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Steve Jobs' Macworld Keynotes, 1998-2008

Posted by timothy on from the should-have-employed-a-turtleneck-cannon dept.

Ian Lamont writes "The Industry Standard has put together a collection of video highlights from Steve Jobs' Macworld keynotes since his return to Apple in the late 1990s. It's interesting to watch. Jobs was basically able to turn tech product demonstrations into convincing consumer spectacles that made even the simplest product feature — such as the handle on the clamshell iBook — seem innovative and utterly desirable. And while his appearance changed greatly over the years (compare his 1998 iMac demonstration with his "iPod Mini" keynote in 2004, when he was reportedly trying to treat cancer with a special diet), his enthusiasm never waned. Of course, he may make appearances at Apple's WWDC or other events, but a Macworld expo with Phil Schiller headlining just won't be the same."

9 of 108 comments (clear)

  1. Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !!

    1. Re:Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

      I sat naked on the bench in the health club locker room, staring at the tiles on the floor between my feet, but really looking at nothing. I was waiting for Barack to decide to come up ant talk to me. He was this muscular middle-age nigger who frequented the club and had ruined my life in the last few weeks. I was ordered to sit naked on the bench without a towel or anything to cover my nakedness. I had to keep my legs spread and my cock and balls visible for the anyone In the locker room who wanted a look. I knew instantly that it had been a mistake to sign up at the inner city health club which was eighty percent black, but It was near my house and cheap which was even more important.

      The harassment had started on my first visit. Dark skinned, muscular senate aides bouncing around the locker room with their huge dicks and pendulous sacks of balls swinging, high fiving each other and laughing and rapping, and there I was, this moderately built white guy of thirty two.

      I will never forget coming back from the shower and one chocolate skinned thug of about eighteen let out a "weeeeeeeow" kind of sound and then said very loudly to me, loudly enough for all his pals to hear, "White man, how the hell can you fuck wit such a small dick?" They all roared with laughter and I turned bright red. Before I left that first time, I med Barack. He eased up to me while I was packing my gym bag. He is one good looking darkie, I will say that for him. He flashed me a big white toothed smile and said he hoped I wasn't thinking of quitting the club. He said he was friends with the manager and they had my address and shit, and it would be really unfortunate if I decided to quit. Then he laid one large basketball player sized hand on my shoulder and said that he would see me at the same time the next day.

      Well, that's how it started. It got worse each time I went to the club. Barack and the other niggers got me to get towels for them, had me scrub their backs in the shower, even made me pick their dirty stinking jock straps up off the floor. They sent their filthy jocks and socks home with me to wash for them.

      Now let me state here once and for all, that I am in no way at all gay. I don't think I ever even had a gay thought. So all of this really repulsed me. They would brush up against me so their big fat black dicks rubbed my body. They would make constant jokes about me being a faggot.

      So I had it out with Barack. I told him I was a single parent with a thirteen year old daughter and in no way gay, and I wanted to quit the club. That mention of my daughter was the biggest mistake of my life. Barack demanded to see a photo of her. Her name is Crissy. After that, all they talked about was "Crissy the Cunt" in the locker room.

      "Some congressman probably shoving his dick in her right now while you is at da club." They would say things like that. Barack would ask, "Do you suppose she had ever sucked black dick?" I told them she was totally innocent, and they should keep their foul mouths to themselves. They beat the shit out of me.

      I didn't go to the club for a week. All the windows were broken on my car, and my newspaper was stolen, and somebody pissed all over our door. I received a package at work, and when I opened it, there was a pile of shit in a box. I was going nuts with anguish. I thought of going to the police, but I knew I would face even worse if I did. So I went back to the club. That was two months ago. A lot had happened in those two months.

      Now I sat waiting for Barack to speak with me. He walked up, stark naked. The first thing I saw were his huge brown feet next to me. I looked up at his long muscular legs. How could I miss the seven inch flaccid dick, thick as a flashlight and the ball sack that looked like it had oranges in it. It was fucking obscene. His stomach was hard and tight. His ass was one of those round tight nigger bubble butts. His chest well defined with large nipples. He had a killer smile, thick nigger lips, and dark flashing eyes tha

  2. Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... by gbarules2999 · · Score: -1, Troll

    He's kind of like a priest. "Thou Mac is holy!" Everybody buys into it. Wait, would Jobs, in the Mac world, be the priest, or God Himself?

  3. Dickipedia by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Steve Jobs. Just thought I'd leave that here.

  4. Ep!?. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    the gay niggers Faster, Cheaper, BSD machines play area Try not of 0pen-source. and Juliet 40,000

  5. Re:Why are they stopping doing these? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Your reply is priceless. It should be posted in the Wikipedia as the quintessential example of an Apple apologist. It has all the hallmarks. Bravo, and well done!

  6. Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    he manages to always bring up an US versus THEM mentality, which is highly reminiscent of religion

    Sounds reminiscent of Democrats.

  7. Re:1997? by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 0, Troll

    he actually came back in 1996, announcing it in 1997

    I'm surprised he didn't announce it two years in advance. After all, isn't that what they do with their products?

    --
    Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
  8. Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... by Hognoxious · · Score: 1, Troll

    Alternatively, just click the icon

    Which button? Oh sorry, it's a Mac. My bad.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."