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UK Cops Want "Breathalyzers" For PCs
An anonymous reader writes "One of the UK's top cyber cops, detective superintendent Charlie McMurdie, says the top brass want to develop the equivalent of a breathalyzer for computers, a simple tool that could be plugged into a machine during a raid and retrieve evidence of illegal activity. McMurdie said the device was needed because of a record number of PCs were being seized by police and because the majority of cops don't have the skills to forensically analyse a computer."
Won't that only work with alcohol cooled systems?
1) Hide a remotely detonatable explosive device in your computer /b/
2) Write a script to automatically crawl 4chan's
3) Be somewhere else when the party van arrives
4) KABOOM!
5) Nelson from the Simpsons would then usually say "ha-ha!" but he's locked up on child porn charges because he posted his own nudes on the internet.
Top brass also wants a date with Scarlett Johansson. And a pony for each officer on the force.
I figure the odds are about the same for each.
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
You cannot wash away blood with blood
Hey asshole, aren't search warrants supposed to explicitly specify what you're looking for? You seized the computer, it should've been for a specific reason, not to conduct a fishing expedition.
Duh! They're looking for Illegal Activity, which is the specific reason they seized the computer!
There is no -1 Disagree mod. Slashdot.org/faq defines mod options. USE IT.
I'll just use a hot glue gun to seal up all of my usb ports and use ps/2 connectors for mouse and keyboard.
fuzz: HOLY SHIT! THIS GUY MUST BE SOME SORT OF UBER_HACKER!!!
me: Too fucking right. Now you piggies hurry on back to the donut shop or I'll make your cruiser drive you down to the gay district on autopilot with YMCA blaring from the radio. (holds hands up over head, makes "whoooooooooing" scary sound, wiggles fingers menacingly)
fuzz: BETTER TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY! HE COULD DO IT!!
me: Heh. Wankers.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
well i *hic* thinkj tihs is a stipid idea, *hic* and sos ur mothar!1
Forget a tool for computers. We need a tool like this for physical crime scenes. You know: something that would, like, scan crime scenes and find, like, relevant DNA evidence and shit. It could even have an option where it would print out an arrest warrant with the name of the murderer on it.
the majority of cops don't have the skills to forensically analyse a computer
The majority of cops doesn't even have the skills to find my computer halfway up the old chimney;P However, I'm looking forward to the day they have to work their way through my massive computer-cemetery;->
0x or or snor perron?!
Okay, Sir. We'll just help you out by deleting all those pesky empty files and perform a wipe of your free space afterwards. This will recover all that space that you assure us has nothing of value in it. And then we'll check up on you every week or three just to ensure, mind you, that you don't have any of that pesky encryption stealing away your disc space any longer. It's just all part of the service.
"It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
What? I thought that movie was about the innovations in user interface!
Isn't there a plain-sight provision with that rule? If the cops have a warrant to search your house for crack, and see a dead body laying on the kitchen floor, they can go ahead and arrest you for murder.
On advice of my lawyer, I can't really say anything else.
God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
what does the SCOTUS have to say about its precedent applying in the UK?
There's an object lesson here.
Don't hide your crack stash inside the dead body laying on the kitchen floor. It doesn't work, it provides no cover in court, and the necessity of the search really pisses off John Law.
Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
McMurdie said the device was needed because of a record number of PCs were being seized by police and because the majority of cops don't have the skills to forensically analyse a computer.
I misread the article myself and thought "Wow, they need to breathalyze the cops before they even investigate computers?"
Why restrain cops at all? Why not just let them murder anyone they think might be guilty of something? We would all be so much safer then. *rolls eyes*
"But this one goes to 11!"
Because most criminals are idiots to begin with.
Sigh... You're right. Which is probably why there are so few elaborate bank-jobs, cunning cons, and ridiculously over-the-top plots to blow up buses that fall below 55mph, in the news. I like movies better than real life. Sigh...
... and that's when the C.H.U.D.'s came at me.
Actually, if you can hear music from the street, it can be called "unlicensed public performing/playing".
Extreme Programming - Redundant Array of Inexpensive Developers
In that case, I guess it'd be a really bad idea to install TrueCrypt unless you really do have something to hide. Wait, you have TrueCrypt installed?
Now, a clever man would have known it'd be stupid to install it if you have nothing to hide, because only a great fool would install it without having anything to hide! However, I am not a great fool, so I can clearly know that you're hiding something! But you must have known that I was not a great fool, in fact, you would have counted on it, so you clearly must be hiding something! Now tell us the password!
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
and with relatively good hardware (dual 64-bit CPUs, 10k RPM SATA drives, 4GB of RAM, etc.) it can take hours to perform even a simple search with a small list
I believe that's why Vista introduced Instant Search. Johnny Law just needs to call ahead and ask the suspect to ensure that it's enabled and properly configured. And that the suspect has at least 4GB of RAM installed, and dual 64-bit CPUs. Also, it would be helpful if the suspect left the computer on so the police don't have to wait around for Vista and Norton and HP to spin up. Hmm. I'm starting to see your point.
I am literally 3000 tokens away from the chaotic crossbow --Stephen
The rest go into software project management.
Proud neuron in the Slashdot hivemind since 2002.
Sadly if you were part of the police they'd expect you to take some kind of fitness test. The problem is the majority of geeks only have decent muscles in their fingers and right hand (from the mouse of course).
Good job managing to misread the summary.
Yeah! I didn't read the article or the summary and I can tell you I have the following strong opinion: There's no need for breathalizers for computers because if I pour alochol onto my computer it would short out. Therefore to determine if a computer has had alcohol just try and switch it on. If the power comes on and it boots, it hasn't had anything to drink.
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer