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Microsoft Invents $1.15/Hour Homework Fee For Kids

Posted by timothy on from the defining-the-edge-of-invention dept.

theodp writes "Microsoft's vision of your computing future is on display in its just-published patent application for the Metered Pay-As-You-Go Computing Experience. The plan, as Microsoft explains it, involves charging students $1.15 an hour to do their homework, making an Office bundle available for $1/hour, and billing gamers $1.25 for each hour of fun. In addition to your PC, Microsoft also discloses plans to bring the chargeback scheme to your cellphone and automobile — GPS, satellite radio, backseat video entertainment system. 'Both users and suppliers benefit from this new business model,' concludes Microsoft, while conceding that 'the supplier can develop a revenue stream business that may actually have higher value than the one-time purchase model currently practiced.' But don't worry kids, that's only if you do more than 52 hours of homework a year!"

8 of 580 comments (clear)

  1. In other news... by djupedal · · Score: 5, Funny

    MS has announced they will not enter the online porn industry until they can determine a way to charge by the erection - film at eleven.

    Said S.Balmer "Things are lookin' up!"

    1. Re:In other news... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      MS has announced they will not enter the online porn industry until they can determine a way to charge by the erection

      Man, talk about gettin' stiffed.

    2. Re:In other news... by Jim4Prez · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, the way MS is going, wouldn't they want to charge by "inch"? :-)

      $1 per erection is too cheap, they get get an _average_ of $6.15 per-erection charging by inch. Or in my case, about $9.00 ...cough, cough, cough. >:-)

  2. The Ultimate Steal? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Am I the only one who finds it pretty funny that Microsoft's response to piracy of Office (which, I would guess, is most popular among students) markets their $60 version, repeatedly, as a "steal?"

    1. Re:The Ultimate Steal? by Inner_Child · · Score: 4, Funny

      At least he's consistant!

      --
      Today is red jello day - all workers must eat all of their red jello. Failure to comply will result in five demerits.
  3. Behold the Cloud! by MarkvW · · Score: 5, Funny

    The user jacks his credit card into our system.
    We store user input.
    We process user input.
    We output processed data back to the user.
    We suck money out of the user's credit card account.

    Behold the cloud!

  4. Re:Only 52 hours of homework? by FluffyWithTeeth · · Score: 4, Funny

    I did far far less than 52 hours of homework a year.

    Thinking about it, there may be a reason I failed high school..

  5. Re:New model? by caerwyn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Um, we're talking about Microsoft here. It might be an *expensive* hotel, but I'm not sure I'd call it a *nice* hotel...

    --
    The ringing of the division bell has begun... -PF