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The Art of The Farewell Email
With so many people losing their jobs, the farewell email, letting colleagues and contacts know where you are moving and how you can be reached, has become common. Writing a really good one, whether it be funny, sad or just plain mad is an art form. Chris Kula, a receptionist at a New York engineering firm, wrote: "For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support." In May, lawyer Shinyung Oh was let go from the San Francisco branch of the Paul Hastings law firm six days after losing a baby. "If this response seems particularly emotional," she wrote to the partners, "perhaps an associate's emotional vulnerability after a recent miscarriage is a factor you should consider the next time you fire or lay someone off. It shows startlingly poor judgment and management skills — and cowardice — on your parts." Let's hear the best and worst goodbye emails you've seen.
I was at a company that had to cut either the IT manager or tech and chose wrong. They kept the clueless manager, while the tech changed the passwords on the way out the door AND sent the insulting email to "allusers". Once it became clear that the manager had failed to disable access to the guy he was firing and did not know how to reset the passwords, they fired him and rehired the tech.
Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
. . . Good for the managers. Personal problems shouldn't affect their decisions. What, the managers should instead lay off a better employee because they're feeling sorry for this woman?
Also keep in mind that Law Firms are KNOWN for letting go female associates after miscarriages, or if they know that they are trying to get pregnant. They don't want maternity leave and dealing with moms and kids, but they can't fire a pregnant woman. Having a miscarriage can be a career ending event at some firms, because they know you want to have children, but you're no longer pregnant.
I hope companies will switch to pay cuts over lay offs like HP did and like some companies in Germany are doing (nice there, you get a pay cut but you also get hours cut so you have more life to enjoy at least).
I'd argue that that is actually necessary to future economic development. As technology advances, it's natural that fewer people can get more done in less time. At some point that means that there's less than 8 hours of work per potential worker to be accomplished. The current scheme of firing some and keeping the rest working 8 hours is obviously not workable unless we want a permanent underclass with more guns than food.
Consider, if everyone in the U.S. took half a day off on Friday (or took every other Friday off), we could go from 10% unemployment to zero in short order.
Many moons ago, I worked for a consumer hardware/software company that no longer exists...but their mascot was a professor. With an egg-shaped head. Ahem.
Anyhoo...a manager was packaged one day. He was well-liked by his co-workers and employees, but butted heads with the exec team. On his last day he wrote a lengthy email to everyone in the company detailing why he was very sad to see a company with so many good people and good products go to hell because of poor management, and proceeded to detail examples of what he deemed to be poor management. As he was packing up his desk and saying his goodbyes, he was pulled into the Operations Exec's office along with two corporate lawyers, and spent the last three hours of his last day apologizing for sending the email, and pleading his case as to why he should still be allowed a package, and not be fired outright and have any severance payments and benefits denied on the spot.
Yeah...oops
My debut novel AMITY now available: http://jeremydbrooks.c
I voluntarily left a "back-up" position I was given as an apology for my boss eating my budget and thus having to eliminate my original position in the same-ish department . I was somewhat bitter entering the position, but I knew I could make great changes in my new position. Little did I know that the supervisor was angry, paranoid, irrational, and rather cruel to some people. When I quit, I left her with a long letter detailing each of her major leadership and tact-based mistakes she made in the paltry 3 months I was there. I then told her how disappointing it was that she did not have the necessary leadership skills after 15 years in that position ... also noting that my position having gone through 13 people in 5 years should be a clue.
When I resigned that position, it was required to turn in a copy of my resignation letter to HR. So I gave them a copy. "Somehow" others saw it, too. Those others liked it and expressed their condolences... specifically since the person under whom I was employed is an "untouchable" in our industry. She will always be there because of who she is.
While taking every other Friday off might be beneficial for other reasons, a reduction of worker-hours is unlikely to produce an equal increase in the number of hours available for others. The labor pool is not zero-sum.
See, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lump_of_labour_fallacy
One problem is that in many cases two employees working at 50% is less efficient or more expensive than one employee working at 100%.
I really do like the idea of a shortened work week, but the argument that it will reduce employment is a tough sell, and (I believe, but I could be wrong) was tried and failed during the Great Depression.
From a summer ssociate at Cadwalader, Wickersham and Taft:
In case ya'll are doubting my declaring CWT a TTT:
By the time you read this in the morning, I am sure that you will have heard of what happened to me. All for no reason. I warn all the summer associates this firm is a joke of what it used to be. Read the history. With a man like Jordan Schwartz in charge what can you expect. For those that do not know my mother has cancer and I asked if I could leave the firm next Wednesday to take care of her. I was told that I would know by the end of the day my status. Also the day before my 5-year old daughter was in the hospital with a 105 degree fever. It was not a good week and the power at be knew that.
