Slashdot Mirror
Feds To Offer Cash For Your Clunker
coondoggie sends along a NetworkWorld piece that begins, "The government... wants to motivate you to get rid of your clunker of a car for the good of the country (and the moribund car industry). A 'Cash for Clunkers' measure introduced this week by three US Senators, two Democrats and a Republican, would set up a national voucher program to encourage drivers to voluntarily trade in their older, less fuel-efficient car, truck, or SUV for a car that gets better gas mileage. Should the bill pass, the program would pay out a credit of $2,500 to $4,500 for drivers who turn in fuel-inefficient vehicles to be scrapped and purchase a more fuel-efficient vehicle."
Who told you that CO2 is the only emission that we should be concerned with? Personally, I've never caught a whiff of CO2 and thought to myself "Ack. My lungs!" Honestly, there are worse emissions, albeit possibly in smaller quantities. I'm certainly no expert on the matter.
Insert self-referential sig here.
[citation needed]
Hello, and think about your breathing.
Yes that's right, think about your breathing. Why you might ask? Well it's simple!
Your brain usually takes care of breathing for you, but whenever you remember this, you must manually breathe! If you don't you will die.
There are also many variations of this. For example, think about:
Blinking!
Swallowing saliva!
How your feet feel in your socks!
Your parents having hot sweaty sex!
In conclusion, the think about your breathing troll is simply unbeatable. These 4 words can be thrown randomly into article text trolls, into sigs, into anything, and once seen, will force the victim to take care of his breathing manually! This goes far beyond the simple annoying or insulting trolls of yesteryear.
In fact, by even responding to this troll, you are proving that it has claimed another victim -- You!
It might be nice from a social engineering standpoint, or even environmentally sound because you're taking old gas-guzzling, soot-spewing cars off the road, but it's most certainly NOT good economics.
I mean, why stop at this paltry incentive plan??
Why not use the US Military and fire rockets at every car currently on the road?
You'd create jobs in emergency response, clean-up, road reconstruction, military weapons development (gotta replace all those missiles!), AND the auto companies! Zero percent unemployment here we come!