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Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon "Batleth"
mnovotny writes "Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores, armed with a Klingon 'Batleth' sword inspired by the Star Trek science fiction series.
They did appear more human in the original series."
only outlaws will have batleths...
is one of the Rites of Ascension. While it is inevitable that a boy becomes a man, what is not inevitable is whether a man becomes a warrior. That is, until he robs a 7-eleven.
It's not a "Batleth", it's a "Bat'leth". Without the apostrophe it just looks ridiculous.
Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and stupid comments are intentional.
Yes, we must ban replica weapons that are only made for killing large numbers of people! Protect the children!
These "assault swords" have features like extra cutting edges, and allow the evil person using one to swing it in both directions, thereby killing more people.
The user's hands are placed a little differently than on traditional swords, meaning the user can swing with more power and hit more people at once.
They're made of cheap metal, which is more dangerous than regular steel because it's more powerful and stronger than a real sword!
And they have engravings in an unknown foreign terrorist language, which tells the user how to be deadly assassin. And there's obviously no need for engraving on a sword.
And obviously, if we ban them, they'll all magically go away, because we know that criminals who like to commit acts of violence will be scared of the law that bans their swords. Nobody will ever make one themselves, or sneak one in through the black market, and there are no legitimate uses (such as movie props and reenactments) for these weapons.
The meek may inherit the earth, but the strong shall take the stars.
We can start with the delightful observation that both clerks (Clerks?) recognised it as a Bat'Leth, and better, that the second one had the nuts to tell this honourless p'tak to go screw a goat. Even Star Trek nerds aren't afraid of other Star Trek nerds.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
...and I never will. I can never forgive them...for robbing my 7-11.
1 (short ton / firkin) = 89.1432354 slugs / keg
I wonder if the investigating police showed up in Enterprise Uniforms. 'This is highly illogical, Leutenant'
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
WWAKD (What Would A Klingon Do?)
Rob a 7-11, apparently. How else does a warrior fund a Bird of Prey in this economy?
"Who modded this informative? Whoever it is must've been smokin' some of that martian pot!"
Yeah, it's just a shame neither of the clerks were in red shirts!
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Randall: Worse than getting robbed by some f'n Star Trek geek?
Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
can we all cross our arms and turn around now?
DRM-free indie games for the PC and Mac: Positech Games
Yeah, it's just a shame neither of the clerks were in red shirts!
If they had been the headline would be: Man Commits Murder With Klingon Bat'Leth
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
I was hoping to make a big impact when I start robbing stores with my lightsaber, but it looks like some trekkies stole my thunder.
don't you mean that he should be stripped of his grandmother's basement and his MMORPG accounts?
(insert another dickhead buzz-kill reference...)
will he be considered and "Ex-KAHN!"?
Sig Follows: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
I'll take his Batleth, thank you.
If his grandmother bakes excellent cookies, I'll take her too.
I'm glad you linked to Michael Dorn because nobody on /. would have known who he was if you hadn't ;)
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
The mods are without honor and should be stripped of their karma and titles, face discommendation, and sent to work the mines on Rural Penthe.
Free Martian Whores!
You can keep it inside any convenient Romulan corpse.
Dark Reflection
don't you mean that he should be stripped of his grandmother's basement and his MMORPG accounts?
And he should be stripped of his "Chewbacca is my copilot" T-shirt immediately!
Ugh! Oh God! That was a mistake. Put the shirt back on! Put it on! You can keep it, I'm sorry.
The enemies of Democracy are
If someone came at me with a Bat'leth all I'd be thinking is 'Is today a good day to die?'
Conservation of angular momentum makes the world go round.
We actually have a good story on Idle. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.
There is no -1 Disagree mod. Slashdot.org/faq defines mod options. USE IT.
Since pain sticks weren't available for his initiation he had to settle for brain freeze.
Back in college, I had a friend who was into the Society for Creative Anachronism thing. He got burgled one night while he was home, and sent the intruder to the hospital with wounds from a broadsword. You don't see that every day.
Apparently he was stark naked when he attacked, too. Dunno if he bothered to cover himself with woad before the battle.
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"