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Balancing Performance and Convention
markmcb writes "My development team was recently brainstorming over finding a practical solution to the problem that's haunted anyone who's ever used a framework: convention vs. customization. We specifically use Rails, and like most frameworks, it's great for 95% of our situations, but it's creating big bottlenecks for the other 5%. Our biggest worry isn't necessarily that we don't know how to customize, but rather that we won't have the resources to maintain customized code going forward; it's quite simple to update Rails as it matures versus the alternative. What have your experiences been with this problem? Have you found any best practices to avoid digging custom holes you can't climb out of?"
What you call "convention vs. customization" is really just a special case of "build vs. buy". You can research the standard factors that go into such a decision, but the most important one is whether the part you intend to build is both a) essential to the business and b) something that would give you a competitive advantage over buying.
I work on a major website, all done in Ruby/Rails. We, in contrast, have found that the tremendous ability to customize the framework is liberating, rather than constrictive.
Without knowing much more detail about your problem, it is difficult to give advice. Having created large, complex websites, and maintained them for long periods of time, we have yet to run into intractible problems as a result of the language or framework themselves. The fact that there are many large, complex Ruby on Rails websites being created and maintained by Fortune 500 companies also contradicts the idea that Ruby and Rails have serious, show-stopping shortcomings.
I strongly suspect that part of the problem is that you do not know your platform (in particular, Ruby) as well as you perhaps could. Ruby is very extensible via Gems that are freely available or that you can write yourself, or even just code modules. Rails is similarly, wonderfully extensible via plugins. Plugins are also freely available for just about every situation you can imagine, or again you can write your own.
Ruby is one of the most flexible languages in existence. Rails is hardly perfect, but any shortcomings are easy to code around by adding your own extensions. But expecting any framework to be complete for your purposes, before you begin, is pretty much wishful thinking.
Once again, I do not know enough about your situation. But if you expect any framework to be "plug and play" for very complex tasks, like an erector set, you will be disappointed. There is no substitute for knowledge of your platform, and programming ability.