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Jobs Not Giving This Year's Macworld Keynote
Many readers including thermopile wrote in about Apple withdrawing from Macworld Expo after this year. The other bad news for Apple fans is that Steve Jobs won't be delivering the keynote in 3 weeks — we may have seen his last "one more thing." Apple VP Phil Schiller will be doing the honors. He's "an Apple executive notably lacking in Jobs's showmanship and star power," according to the Fortune blogger. Apple's press release states that "trade shows have become a very minor part of how Apple reaches its customers." While this may be true, the keynote addresses have been a critical venue for major new product announcements. Apple's stock is taking a 6% hit in after-hours trading, possibly on concerns about Jobs's health. Reader Harry has gathered together YouTube clips from most of the Macworld keynotes Jobs given since 1997.
Nooooooooo!!!
Fearless Leader, why have you forsaken us?
I promise not to bitch about the lack of firewire in the new Mac Minis, unlike my faithless ranting about the new MacBooks! Just come back.
If I don't get my regular of RDF rays I go all wonky and think about buying crap from Dell! Or running Darwin on a home built system as a back end media server!
Help us Steve Jobs, you're our only hope!
obviously no deficiencies vs. no obvious deficiencies
"Is there any other company with it's perception of viability so closely linked to a single living individual?"
I don't know, I think a lot of investors would be OK with Steve Ballmer keeling over.
obviously no deficiencies vs. no obvious deficiencies
Somebody think up something that includes the term "beleaguered".
That's why the imagineers invented animatronics.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
The Catholic Church(tm).
I'm pretty sure the reason that Jobs won't be presenting at MacWorld is that "One More Thing" at the expo will be a Cyborg Steve Jobs. It will be the most astoundingly fantastic reveal ever, and, if we're really lucky, Apple will be cutting legal department costs by equipping Cyborg Jobs with weapons (gotta make up for that 1% drop in computer sales). Awww... just imagine the smell of crackling bacon as tech journalists fry.
We know Steve is going to die, someday.
Why do you hate Apple? Hater.
There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
I think a lot of investors would be OK with Steve Ballmer keeling over.
Remember how HP's shares jumped when they threw Carlie over the side?
If I could get a tip from Ballmer's cardiologist, I just might buy some MSFT calls.
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
Right, because the Catholic church just couldn't get it together again after Saint Peter died. Oh, wait.
Risk of a rickroll? Pansy. Kids these days... In my day, we risked seeing a man with his anus stretched to almost athletic proportions or something even worse.
You kids with your 80s love ballads are so freaking spoiled.
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
Steve Jobs doesn't care about Mac people.
The cookie told me to.
And 2000 was the year of Linux on the desktop
Which is why Ubuntu is dominating the desktop market while Apple is fading away into oblivion. Ubuntu offers everything anyone could dream of on the desktop while Apple is listening to nobody.
This is all because all anybody cares about when using their home desktop is whether or not they can view the source code to the applications they run and if they can recompile the kernel. Usability has nothing to do with it for the average Joe.
We know Steve is going to die, someday.
Even if it's only for three days.
The 2009 keynote has happened. As expected, no revolutionary products revealed. Nothing of note. Just a refresh of the Mac Mini. Just as the mac faithful are just about to pour out of Macworld, downtrodden, a voice rings out of the microphone.
"Just one more thing."
Steve Jobs, healthy and fit and in his trademark turtleneck, stands with his hands clasped together at the podium. He smiles as the audience members fall silent, taking their seats. "We aren't quite done yet... Say 'hello' to the..."
New CEO of APPLE... (thunderous yet slightly confused applause dies down)
Jobs in a slightly coy flirtatious voice...."Come on out Steve"..
It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it.
But there's no Jobs to be found anywhere in this economy, so I'm not surprised the expo is also Jobs void.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Apple got really lucky with the iPod.
Yes, they were. And they were very lucky with the MacBook. And once again with the iPhone. Lucky bastards, making stuff that people actually want to buy. Jeez, what were they thinking?
I made the mistake of buying such a boring device. My iPod mini can't do any of the flashy stuff! It just plays mp3's. Granted, it does do this very well and with an easy navigable interface, but where's the fun in that?
Next time I'll buy a nice faeces-colored Zune and I'll be squirting with the jetset!
Hmm. Most people would also want coffee to brew in it, but to each his own, I guess.
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
He's "an Apple executive notably lacking in Jobs's showmanship and star power," according to the Fortune blogger.
Nonsense! Behold and rejoice! The era of Schillermania begins! Phil! Phil! Phil! Phil! Phil! Woooooooooot!
iPhone brought in the first touch screen
Right ...
No need to read further than that I guess ..
Dang! That was a close one.
That joke was headed straight toward your head but luckily you ducked in time.
My only political goal is to see to it that no political party achieves its goals.
that people going to MacWorld will be without Jobs?
You sir are a genius.
load "$",8,1
She's right. Apple is the AOL of mp3 players and has dumbed down the interface and lowered expectations so much that people think gapless playback or album art is a major advance in the state of the art.
Guess what: most people who buy "mp3" players want to (duh!) listen to music on them. Apple have provided a nice, clean, clear way of doing this, something which many other players (especially the cheap'n'cheerful ones) have made a complete pig's ear of (Windows Mobile, anyone?)
Geeks don't like having to use iTunes but obviously haven't spent enough time on the Helldesk to understand that lusers aren't always very good at copying files around, or working out what drive letter their USB device has appeared on.
Apple actually understands the difference between a general purpose computer that geeks can program and customise and a domestic appliance which "just works".
If you buy a general purpose computer from Apple these days, it comes with a complete set of developer tools and all the Unixy command-line goodness that a geek could want (or you can just slap Linux on it). Buy an iPod, however, and, shock horror, it works like an appliance in that is a bit closed with a simple interface, for much the same reason that TVs haven't come with vertical hold and convergence knobs since sometime last century.
gapless playback or album art is a major advance in the state of the art.
Yeah, I know - if only all those iPod customers realised that if they'd only applied the kgpzdzi patch to their lame tarball and re-built it with --enable-no-session-margin, then added the knobwurst repositories to their apt.conf and done apt-get upgrade xine that (provided they re-ripped their CDs with the -qZpxt options to cdparanoia) they could have had these features months before the iPod.
Plus, sadly, you only really need gapless playback for prog rock and the people who make Apple's money for them seem to prefer Britney.
Even the Amarok player, despite being named after a prog album with a single 60-minute track, seems a bit biassed towards track-based music.
In a survey of 100 programmers, 111111 thought that duck-typing was a good idea.
But...but...$5 billion or not, they were beleaguered! I read it several times on the internet, so it must be true.
Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
Maybe Steve will die for a few days and then come back from the dead, like Jesus.
We could crucify him - would that help? Let's try it.
Bow-ties are cool.
What if someone took a video of a goatse-style feat, and edited it to make it effectively lip-sync "Never Gonna Give You Up"? Best of both worlds?
Bow-ties are cool.
We know Steve is going to die, someday.
Even if it's only for three days.
Plus 1, Blasphemous!
Your mind is squeezed by a blast of pain!