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Software-Generated Paper Accepted At IEEE Conference
schlangemann writes "Check out the paper Towards the Simulation of E-commerce by Herbert Schlangemann, which is available in the IEEEXplor database (full article available only to IEEE members). This generated paper has been accepted with review by the 2008 International Conference on Computer Science and Software Engineering (CSSE). According to the organizers, 'CSSE is one of the important conferences sponsored by IEEE Computer Society, which serves as a forum for scientists and engineers in the latest development of artificial intelligence, grid computing, computer graphics, database technology, and software engineering.' Even better, fake author Herbert Schlangemann has been selected as session chair (PDF) for that conference. (The name Schlangemann was chosen based on the short film Der Schlangemann by Andreas Hansson and Björn Renberg.)"
Do not welcome our new computer-generated overlords.
In this letter, I would like to share with you some thoughts I originally organized to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. Let me begin by saying that IEEE's accusations are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive -- even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by IEEE's pompous, morbid claims, but its unedifying preoccupation with Jacobinism will steal the fruits of other people's labor before you know it. Excuse me; that's not entirely correct. What I meant to say is that I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that I want to lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Why can't we simply agree to disagree? Many people consider that question irrelevant on the grounds that we have a dilemma of leviathan proportions on our hands: Should we seek liberty, equality, and fraternity, or is it sufficient to shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity? Whenever that question is asked, IEEE and its apologists run and hide. I suspect that that's precisely what they're going to do now so as to avoid hearing me say that IEEE hates it when you say that it uses words like "historicocabbalistical" to give its bons mots an air of culture and elegance. It really hates it when you say that. Try saying that to it sometime if you have a thick skin and don't mind having it shriek insults at you. All of this once again proves the old saying that even IEEE's most dotty functionaries are trained in the use of force, deadly force, advanced weaponry, and offensive and defensive tactics.
My preferred name is frazz, but someone keeps taking it. If you see him, tell him I said hi.
Sorry for that rash comment. Sorry also for the self-response, but I don't want to waste anyone's time making them write a reply to that mess. Here, I've had a little more time to compose my thoughts. *ahem*
Something is happening here, and I'm getting a little worried. To get immediately to the point, whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may get people to sign a petition to limit IEEE's ability to cause trouble and, as the alternative, the gloomy and larcenous dirigisme currently being forced upon us by IEEE. Choose carefully because no matter how much IEEE's memoirs are rationalized, they still turn over our country to yellow-bellied sideshow barkers. That said, let me continue.
Forgive me, dear reader, but I must be so tactless as to remind you that a great many of us don't want IEEE to bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. But we feel a prodigious societal pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to its spiteful codices. If IEEE makes fun of me or insults me I hear it, and it hurts. But I take solace in the fact that I am still able to create and nurture a true spirit of community.
The important point here is not that IEEE has a taste for interminable controversy over minor questions. The vital matter is that IEEE claims that everyone who doesn't share its beliefs is a pretentious numskull deserving of death and damnation. Predictably, it cites no hard data for that claim. This is because no such data exist. I must emphasize this because IEEE says that it has its moral compass in tact. What it means by this, of course, is that it wants free reign to muster enough force to stigmatize any and all attempts to place blame where it belongs -- in the hands of IEEE and its bitter, crass lickspittles.
I, for one, have not forgotten that IEEE's a stupid person's idea of a clever organization. I have not forgotten that the popularity of IEEE's causeries among apolaustic psychopaths is a harbinger of unprofessional things to come. And I cannot forget that IEEE has declared that it's staging a revolt against everyone who dares to analyze its principles in the manner of sociological studies of mass communication and persuasion. IEEE's revolting all right; the very sight of it turns my stomach. All kidding aside, its understrappers like to say, "Mediocrity is a worthwhile goal." Such frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. If someone wants me to believe something feckless like that, that person will have to show me some concrete evidence. Meanwhile, I intend to show you that once one begins thinking about free speech, about narrow-minded, vulgar mythomaniacs who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own loathsome beliefs, one realizes that IEEE is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is busy trying to implement a deplorable parody of justice called "IEEE-ism".
The cure for corruption, conspiracy, and treason must start by exposing the problem to people who care and are not themselves corrupted. The same holds true for gormless pantywaists. Anyone who thinks that sesquipedalianism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society is not living in the real world. The denial of this fact only proves the effrontery, and also the stupidity, of eccentric, dodgy wantwits.
IEEE's ideologies are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. I might add: Griping about IEEE will not make it stop trying to violate strongly held principles regarding deferral of current satisfaction for long-term gains. But even if it did, it would just find some other way to dispense bread and circuses to insipid, shambolic prevaricators to entice them to cause offensive subversion to gather momentum on college campuses. The dim-witted Stalinism I've been writing about is not primarily the fault of primitive nutcases, nor of the bloody-minded shirkers who rifle, pillage, plunder, a
My preferred name is frazz, but someone keeps taking it. If you see him, tell him I said hi.