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Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

Posted by samzenpus on from the sending-the-wrong-message dept.

If one of these dolls were human sized, the circumference of her head would be five and a half feet.

24 comments

  1. Almost funny by sanso999 · · Score: 1

    Not sure why, but the "hammer to the head" idea in the video makes the whole story lose whatever funny it had. Maybe it's just me and over-over-over-dramatization.

    1. Re:Almost funny by ebuck · · Score: 1

      Well, that's the Onion. Satire doesn't cut it when you break form halfway through through the joke. Personally, I was laughing so hard that I think I might have a swollen neck, which will probably make my head look even smaller.

      Also I love the auto recall at the end of the piece, airbags that could deploy mid-blowjob are a menace to everyone.

    2. Re:Almost funny by Straker+Skunk · · Score: 1

      Yeah, I thought so too---quite a slip for the Onion's usual pitch-perfect satire.

      They should have gone with something like, "One day, I found her staring at herself in the mirror, wearing her older brother's football helmet..."

      --
      iSKUNK!
  2. WTF??!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Society is focused on women's *head* size? What about the more uh, traditional body parts.

  3. The saddest thing I ever saw by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Forget about Iraq, homeless people, cancer, civil wars in Africa that are taking decades to finish, AIDS, George Bush, September 11th. Girls wishing to have skull implants really make my cry my eyes out. Sorry.... Im getting too emotional... I should stop writing now... Yes, somethings are just too hard to look at.

  4. head size by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    yea cause girls that ugly are never ganna get the big cock.

    oh THAT head size...

  5. Hammer jokes by Derrike · · Score: 1

    I love how the Onion hits so many nails on the head (It's kinda hard not to hit a nail while wielding a hammer) but in the same, I'm distraught by how many people manage to completely miss the honest satire it provides.

    1. Re:Hammer jokes by MyLongNickName · · Score: 1

      Maybe it is a function of age. After having read the Onion online for years, you start to see the same formula applied to articles over and over. it almost becomes predictable. There are very few "original" ideas. I think the same thing with Saturday Night Live.

      And if Slashdot is supposedly a techie site, why can't they fix the 1.5" wide comment box?

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    2. Re:Hammer jokes by lysergic.acid · · Score: 2, Insightful

      And if Slashdot is supposedly a techie site, why can't they fix the 1.5" wide comment box?

      i think it's a test. if you're a real nerd, then you should be able to whip up a greasemonkey script to fix the idle section's fucked-up fucked-upped-ness.

      that includes the iPhone-sized textarea, as well the annoying way that pressing the "Reply to This" button causes the "Parent" button and all of the content after it to shift down about 5 pixels.

    3. Re:Hammer jokes by Fulcrum+of+Evil · · Score: 1

      I think the same thing with Saturday Night Live.

      No, SNL just sucks. The stuff with Steve Martin is still funny 20 years later. Current stuff, not so much.

      --
      "We returned the General to El Salvador, or maybe Guatemala, it's difficult to tell from 10,000 feet"
  6. And Anime by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Gives Otaku unrelalistic expectations of Eye Size, Hair Color, and tentacles. Lulz I' am the 5, funny now -1, troll me from your r00ted debian box with your ssh links!

    Trolls, telling virgin linux zealots the truth every year on the desktop!

  7. Ugh, sucky video player by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Something is wrong with that Flash video player. It eats memory until the kernel kills Firefox.

    Fucked up a database import I had been running for 3 days too.

    The player tried to eat all 8 GB of RAM on the machine, WTF!

    1. Re:Ugh, sucky video player by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Something is wrong with that Flash video player. It eats memory until the kernel kills Firefox.

      Fucked up a database import I had been running for 3 days too.

      The player tried to eat all 8 GB of RAM on the machine, WTF!

      You fail at... everything.

    2. Re:Ugh, sucky video player by spazdor · · Score: 1

      Let's recap. Your browser allowed an inline plugin to runaway with the RAM, your kernel somehow failed to prevent the browser malfunction from fucking up a completely different process on your computer, and you're blaming the video app itself?

      --
      DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
  8. why the heads? by MorePower · · Score: 3, Insightful

    What if the heads are perfectly normal sized and they just have ridiculously small bodies?

    1. Re:why the heads? by Arrakis+Dv8r · · Score: 1

      Ahh, you're one of them.. Not glass if half full, or half empty.. You're a 'Glass is incorrectly designed for the amount of liquid it currently holds' sort of people.

    2. Re:why the heads? by jonbryce · · Score: 1

      And what if they have ridiculously small heads and even more ridiculously small bodies? And normal sized eyes.

    3. Re:why the heads? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      hello
      i want see you.
      ID:hamedourmaz

    4. Re:why the heads? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This has generally been my assumption. The push to size zero has been oppressive. Of course this could be satire. No matter how tiny you make your body, your head will still be too big. Maybe it is time to try binding.

  9. She's got a head like a.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Horse... Dog... Pig... Ape... Bratz Doll... lol women might actually take the bratz doll comment as a compliment if this story has any truth....

  10. Bratz is nothing by tepples · · Score: 1

    Bratz is nothing. If you want to see big-headed dolls, look at Sam Butcher's Precious Moments or Fisher-Price's Little People or Nintendo's Smash Bros.

  11. so? by dagarath · · Score: 1

    And plastic surgery is giving young girls appropriate expectations for any number of body parts?

    1. Re:so? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Congratulations on spelling out the joke. A complementary ham is winging its way to you as we speak.