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Does Your Vendor Issue Gag Orders?
Presto Vivace writes to tell us that CIO has an interesting article about customer "gag orders" that some ERP vendors are trying to impose contractually. "The effect: customers will be prevented from working with peers and others in the software company's "ecosystem" to help with technical issues or compare pricing options. 'In addition,' Wang adds, 'the customer now lacks the proper checks and balances in pressuring a vendor to deliver on promised capabilities or address severe security issues, and cannot go to the media as a last resort, if needed.'" What other questionable practices (and potential solutions) have others had to work with?
I just got an email from my boss that our proposal to switch to a new reporting tool, mostly due to the licensing BS the old company tried to pull, has been approved. The moral? Don't pull this shit or you'll get dumped. Rewriting all of our reports in the new environment is going to be expensive, but cheaper, in the long run, than dealing with that sleazy company.
"and cannot go to the media as a last resort, if needed.'"
Is that a joke? What an interesting story that would be.
Whale
my ass is on fire you dick face
Call customer support for assistance. Depending on your level of support, we may have a technician on site to deal with your ass fire in as little as 24 hours.
Please do not attempt to solicit help extinguishing your ass from any other source, as this would violate your terms of service. Also, you are reminded that comparing notes with other customers regarding the cost, support level, or any other aspect of your ass extinguishing service will likewise be in violation of the terms of your contract.
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Well, it IS a bit unusual for a company with which you have a vendor relationship to send YOU an order, but if your company makes the best in a variety of gags and other imprisonment equipment and they have a specific use for them, then there could be perfectly reasonable explanations as to why they might want to...
What?
That's not it?
Oh.
Doesn't matter. In fact, makes more sense, really, there's not much business in the gag industry. Might raise some eyebrows, especially with a company acting as a vendor to others. However, everybody needs a good laugh now and then, and if your company makes some decent gags and other tomfoolery to go around, then I can certainly...
What NOW?
It isn't?
Are you serious?
Well, that IS a bit shameful, then. I mean, your company's time and effort is very important, and it can't be stuck wasting both dealing with phony "gag" orders. In fact, there should be laws against it, though I get the feeling these are a bunch of punk kids trying to...
Look, if you're going to keep interrupting me...
What do you MEAN "wrong again"?!?
*sigh* All right, fine, YOU make your own damn comments, all right?
Honestly, can't figure out just what it is you people want from me...
Demanding constant attention will only lead to attention.
If you're a CIO, and you sign something like this, you should lose your job.
-1 Uncomfortable Truth