. Not enough to take over the plane or go on a killing rampage but it sure would be a deterrent to any would-be terrorist ;)
What could possibly go wrong?
You counter with Ninjas, then they counter with Pirates. You think the Ninja's will stand a chance against Kung-Fu Pirates? I shudder at the thought of what they will be stopped with.
Or, there could be subliminal/sub-aural phrases such as "The Bush", instead of "Bush"...
It would be funny if someone could hack the systems and generate lots of erections and pre-coital drainage in the waiting area... It would be... bemoaned, as it ... could.. become...the wading area...
The men's area could be called... "Area 5.1" (shorter for Area 51, for the obvious dimension."
The VIP lounge could be called "The SHAPE of Things to COME"....
Could give a whole new meaning to "The Day they Earth Stood... STEEL"...
Bumb-sniffing dogs could be "hot on the trail"...
I guess if everyone got besides themselves (and into others), everyone would qualify -- INstantly -- for a.. bum wrap... after hearing:
FREEZE: Hands in the air! Face the Mound!
and face even WORSE problems when in the interrogation rooms of airports, being asked questions such as:
"How many people are you traversing with? You sat in seat 15-A, next to Mr. X.B. We KNOW you are connected. Tell us, what is the size of her penis? What do you like to smoke?
Flying could become a ... hair-rowing ex-spear-e-ince...
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
You counter with Ninjas, then they counter with Pirates. You think the Ninja's will stand a chance against Kung-Fu Pirates? I shudder at the thought of what they will be stopped with.
Snakes?
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Well thats one virgin, 79 to go.
Any more volunteers?
After all, it's not like you'd look in your carryon half-way through the flight, find a gun you didn't expect there, and go "OMG! Got to hijack the plane!" ...unless someone asked you to, starting the sentence with "Would you kindly..."
Everyone would get grouped in to two categories. Israeli or Terrorist.
Right. Like when you go through Israeli passport control, and they ask
"Why are you here, business or pleasure?"
"Business"
"Occupation?"
"No, just a two day meeting."