New Contest Will Seek the Best "I'm Linux" Video
LinuxScribe writes "From Apple's ubiquitous 'I'm a Mac,' to Jerry Seinfeld, to Microsoft's 'I'm a PC' retort, operating system commercials have been flooding the airways. Except that Linux is the one OS that has been notably absent. Now the Linux Foundation is launching a video contest on their new video site to fill this void. The winner gets a trip to Tokyo next year to participate in the Linux Foundation Japan Linux Symposium, and some serious geek cred."
The contest doesn't officially open until late January; the blog post has an email address to contact if you want to get a head start.
With all the distros out there vying for this, I'm sure this will end up being like Spartacus.
User: Which one of you is Linux?
Ubuntu: I am Linux!
Gentoo: No, I am Linux!
Red Hat: No, I am Linux!
SuSE: Don't listen to them - I am Linux!
Shouts from Slackware, YellowDog, DamnSmallLinux and thousands of others fill the air.
Funtime Candy Wow! - my plan for eventually conquering Japan.
You're welcome. Maybe you would prefer the alternate version where PC has leprosy, and server share drops off.
Help stamp out iliturcy.
A man walks to a corner and is solicited by two ladies of the evening.
(Windows) [dressed in fishnet and miniskirt] - "Wanna have a good time baby? I'm very popular, I do _all_ the fun things. [pause] I'm cheap."
(Mac) [catholic schoolgirl look with heavy makeup] - "Take me sweetie! I'm fun too and I'm cuter! [giggle, then dead serious] Not cheap."
[Mac and Windows get into a hair pulling fight while Marketing, old leering suited man, pulls up a jello filled wading pool.]
(Linux) [A girl next door type walks up] "Hi again, wanna grab dinner, [pause] I'm buying."
(Man) "Sure. Wait, you're buying? Do you expect to get paid?"
(Linux) "No, it might be nice if you buy some time, but that's up to you.
(Man) Dutch?
B) Eliminate all the stupid users. This is frowned upon by society.
Sorry dude the casting is done.
The answer, then, should be a Mac / PC ad spinoff where the "Mac" and "PC" start their banter, then "Linux" comes out as a Borg, injects itself into both, and we end up with all three as part of the Linux "community".
Picture an I'm a Mac/I'm a PC commercial as they typically start!
Richard Stallman shouts from offstage, "I'm linux, and I'm freee free FREEEE"
He the proceeds to prance naked around stage throwing rose petals to the ground as the other two are stricken with a deep terror.
Freeeee! Free freeeeee!
"Strangers have the best candy" -Me
I'll tell you the commercial they'd like to do, if they could, and I guarantee you, if they could, they'd do this, right here:
Here's the woman's face, beautiful.
Camera pulls back, naked breast.
Camera pulls back, she's totally naked. Legs apart.
Two fingers, right here, and it just says, "I'm Linux".
Now I don't know the connection here, but goddamn if Ubuntu isn't on my download list that week. -- Bill Hicks
Squirrel!
--
Brian: You are individuals!
The mass: (in unison) Yes! we are individuals!
Brain: You are all different!
The mass: (in unison) Yes! We are different!
Man in the mass: I'm not.
Men around him: Shhhhh!
--
Sorry. Can't help.
Colorless green Cthulhu waits dreaming furiously.
...and my axe!
No sig for the moment.
And in the credits a fat bearded guy yelling "I'm GNU/Linux".