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Stand-Up Comic Makes Science Funny
Hugh Pickens writes "The San Fransisco Chronicle is running a story about Brian Malow, a stand-up comedian who has showcased his science-centric stand-up humor for more than a decade in comedy clubs, at conventions and for corporate clients across the country. Fortunately, club patrons don't need a degree in quantum mechanics to appreciate one-liners like 'I used to be an astronomer, but I got stuck on the day shift,' 'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!' or that he 'attended a magnet school for bipolar students.' While his show is very rational and based on hard science, Malow cleverly infuses it with an abstract or surreal comic twist."
Hugh Pickens continues: "Like observing that whenever his mother would lose weight, his father would gain weight, and then linking the two by a fundamental law of nature. 'It was like the Conservation of Mass within our family,' says Malow, adding that 'fat can neither be created nor destroyed.' Last year Malow performed for colleagues at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena. 'We found his humor delightfully nerdy, and he fitted right in,' said Kevin Grazier, who is a planetary scientist and author. 'It's one thing to make people laugh when they're sitting in a darkened club room, with a few drinks in them. It takes real talent to be funny in the afternoon, in a work environment.' Malow's interest in science and nature also extends to his passion for insects, with Web site InsectPaparazzi, and he has even discovered a species of fly. 'Of course, I found it in Golden Gate Park,' he says. 'So it may have just been a tourist.'"
"How much for a drink?"
The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
Because the stand-up science comic performing at the theater wasn't very funny.
I think Big Bang Theory does a good job of science jokes.
Anyone wanna summarize the article and let us know how's that working for him?
Is this comedian unionized?
Nope, he's just really positive. :P
I searched for clips of him on YouTube.
Here's a really funny ~7minute video with highlights from a couple of his shows:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn8uzB0eypk&feature=related
The man is a genius.
-"Those who fought today will die tommorow."-
'We found his humor delightfully nerdy, and he fitted right in,' said Kevin Grazier, who is a planetary scientist and author.
Ugh, really? It's hard to keep feeling superior to the artsies when other scientists are using words like 'fitted' in this context.
I disagree. Slashdotters submit hilarious stuff from "work" most afternoons.
Oh, yeah, it's not easy to pad these out to 120 characters.
Stud dogs go about the whole sex thing rather differently than primates (or equines). Unlike us, male canines don't have an orgasm that involves a short, intense ejaculation. Instead, once they have become fully erect, they will have a continuous orgasm for from 10 to 45 minutes or longer. The "standard" procedure for dogs, when they are mating, is that the male "ties" with the bitch - which means that, after he has penetrated fully, his penis will develop a knot at its base that is several times wider than the rest of his shaft.
For reference, a 80 pound Golden stud dog might have, let's say, a cock that is 7 or 8 inches long when erect - but his knot will be at least as big around as a tennis ball. This knot swells inside the bitch, and so long as he remains erect the dogs are "tied." No, this isn't painful for her - canine females long ago developed an entire set of muscular supports for this process. Generally, once they are tied, most stud dogs prefer to step off and over, so he and the bitch are tail-to-tail. Theories abound on why this evolved - I have yet to see one that was truly convincing. Anyway, they'll stand like this, with the male having a continuous orgasm during the whole tie - until he starts to shrink and they pop apart. Bitches also have orgasms, and she'll likely have quite a few during the tie, as well - research has shown that her orgasms are essential to increasing the chances of pregnancy, due to muscular contractions.
Anyway. if a guy like me has a stud dog partner, one form of intimacy is for him to tie with us, anally. As young teenagers, many of us learned the hard way about the knot, and the tie - particularly back in pre-interweb days. So we'd suddenly find ourselves locked together, with this tennis-ball width cock inside us. Nowadays, I suspect most young zoos know all about this. However, some folks still have eyes bigger than their stomach, err their you-know-what.
It would not be accurate to say that I have a stream of visitors who show up at my house just for sex with my canine partners. However, it is true that I do not exercise any sort of unilateral control/ownership over the relationships my canine boys might develop with other people - they are adults, and if they desire to get frisky with another two-legger and I judge that the person is respectful and unlikely to do anything mean or stupid, I have no moral ground on which to say "oh, no, you aren't allowed - he can only have sex with me." That just makes no sense, so if there's a time when a friend is visiting and there's a spark between them and one of my partners, I'm ok with that. In truth, I think it's great to have the boys' enjoy other positive relationships and I love to see them happy, whatever the circumstances.
Many years ago, my friend Commander Taco was visiting - a zoo who had been active with his own stud dog for quite a few years. His boy was a breed that is not small, but is also somewhat known by old-school zoos as being, well, on average not so well-endowed relative to their body size. This friend had tied with his partner on a number of occasions - and he often talked about how intense and rewarding the experience was, for both of them. That's great, I said - while thinking that he'd probably not fare so well with a larger breed.
As it turns out, Taco and one of my canine friends hit it off quite clearly right from the get-go - the chemistry was there and the two of them seemed like they'd known each other for ages. After several visits, I could see that they were sort of getting closer and closer - my friend Taco was worried that I'd feel he was somehow intruding into my relationship with this handsome stud dog - who had been in my own family for close to a decade. Of course not, I told him - if you guys hit it off and things get steamy, I'd hardly throw cold water on it just so I can be all possessive and insecure. HOWEVER, I warned him, that handsome boy with whom you're making goo-goo eyes is much bigger than your own long-time partner.
