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If Programming Languages Were Religions

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the worship-his-noodliness dept.

bshell writes "With Christmas around the corner I know we are all thinking about religion, or at least maybe wondering why this one religion dominates the rest for these few weeks. A fellow named Rodrigo Braz Monteiro (amz) posted this list comparing each programming language to a religion. Guaranteed to make you chuckle and generate a good long thread here on slashdot. Great way to pass the time as work winds down this week and we relate to our own programming faiths during this very special time of year. Merry PHPmas." Fortunately Pastafarianism is referenced.

5 of 844 comments (clear)

  1. I'm Atheist I suppose. by MouseR · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Objective-C isn't in the list. And that makes me happy.

  2. Theologians will disagree by Kupfernigk · · Score: 4, Interesting
    I think TFA suffers from the author not knowing an awful lot about the different religions.

    IMHO,

    • Java is more like Episcopalianism - it's based ultimately on C (Judaism) but rejects some of the more traditional ideas and allows for a wide range of interpretations.
    • Erlang is like Zen - initially hard to understand but based around some apparently simple but deep concepts. And yes, I have studied Zen, you insensitive clod!
    • C# is Mormonism - a kind of parallel reality to the mainstream Episcopalianism that is Java, and it costs more to join.
    • C++ is fundamentalist Christianity - at first sight it looks fine but you have to believe increasingly strange things the more you get sucked into it, and it can just blow up in your face without warning.
    • And COBOL is Islam - it has been around a long time, it is still widely believed in, it can be a bit narrow but for many of its believers it works extremely well.
    --
    From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
  3. Re:If Programming Languages Were Religions? by eldavojohn · · Score: 4, Interesting

    What do you mean "If"?! As a young man, I was saved by the one true C.

    Are you sure you can assert that?

    No, the 90s where a turbulent time filled with drugs, rock music and Java. I've largely lost my way for the cheap harlot of a language that runs on any platform. In a way, I miss the sharp sting of the preachers segfault against my knuckles, the way I would allocate and deallocate memory night after night over and over. Sometimes I look back and long for the purity that once was ... and curse the Sun Microsystem that lead me astray from the good letter.

    Often at home I resolve to code only in an efficient language. But in the morning when I wake up, I take the paycheck and do what greed drives me to do: Java.

    --
    My work here is dung.
  4. Re:wow by Tack · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The parent's post might be worded rather harshly and somewhat unfairly, but the general point is valid.

    During the Danish cartoon incident, I was quite surprised that the primary reaction of moderate Islam wasn't condemning the violence of their fellow Muslims, but rather insisting that the cartoonist should not have insulted their prophet.

  5. Re:I beg to differ by mattwarden · · Score: 4, Interesting

    So you've shown that religion isn't necessary for violence. I don't think that's what anyone is saying. Would you say it's easier or harder to organize a violent effort when religion is involved?