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Is the Relational Database Doomed?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the just-more-tools-in-the-bucket dept.

DB Guy writes "There's an article over on Read Write Web about what the future of relational databases looks like when faced with new challenges to its dominance from key/value stores, such as SimpleDB, CouchDB, Project Voldemort and BigTable. The conclusion suggests that relational databases and key value stores aren't really mutually exclusive and instead are different tools for different requirements."

21 of 344 comments (clear)

  1. Uh-oh by benjymouse · · Score: 5, Funny

    Someone forgot to put a where clause on that delete.

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  2. Top 25 Reasons the Relational Database is Doomed by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Someone type this up and submit it to Digg.

  3. Re:new record by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeaah. Only if you did not know the meaning of the '?' symbol.

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  4. Voldemort! by GreatRedShark · · Score: 3, Funny

    There's a db called Project Voldemort? That's awesome! I'm switching to that just for the name! I think my manager is a Harry Potter fan so getting approval shouldn't be too hard.

    1. Re:Voldemort! by youthoftoday · · Score: 4, Funny

      A Harry Potter fan? Voldemort? Surely the name is the one thing that'll *prevent* approval?

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      -1 not first post
    2. Re:Voldemort! by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

      The name might be cool; but the length of some of the commands will really get to you. How many times do you want to type AVADA_KEDAVRA TABLE?

    3. Re:Voldemort! by the_B0fh · · Score: 4, Funny

      **SPOILER ALERT**

      In book 8, it turns out that good ol' Voldy is actually Harry's older brother. They had a tearful reunion, and Voldy now works for Harry.

    4. Re:Voldemort! by jollyreaper · · Score: 5, Funny

      The name might be cool; but the length of some of the commands will really get to you. How many times do you want to type AVADA_KEDAVRA TABLE?

      Better than PokemonDB. Then you have to jump on top of your desk and shout "Customer Table, I select you!" every time you run a damn query.

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      Sell the spice to CHOAM
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    5. Re:Voldemort! by GreatRedShark · · Score: 5, Funny

      You're right, that is a bit cumbersome. Hopefully, they'll release a friendly GUI wizard to make working with it more efficient.

    6. Re:Voldemort! by WuphonsReach · · Score: 4, Funny

      Better than PokemonDB. Then you have to jump on top of your desk and shout "Customer Table, I select you!" every time you run a damn query.

      *polite golf clap*

      --
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    7. Re:Voldemort! by daveime · · Score: 3, Funny

      It's already been done ...

      HAI
      CAN HAS DBASE?
      I HAZ A VARIABLE1 IS NOTHING
      IM IN YR DATA ;) "test.mdb"
              CAN I PLZ GET column1 column2 column3
              ALL UP IN table1
              OMG column1 IZ BIGGER THAN 5
              ALL UR BASE R BELONG 2 VARIABLE1
      IM OUTTA YR DATA
      VISIBLE VARIABLE1
      KTHXBYE

  5. A great open source implementation by thammoud · · Score: 5, Funny

    Map db = new HashMap();

    beginTransaction(); // Synchronize on the map
    db.add("key", "value");
    commitTransaction(); // Just serialize the fucker to a file. The idiots using this won't know the difference.

  6. In relation to what? by Penguinshit · · Score: 5, Funny

    I won't believe it until Netcraft confirms it.

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  7. Re:Yeah by idontgno · · Score: 3, Funny

    Is white the new black?

    No, it isn't, black is the new black, and whiten and black are not really mutually exclusive. And.... I made you look. Thanks for the pageviews, suckers!

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  8. Re:Enough with the death of the relational DB by Penguinshit · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't online dating sites use relational databases?

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  9. Re:?'s meaning - literal and implied by 117 · · Score: 5, Funny

    President Obama smokes crack?!!?!??!!?!

  10. Re:new record by julesh · · Score: 5, Funny

    that's efficient -a summary that refutes the inflammatory headline

    I'm just sayin'

    Nah. Efficient would be if the summary were "No."

  11. Re:new record by eln · · Score: 4, Funny

    Next Slashdot article: Is Jah-Wren Ryel a child molester?

    There's no evidence Jah-Wren Ryel has ever molested children, and no reason to suspect he would ever do so. Bandying about accusations like that would likely ruin his life forever.

    However, since child molestation is such a big political issue these days, as a responsible news site I believe we need to have equal representation from both sides of the argument and let our viewers decide.

  12. Re:?'s meaning - literal and implied by value_added · · Score: 4, Funny

    President Obama smokes crack?!!?!??!!?!

    Dunno. Has he stopped beating his wife?

  13. A SQL query walks into a bar... by SystematicPsycho · · Score: 4, Funny

    A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'

    From Tom Kyte's blog sql joke

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  14. Re:Enough with the death of the relational DB by Yetihehe · · Score: 3, Funny

    They do. Object databases are only for insensitive clods.

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    Extreme Programming - Redundant Array of Inexpensive Developers