I tried to be nice about this
'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!
Turns out the zebra did it.
"Good morning my good man! How much for one of your wonderful beverages?"
The bartender replied, "You sound positive."
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beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
No he's just crap!
Engineering is the art of compromise.
Q: Why did the mathematician have complex numbers on his telephone?
So he could call all his imaginary friends.
The biologist asked the chemist "How do you find the total charge of an ion?" The chemist says "Step #1 - decide if the cation is one showing variable charge. If so, a Roman numeral will be needed. In this case, iron does show variable charge." "If a variable charge cation is involved, you must determine the Roman numeral involved. You do this by computing the total charge contributed by the polyatomic ion. In this case, NO3Â has a minus one charge and there are two of them, making a total of minus 2." "Therefore, the iron must be a positive two, in order to keep the total charge of the formula at zero." "Step #2 - determine the name of the polyatomic ion. Nitrate is the name of NO3Â." "The correct name is iron(II) nitrate. The common name would be ferrous nitrate. " The biologist says "Oh. Thank you."
I think it's about time you assholes get out of your ivory tower and realize your smugness and your lousy programming language does nothing but keep Computer Science back 20 years. Big deal! your precious C language can access the hardware. Big Whoop! you have no build in print function. I think it's about time to stop masturbating to your boring interrupt calls and grow up. The world is evolving and if we keep outself stuck to that crud that is C, we will no achieve worth while computing. So many projects would be so much better if your legacy dated language wasn't chosen. Yeah, I'm looking at you Linux and GTK. Writing a successful GUI program in C is just as ridiculous and time consuming as it gets. Grow up and realize there are other languages that are better suited for work rather than self satisfactory masturbation you retards get. Fuck Kernighan and Richie, those guys wrote good stuff back in the 70s when the tool was needed for the job. So while you are hunting down malloc() calls because that GUI that took you 10 years to write and pissing on itself in memory leaks the rest of the world will actually be getting some work done.
Whenever I've gotten a speeding ticket, I've thought about arguing with the Judge that the cop was lying on the ticket. He noted both where I was and how fast I was going, and since he can only measure one of those things, he's clearly lying about the other.
-"Those who fought today will die tommorow."-
Pull harder, mom. I miss you.
Does having a witty signature really indicate normality?
I'd credit Bill Nye with being one of the first to make science funny. Maybe he wasn't as good as this guy, but I always appreciated the dry humor as a kid.
Science rules!
Remember, Math and alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and derive!
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
This story reminds me of Tom Lehrer, an MIT professor of mathematics that had a penchant for song-writing and performing. And he was really quite hilarious.
e.g. the famous "chemical elements" song :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYW50F42ss8
A: Wait, I can explain Everything! It's not what it looks like!
-- Subvert the dominant paradigm. Repeat as desired. http://ownlifeful.com/
Look up that little ditty -- about a love story between two atoms. "...Sodium cried, 'What a gas - be my bride! And I'll change your name from Chlorine to Chloride..." One of the greats.
Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
I live for this stuff!
it is better than the usual frosty piss shit. Anyhow, if you google it you will see it is used often, unattributed.
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
he he.
Correction: I didn't discover a new species of fly - but I did take a picture that may be the first known occurrence of a particular species in this part of the world (the Nearctic): http://bugguide.net/node/view/21487 (but it's a species known in other parts of the world)
Do you really think the song 'Fight Fiehcely, Hahvahd' came from an MIT professor?
You're pretty fly for a science guy
Harvard alumnus, MIT prof, eventually UCSC, etc etc etc etc yawn...
FTFA:
And when Malow quips that he "attended a magnet school for bipolar students," even English majors will chuckle, subconsciously recalling some distant high school science fact.
English students don't know that magnets have poles. Geek wars, begin!
*First casualty due to each side's belief that he is a double-agent*
If you look carefully that's a Greek theta in his last name, so the correct transliteration is Malthw.
But, I wanted socialized health insurance!
You mean he regurgitates the same material and then laps it back up after the audience has had a reaction?
Every mans' island needs an ocean; choose your ocean carefully.
Randall Munroe already did it with XKCD. More geared towards the /. audience, but come on:
"Man, I suck at this game. Can you give me a few pointers?"
"0x3A28213A, 0x6339392C, 7363682E."
"I hate you."
Ernie Cline's "Nerd Porn Auteur".
O lord, bless this thy holy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.
Which in turn reminds me of this song, by the Klein Four Group: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTby_e4-Rhg
Good call, but it reminds me more of "The Far Side".
A little offtopic, but I remember hearing a few years ago about a professor who had written and/or gathered together a bunch of song parodies and rhymes which served as mnemonics for students. I vaguely recall they were all biology related.
Unfortunately, I can't remember much about his/her name or school, and I figured this was as good a topic to ask the folks here.
Heisenberg was pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks "Do you have ANY idea how fast you were going?"
"No but I know EXACTLY where I am"
I don't know if there are good futurama sites, but I'll tell you who (or rather what) can:
http://www.ovguide.com/
It's a list-of-lists for sites with video content of all forms.
Furry cows moo and decompress.
You forgot NSA spook and inventor of Jello shots...
Don't all comedians?