Mr. Schwartz had the gall to complain that I was on my cell phone talking about my daughter's condition during my partner dinner on Monday. That's the problem with the legal profession -- family has to come 2nd. Whoever it was that had a problem with my cell phone use in that situation (Mr. Polkes perhaps, Mr. Perel) should have been man or woman enough to confront me and they would have learned of the crisis and accepted it. Others used their phones too but because of my Italian-American heritage I was singled out.
To my friends, I consider you my friends because you have treated me right. Thank you for many happy times. Until today, I (we) did not see the real side of Cadwalader (who is probably rolling in his grave right now at the State of the Firm). While clearing my stuff from my desk and making telephone arrangements Mr. Schwartz called a security guard to monitor me. Gerry and Mike saw it first hand. Like the old Soviet Union, I was led downstairs to a waiting car. If you remember what I look like, I am a real threat. Please, those in charge are supposed to be rational.
I wish you all good luck and will maybe see some of you tomorrow when I return my Blackberry (which the firm favors over its employees). Doris don't worry you will get it back, but what will you do when Monica comes back and you become another no-good party planner?? The power trip will end.
To all of you I was told by Mr. Schwartz that I will receive pay for my 4 days of work this week if he decides he wants to show "goodwill" towards me. This is fascism. I am actually happy tonight because now I can quit this corrupt profession and not be a bitch for a partner. I can proudly say that I am now no person's bitch. We all heard the bad stuff about this firm before we joined and I was warned but I did not heed the warning and I got repaid. But I will survive. I will work in a profession where I will see my loved ones and will do good. Instead of representing the drug companies who are driving prices up, why not represent the Aids patients or poor who cannot afford these drugs. That joke of a pro bono program also needs no further consideration, we all saw it.
Does any one remember the movie "A Civil Action?" who do identify more with John Travolta who was fighting for the rights of the people or Hale and Dorr who was fighting for the rights of the polluters. Whose side do you think CWT is on. I am glad I can become one of the good guys again. We all like money, but what price to achieve it? Self dignity? I have seen a particular partner commit acts that should be sexual harassment on women at least 4 times. Will he be disciplined? I don't think so because he is a "rainmaker."
I now realize that I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't want the orders from those stuck on themselves and their ivy league schools. I don't want to be disrespected by people who probably cannot hold a family life together and do not know common sense. I don't want to be a bad guy. CWT is the bad guy, the biggest if the bad guy. It tries to prevent those who have legitimate grievances from redress because of their reinsurance knowledge. They are the bad guys, the partners. Remember the "Devil's Advocate?" My soul is mine and will remain mine. To all the people with families who never see them, re-think your lives, is that what yo
It happened once for me, and everyone deserves one chance to burn bridges.
I was living in in the USA, there on a work visa. Unfortunately, my manager was letting power go to his head, making life a living hell for the entire lab. He had it in for me, and I just wanted to finish up some things before quitting (and leaving the country), so it was a race and we both knew it.
JUST before he was about to fire me, I handed in my notice--four weeks, to ensure time to complete or transition my work tasks properly. He promptly told me to clean my workspace and avoid touching the lab equipment or computers, so within a few days, I was forced to sit at my desk, feet up, reading Hugh Johnson's wine Encyclopedia.
When it came time for my exit interview, I was asked if something could have been done differently to make me stay. I pointed out that every person in my group had a secret file in the bottom of their desk drawer, detailing the times our manager had been abusive, unreasonable, or unfair to them.
Management eventually saw those files, and "promoted" the manager to a desk position with no staff or responsibilities--just paperwork.
"People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die." -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
I practice the art of saying goodbye via e-mail without e-mail. The people who care already know, or will find out soon enough. If I liked them and had a personal relationship I say goodbye in person, or failing that call them within a reasonable time frame. Almost every global goodbye letter I ever got left me scratching my head: Who is this person, and why do they think I care? I suppose it is different for a CEO or very high level executive, but the marketing folks really don't care if an embedded Linux engineer left the company. I definately don't want to waste my time sifting through E-Mails from people I have never met who have confused themselves into thinking their personal life is somehow important to me.
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
It is generally bad form to announce publicly who you would and would not have sex with unless:
1. Specifically asked,
and
2. The answer is glaringly obvious.
I.e. "Would you have sex with Rosy O'Donnell?"
"Yes. But then she would be a necrophiliac."
If on the other hand you sent a little private note to each of the hotys in the office that said: "I never approached you because we are coworkers but now that we no longer have that barrier to contend with, do you want to go out with me? Being out of work, I can't take you anywhere fancy but I am a pretty good cook and I finally have the time to clean my apartment."
That would be cool and may go a far way to easing your pain at loosing a job. It worked great the last time I left an employer. Until these hotys started trading stories about the new boyfriend.
--= Isn't it surprising how badly I spell ?